Ladies and Gentlemen, a news conference has begun to elaborate on the President's plan to convince America he is always right about Iran regardless of what intelligence agencies state, what others proclaim and yadda, yadda, yadda. Dana The Dimple comes to the rostrum:
Dana: Good Morning, Controlled Media. I want to make a brief statement and then open it up for questions.
Dana: Okay, that was the statement, get it!!!; let me consult my color coded chart for good people to select. Done, you there in back, wearing the single tone outfit.
Indiv: Yes, what do you want?
Dana: Ask your question!
Indiv: I'm the janitor, okay.
Dana: Damn chart...uhhhh, the Cuban Missile Crisis is still not relevant. Regardless of what your hear, the President is always right. He says so thus one should believe.
Press: Reputable intelligence agencies in this nation and the world have stated Iran ceased military nuke operations in 2003, yet President In A Bubble continued to rant on World War III and stoke the war fires. How do you explain that?
Dana: He is always right and didn't do any of those things. Let me explain this for your edification (4 syllables). It comes from God to George through me to you. Therefore, these statements are divine in origin and not subject to fallacy. Like, its theocratically cool!!
Press: Are you stating President In A Bubble (PIB) is a prophet?
Dana: Duhhhhhhhhhhh! Took you awhile to figure that one out, Einstein!!!
Press: This is hard to envision since he is so mistake prone. Can you give us something more to validate this revelation?
Dana: Have you ever noticed how Barney (pet dog) always follows in his footsteps and never urinates on White House fire hydrants. Next question....
Press: There are no White House fire hydrants....
Dana: See, the Tribulation has begun and you didn't even notice!!!! Barney works in mysterious ways. No Cuban Missile crisis here or if there ever was one...
Press: Let's get a bit more substantive. Why did the President cite the fear of World War III knowing the Iranians had ceased nuclear activities?
Dana: He's the President and talks with God. I talk to the President sometimes too, but usually when his wife isn't around. Pickles tends to rain on the party and that's when one needs to clarify issues. She's an issue and I'm Dana.
Press: Not sure what that meant, but you didn't answer the question. Please, why did he continue preaching World War III when he knew production had stopped.
Dana: That falls under Executive Privilege between him and God. The Missile Crisis happened in Cuba and you thought I didn't know.
Press: How does one get a straight answer from this administration?
Dana: Oh, Silly....ask a crooked question and then hope for the best!! Time to go since I have to look up someone named Kruschev for my new book on etiquette....
Press: One last question......was the White House involved in the destruction of CIA tapes!
Dana: Of course, not. PIB gets his anti-depressants and alcohol from the House Physician. God told him to take these to develop a clearer picture of the domestic scene and boy, has it ever helped. Bye, now...
This has been a heavenly production authorized by President In A Bubble, his disciple, Karl and Official White House Dog, Barney.
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