The White House held a special news conference today in an effort to fully explain Vice-President Dick Cheney stating his position was not within the Executive Branch. Tony Snow and the VP are walking up to the microphone now:
Snow: Good Morning, journalists.....Jeff, are you here?
VP: Skip the Gannon crap and get on with it.
Snow: The Vice-Presidency is not part of the Executive Branch since primary duty is President of the Senate. The President concurs and naturally, so do we.
Question: If this is indeed fact, then does the White House plan to return the millions of dollars allocated in the budget specifically for the VP position?
VP: We ain't giving nothin' back...all you have to do is believe what is said, you screw! Someday, I'll bust out of this place....yah, on top of the world, Ma!!
Question: Interesting comment, VP Cheney, but Congress controls the purse strings; not you. Does this also mean you will have to move out of the Naval Observatory-you know, the place where you like to stiff the electric bill!!
VP: Funny guy, ehhhhh! Well, go fark yourself with a wet armadillo! Me and my boytoy, Georgie, can pretty much do what we want. Why....because we want to and secondly, this is our house and not yours. Keep that trap of yours in line or else there will be trouble. I swing a mean rod......
Question: How do you plan to just arbitrarily change the Constitution and decades of tradition?
Snow: Easy (snaps his fingers) it's changed. Oh, there may be some sticky wickets, but overall, it will be smooth running. Remember, we is good and you are bad. You, there in the back, wearing the wide brim hat, sunglasses and short as a microbe. Who are you?
Helen Thomas: Its Helen Thomas, yellow snow brain. Simply wanted to find a strategic position to ask questions since you banished me from the front.
Snow: Okay, Helen, ask your question and then go back to school.
Thomas: The war is not going well......
Snow: That's only conjecture subject to interpretation and we say its splendidly orchestrated.
Thomas: Whatever, but this president never seems to place himself in the front lines....only in a defense position to cry havoc.
VP: Get rid of this screwball or else I may have to get another draft deferment..
Snow: Our president, hallowed be thy name, is always on the front lines; always in the fox hole; if fact he sacrifices more with his fantasy dreams than most of you at daily work. He lives, breathes, eats and defecates the Iraq war every single day. In fact, just yesterday, President Bush was remarking how much he needed to relax, perhaps travel back to Georgia (former Soviet state) and visit Atlanta. We were very touched by his words since he seemed to say nothing at all.
VP: Enough of this crap. Press conference is over, the acts are done and all of you are no more than pus eating maggots. Get out of here before I call Gomer Pyle!!!Snow: Good Morning, journalists.....Jeff, are you here?
VP: Skip the Gannon crap and get on with it.
Snow: The Vice-Presidency is not part of the Executive Branch since primary duty is President of the Senate. The President concurs and naturally, so do we.
Question: If this is indeed fact, then does the White House plan to return the millions of dollars allocated in the budget specifically for the VP position?
VP: We ain't giving nothin' back...all you have to do is believe what is said, you screw! Someday, I'll bust out of this place....yah, on top of the world, Ma!!
Question: Interesting comment, VP Cheney, but Congress controls the purse strings; not you. Does this also mean you will have to move out of the Naval Observatory-you know, the place where you like to stiff the electric bill!!
VP: Funny guy, ehhhhh! Well, go fark yourself with a wet armadillo! Me and my boytoy, Georgie, can pretty much do what we want. Why....because we want to and secondly, this is our house and not yours. Keep that trap of yours in line or else there will be trouble. I swing a mean rod......
Question: How do you plan to just arbitrarily change the Constitution and decades of tradition?
Snow: Easy (snaps his fingers) it's changed. Oh, there may be some sticky wickets, but overall, it will be smooth running. Remember, we is good and you are bad. You, there in the back, wearing the wide brim hat, sunglasses and short as a microbe. Who are you?
Helen Thomas: Its Helen Thomas, yellow snow brain. Simply wanted to find a strategic position to ask questions since you banished me from the front.
Snow: Okay, Helen, ask your question and then go back to school.
Thomas: The war is not going well......
Snow: That's only conjecture subject to interpretation and we say its splendidly orchestrated.
Thomas: Whatever, but this president never seems to place himself in the front lines....only in a defense position to cry havoc.
VP: Get rid of this screwball or else I may have to get another draft deferment..
Snow: Our president, hallowed be thy name, is always on the front lines; always in the fox hole; if fact he sacrifices more with his fantasy dreams than most of you at daily work. He lives, breathes, eats and defecates the Iraq war every single day. In fact, just yesterday, President Bush was remarking how much he needed to relax, perhaps travel back to Georgia (former Soviet state) and visit Atlanta. We were very touched by his words since he seemed to say nothing at all.
Thomas: Hey, Dick????? Did you ever get that gift subscription to Lesbian Co-Dependent I sent to you. You could use a makeover.
VP: Yadda, Yadda, Helen.....where's Jeff when I need him??
No comments:
Post a Comment