Apple is considering switching chip manufacturing from Motorola to Intel. Seems I recall IBM once had a financial portion of Intel and wonder what the status of that deal is now? Apple and IBM have been negotiating quite a bit and one can only wonder if something is up that will irritate Redmond Bill. Time will tell......
Somewhere, sometime, the President gotta find some speechwriters that make sense. You listen to the guy read the teleprompter (and not that well), but wonder if these speechwriters have been snorting carpet fuzz all night. They can't seem to remember promises made a week ago much less statements a year ago. Hey, George finally stated Iraq wasn't part of the 9/11 deal and here is the same charge popping up again. These guys need to go to a good Iowa barn to shovel pigpoo in 98 degree temperature with the humidity at the same level to get their brain cells motivated. They can also take the President, VP and SeDef along as well for some honest work for a change instead of screwing up.
Ann Coulter finally discovered Gitmo when someone told her this was the shortened name for Guantanamo in Cuba. Ms. Coulter then proceeded to check with local tourist agencies in NYC, etc., and lo and behold, Gitmo is now a five start hotel. Can you imagine that? Ann's new career since she can't fake being an intellectual much longer will undoubtedly be a tour guide. In fact, she can take Julie's place on the Love Boat and honk on Gopher all day since he was a Republic Representative. Other that that, Ann Coulter really doesn't much to intellectual discourse within society except when asleep. Other than be overly concerned with mass book sales by CostCo, Sam's Club, etc, and expecting to be hawking them on any television show on is getting old. She fully realizes sales are tied to outlandish remarks, but even conservatives have her number now and are calling her on it. A CBC interview went badly when Golly Gee Brain Went South Ann attempted to convince host Brian McKeown Canada had fought along side the United States in the Vietnam War. Of course, they had not, she was reminded by McKeown, but Ann would not give this up stating she would get back to him. Of course, this ruined the whole evening when Ann was going to lambast our Northern Neighbors for non-participation in Iraq and then found they might not have participated in Vietnam as well. Ann just had to go back to her five star hotel and take a mudbath to relieve herself and insure no Muslims were around.
Why is it when the President is close to giving a speech, his underlings cannot keep their big mouths shut. First, its Deferment Dick Cheney stating the insurgents are in the "final throes:" followed by the SecDef informing us this war may go on for another 12-15 years. Why does he keep them around except for comic relief? Time to invest in a heavy sock and give directions for inserting into mouth within three months of a speech.
Meanwhile, the commercial development has not been going well in Iraq particularly in Baghdad. Electricity is not up to its full pre-war level yet and Halliburton may need at least another 20-40 billion dollars to bribe enough bureaucrats to turn the switch at undamaged stations. The Gap, Wal-Mart, Target, Burger King, etc., is just chomping at the bits to get going in Baghdad in a full strip mart design, but is kind of hesitating with all this insurgency occurring. Never fear, VP Deferment Dick Cheney states they are in the final throes and then solid commericialization can commence with due haste as soon as all the fundamentalist churches are built to bring these heathens to the Lord, per Dobson.
The President quickly dispatched various fundamentalist groups to Iraq to minister unto the masses and even put one group in charge of a newspaper whose first issue not only offended the Muslims, but down right ticked them off. Never fear, this is to be anticipated when the Word of God comes down upon the masses who really don't want to hear it. Fundamentalists haven't been that successful and may have to resort to social services which was their second plan. The conversion can come later after the President talks with God. Meanwhile, the crossover rate is not that sterling since the fundamentalists are getting hung up on asking for money every 2 minutes and 42 seconds; not quite the sterling Jim and Tammie record, but trying!!
The feds finally found a way to worm into the internet the Federal Election Commission. Sites which are used expressively to haw a candidates or groups bearing the same partly label may not get to do their thing. In fact, many sites may feel the sting since there were excellent blogs that researched the missing two years of George's national guard duty and he is still ticked about that. Time for payback and the FEC is almost ready to levy rules and regulations (except for Republican far right candidates of course).
