Vietnam Service

Vietnam Service
Vietnam Service

Monday, May 02, 2005

THE ABSENCE OF REASON

TREASURES FROM KING GEORGE II:

I think we agree, the past is over.

It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way. April 28, 2005

We look forward to analyzing and working with legislation that will make — it would hope — put a free press's mind at ease that you're not being denied information you shouldn't see. April 14, 2005

I want to appreciate those of you who wear our nation's uniform for your sacrifice. Jan. 14, 2005

Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history? Jan. 10, 2005

The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off. Oct. 8, 2004

Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. Sept. 6, 2004

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. Aug. 5, 2004

As you know, these are open forums. You're able to come and listen to what I have to say.

The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your families.

If we don't stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, then we're going to have a serious problem coming down the road. And I'm going to prevent that.

All of these provoking statements originated from the same source, President of the United States of America George W. Bush Jr., recently lambasted by spouse Laura on his manhood, bedroom habits and more in public.

Former Vice-President Dan Quayle created a whole new source of comedy income for thousands during his tenure. Here's a representative sample of his utterances:


Current Events

We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human rights in accordance with the pursuit of justice.

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.

[The US] condones violence in El Salvador.
1/31/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human rights in accordance with the pursuit of Justice.
2/3/89 (reported in The Chicago Tribune, 2/4/89)

[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was] a stirring victory for the forces of aggression.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 4/11/91 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

Vietnam is a jungle. You had jungle warfare. Kuwait, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, you have sand. [There is no need to worry about a protracted war because] from a historical basis, Middle East conflicts do not last a long time.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 10/2/90 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)


Environment/Space

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If there is oxygen, that means we can breathe. 8/11/89

Geography

Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a... it is different than the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it’s got a particularly unique situation.

It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago!

Self/Philosophy

What a waste it is to lose one's mind-or not to have a mind. How true that is.
Addressing the United Negro College Fund

If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.

I’ve heard people say that [I have a short attention span]. I don’t feel I do, because when I’m interested in something I’ll stay in focus as long as it is necessary... If you get off on something I’m not very interested in, it’s very easy for me to block it out. It’s easy for me to block things out.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children. 9/18/90

My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never, never surrender to what is right.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. 11/30/88

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
9/15/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92, The New Yorker, 10/10/88, p.102)

Politics

I should have remembered that was Andrew Jackson who said that, since he got his nickname `Stonewall' by vetoing bills passed by Congress.

--Confusing Andrew Jackson with Confederate General Thomas J. `Stonewall' Jackson, who actually got his nickname at the first Battle of Bull Run.

I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican.

We are doing the right thing and we do not see the bad things.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Now we are faced with an extremely tough decision prompted by investigation of these statements. Is President George W. Bush Jr. impersonating Dan Quayle or is Dan Quayle impersonating George W. Bush Jr. Perhaps both are impersonating Dick Cheney or Laura Bush. Its a tough call, but your help is needed to make the final determination.

Confirmation needs to occur each time Dan or George is seen consisting of the following: first, jump up and down stating, "its Dan, its Dan or if George, its George, its George". Then approach and ask them to spell potato. Dan Quayle will automatically add an e to the end and voila, you have an identification. President George is slightly different--ask him to read the word nuclear....if he says "nuklear", then its Dubya and another id is made. For gosh sake, don't ask why they didn't serve in Vietnam since both will run to their respective Fathers for help!

Beleive me, this is a matter of national security and only American citizens can make the call since both men have similar drawbacks in logic, syntax, and overall ability to speak English.


Let me know of your success and I will publish it here.............

Our future is at hand and America must know which of these sentence mutilators is which or what.............

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