ONCE UPON A TIME

Once upon a time there was a great King who beleived in each of his people and spent much time working with them to find their greatest potential. He spent many years helping the common folk and was very proud of a yearly surplus of money to assist anyone in the kingdom. This King was loved by all and he proudly loved each of his pople back in many different ways.

Unfortunately, there was one group which despised everything the King did with the common folk and felt he was improper and stupid to be seen with a peasant. Their essence hailed from a time when the King was divine and no one came near him, much less talk in a common manner. Their King had been out of power for years, but the yearning to return was strong; as strong as the need for more money to roll into the treasury and then into their private accounts again. Taxes are good, but defense contracts are better.

One day the wise and good King made a mistake...he was found with a palace intern not known for her past piety who was also on the payroll of the Nasties. The good King was not aware of her Nasty Affiliation and quickly apologized, but the Nasty Girl went public and created havoc among the shire. The King felt this was an issue between himself, spouse and daughter; but the Nasties publicized it over the entire breadth and depth of the land. The Good King kept it together though he did have to face the parliament to defend his actions and monarchy. He was allowed to stay, but told he needed to leave when the next year was over. The Good King obeyed and left a hefty surplus in the treasury.

The Nasties organized very quickly and decided upon a good King who really did not have that much experience, but his father was filthy rich. Secondly, this candidate, Sir Gump, was a born Nasty who liked to drink, carouse, ingest cocaine and be dishonest. The Nasties decided the best way to get him in was to rig the official ballot boxes with false bottoms already filled with votes for Sir Gump. Needless to say, Sir Gump became King Gump and his Queen, Pickles.

King Gump decided the best rule was by Divine Decree and petitioned the Almighty to grant him such. He spoke often of his conversations with the Creator and many came to believe he was of the same lineage, but others thought he suffered from a mental defect.

The King began gazing at himself each morning in a morning until the routine became obsessive. Continually looking upon himself caused detraction within the kindgom as Nasties raised taxes, took advantage of neighbors and chaos ruled. The King, however, was content to see his reflection as it should be; not as it was.

One day a heavenly trumpet blared and an envelope floated down from the heavens. The King's erswhile assistant, Sir Dick, grabbed the messsage and quickly took it to Sir Gump. The King hurriedly opened it, turned different shades of white and threw the document down.

Sir Dick picked up the discarded message and read:

Very shortly your mirror will be destroyed and distributed to all the people. Therefore, your image will only be found in the goodness reflected in each person's face. Go ye and sin no
more.

The King sent out for a Royal Shot of Chinaco.