I keep getting emails from Alien Computers and seem to like their stuff. There was a time when Worst Buy (Best Buy to most) carried Alien so I shuffled over to their tidy little store to seek the latest. I found one computer appropriately placed at an aisle's end to entice onlookers. It had top of the line everything plus a very unique tower case, etc., but the price was slight up there next to "knock, knock, knockin', on heaven's door." The salesperson was overenthusiastic about the system to the point of my wondering if someone needed to run out for Ritalin. He looked very depressed when I told him I was only looking and would probably be back (sometime when politicians are honest!). It looked good, but that god awful price tag just had to go away.
Finally, I run two antispyware programs on my computer, SpySweeper and CounterSpy; both excellent, highly rated and they do the job. I still find it amazing how trojans, particularly, get onto my system. My firewall is cranked up high enough to barely let me in, but lo and behold, my fantastic Kasperk Personal found a trojan, IST, and let me know about it. Since I have always had faith in the Cossacks doing their sacred duty, I hit the delete and away went the ISTTrojan to another dimension. Naturally, I ran everything else to be sure and found nothing which really didn't help in my quest to find the route. Being a good American and not Ann Coulter, I placed the responsibility on myself for something downloaded which must have had this attached to it somehow. Humbly, I bowed to the pyre of error and said the magic words, "I think it's my error." My computer immediately whirred me into absolution and now I am good for another 30 days maybe or unless their is another screwup. My computer, Elwood, is pretty direct about screwups and I am proud to say the probability factor is 99% for me and an error factor of 1% otherwise. That gives me a lot of latitude to work with and someday a good one will be found.
Time to watch MASH on the Hallmark Channel since Frank and HotLips are an item in the pre-Donald Penobscott shows.
Vietnam Service
Vietnam Service
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Linux vs XP vs the World vs Linux vs XP
Listening to the various arguments almost on a daily basis involving Microsoft, Linux and various other operating systems causes a ringing in my ears very few painkillers alleviate. I am fortunate enough to have many good friends involved at various levels of the computer industry and listen attentively to pick up interesting bits of information for application to my own technical field. They are, however, torn primarily between Linux and Microsoft operating systems; and argue good naturely over the validity of each until a good high colonic is suggested by myself to end the perpetual argument. Of course, my high colonic suggestion is met with suspicion not only to my educational background and military service, but my supposed interest in high colonics which is vehemently denied.
Fairness and objectivity is something applied to many arguments in my fields of history and computers. A striving is needed to understand the relative merits of both Microsoft XP, in this case and SUSE Linux 9.2, shall we say since familiarity is known through usage of both. Personally, there are merits and disadvantages of both systems, but some commonalities that stand out. There is no doubt Microsoft has increasing become a memory hog in each new operating system unveiled while SUSE Linux can run very easily on meager memory. My desktop operates on 768MB of memory which is enough to sustain Windows XPSP2, but makes SUSE Linux 9.2 whiz like a champ through many applications.
Obviously, there are many more applications available for MS XP than SUSE Linux 9.2. Linux has seen more software companies swing over in the past few years as well an more American cities and various nations adopting this operating system. The hope is more well known software companies will develop applications for Linux since more US localities and nations are utilizing the system. IBM has been a strong booster for Linux for a few years now, but major computer manufacturers vacillate between offering Linux on systems in addition to Microsoft. Dell did for awhile, but charge more than it did for MS XP which made little sense other than they sold far less than the MS equipped ones. There seems to be a lot of commerce talk now indicating more computer companies will be offering Linux, but that remains to be seen.
What are the advantages of Linux? It takes less memory to function with as mentioned before and seems to be a safer system overall. There have been some security flaws in the system, but they have been quickly met and patches issued in a short period of time. In fact, various patches, etc., are always available whenever one goes up on Linux pending whatever one decides to apply. I also enjoy the security available on Linux utilizing both a uder id and password to enter, period. One can neter XP, encounter a security screeen and bypass by merely hitting cancel, but that is not the same on Linux. Secondly, any change to inner Linux is accessible only by password which again is very easy to access through XP. Another aspect is various GUI one can use in Linux ranging from Linux to GNome. There are wonderful selections depending on whatever your desires are. So we have operating on neglible memory, various GUIs, securty and a wonderful patching system readily acessibly to.
On the other hand, Linux is a system that takes adjusting to if you haven't operated it before. It demands a different mindset and the ability to absorb a Unix based system instead of the prevalent MS type most are familiar with. XP's installation idea, for example, is to simply download the desired program, click twice and the installation begins with limited intervention needed by the user. Linux 9.2, on the other hand, is slightly different and requires much more user attention to protocol than MS in addition to familiarity to a different type of file system. Make no doubt about it, you have to do your homework and a bit of studying pays off in the long run with a smooth running operating system. Best thing to do is visit a bookstore and buy a SUSE Linux book which outlines all the various operations, functions, etc., and familiarize yourself with it before actually doing some hands on operations. It pays off in the long run with greater understanding not only of Linux, but of the subtle differences with XP.
Linux has made substantial GUI changes with each new edition and has done well with SUSE Linux 9.2. My Linux Guru friends rant they are making it too much like MS while others state it is necessary to develop attraction by former MS owners. Regardless, the current GUI is easy to function with once you are familiar with the process just like other system. In fact, Linux has more to offer in terms of customization that XP and generally, what you don't find can be download by some genius who has written code for the very thing you desire. Linux research and development is among the people and not confined to Redmond as MS is. This vast pool of Linux developers adds so many unqie contributions that can only be reviewed by constantly going to the various Linux websites from around the world. Though Linux is free code, there are various companies like SUSE, Redhat and others who sell Linux for a small fee. The development, however, is till among the millions of adherents who develop everything from Tux to a small clock to tell time in Russian, for example. Its truly an amazing example in international cooperation at work on a wonderful project.
One thing continually tiring about XP are the numerous security updates not only for XP, but also the various components such as Office, Outlook, Internet Explorer and Outlook Express. There were eight two weeks ago, but the number this year alone is staggering in comparison to Linux which is confronted with very few in comparison. So one asks why the problem with Microsoft? My guess is two fold with the primary being Microsoft didn't accomplish a great deal of research and development before unveiling a product to the masses for sale. I sense their concept was to present it for sale and then meet each challenge as it arose instead of finding various major during during an expensive and time consumed r/d period. One can also call this profit motive before r/d expenditures whereas Linus research and development is constant involving millions of people worldwide on any given issue. Secondly, it also appears Bill Gates, himself, gain many enemies due to his management style, aggressiveness and monopolistic desires that, in turn, manifested itself in creation of a multitude of hackers who developed a sole mission to find as many flaws or security holes in MS products as possible. In all fairness, there are many reputable laboratories out there which also find flaws and report them to Microsoft and Redmond gives them credit accordingly when announcing the hole and subsequent game plan for it. Regardless, a combination of the two aforemention reasons seem to illustrate the continual need for security upadates, SPs and various other changes issued by MS on a regular basis to those operating Microsoft operating system and products.
That in itself is enough to make even the most faithful to MS wonder what in the heck is going on. Take this example to consider>Outlook Express has a tendency to lose all print in the preview pane at times and also in the email when clicked to read. A diligent search of MS revleas only to a reinstall a dll thrun the run command on an interim basis with no permanent solution to the dilemma. This has ocurred to several of clients' systems and I gave up after exhaustive research for a solution and recommended they use Mozilla Thuderbird instead. All clients agreed this was an excellent recommendation after an initial breaking in period and now will not use anything else. Accordingly, they have also switched over to Mozilla Firefox due to security consideration after difficulties Internet Explorer has experienced and my recommendations. Bottom line was security and no permanent MS solution available even after email contact with MS techreps.
I have found no major problems with Linux nor Mozilla; and those encountered have been quickly resolved through the massive system used by both to encounter and resolve these needs. Linux has a massive knowledge base on SUSE and questions can also be directed to a LIVE PERSON for resolvement who actually emails you back within a short period of time. I was amazed since no waiting time was involved as with MS and secondly, I didn't find myself talking with someone from either China or India, with respect, that difficulties were encountered understanding due to cultural differences. It appears MS has made great strides in this area, but they still lack on the customer service side.
What is the end result for me? I have one hard drive devoted to Linux 9.2 shortly to be upgraded to 9.3 which will be used to develop more knowledge and expertise with; a second harddrive with MS XPSP2 on for the same purpose; and a third on with Windows 2000SPR to remember the good old days. I could list all the difficulties had with XP, but will save that along with solutions for another rant. It will be interesting.
Gain as much knowledge as possible on all operating systems since both MS XP and Linux are being pushed hard throughout the world. They both have good selling points, but Linux is a bit ahead with a low cost tag and safer system; MS pushes on the availability of much software, but has to really work to convey safety. Personally, I would rather see Bill Gates arguing with Linus Torvald at some site in acity where it was all taped for future viewing. Not that Bill would ever do this, but it would be interesting to see and hear what both had to say about their respective systems. I placing my bet on Linus Torvald since Linux is stil surviving after years of being bad mouthed by Bill; particularly that served Gates onces stated was his greated nemeis-Apache. So good, MS installed them at Redmond and during one nasty bug night, these servers saved his butt, but Bill didn't like the annoucement being made Apache had achieved this. In fact, his ego needed massaging after that.
Fairness and objectivity is something applied to many arguments in my fields of history and computers. A striving is needed to understand the relative merits of both Microsoft XP, in this case and SUSE Linux 9.2, shall we say since familiarity is known through usage of both. Personally, there are merits and disadvantages of both systems, but some commonalities that stand out. There is no doubt Microsoft has increasing become a memory hog in each new operating system unveiled while SUSE Linux can run very easily on meager memory. My desktop operates on 768MB of memory which is enough to sustain Windows XPSP2, but makes SUSE Linux 9.2 whiz like a champ through many applications.
Obviously, there are many more applications available for MS XP than SUSE Linux 9.2. Linux has seen more software companies swing over in the past few years as well an more American cities and various nations adopting this operating system. The hope is more well known software companies will develop applications for Linux since more US localities and nations are utilizing the system. IBM has been a strong booster for Linux for a few years now, but major computer manufacturers vacillate between offering Linux on systems in addition to Microsoft. Dell did for awhile, but charge more than it did for MS XP which made little sense other than they sold far less than the MS equipped ones. There seems to be a lot of commerce talk now indicating more computer companies will be offering Linux, but that remains to be seen.
What are the advantages of Linux? It takes less memory to function with as mentioned before and seems to be a safer system overall. There have been some security flaws in the system, but they have been quickly met and patches issued in a short period of time. In fact, various patches, etc., are always available whenever one goes up on Linux pending whatever one decides to apply. I also enjoy the security available on Linux utilizing both a uder id and password to enter, period. One can neter XP, encounter a security screeen and bypass by merely hitting cancel, but that is not the same on Linux. Secondly, any change to inner Linux is accessible only by password which again is very easy to access through XP. Another aspect is various GUI one can use in Linux ranging from Linux to GNome. There are wonderful selections depending on whatever your desires are. So we have operating on neglible memory, various GUIs, securty and a wonderful patching system readily acessibly to.
On the other hand, Linux is a system that takes adjusting to if you haven't operated it before. It demands a different mindset and the ability to absorb a Unix based system instead of the prevalent MS type most are familiar with. XP's installation idea, for example, is to simply download the desired program, click twice and the installation begins with limited intervention needed by the user. Linux 9.2, on the other hand, is slightly different and requires much more user attention to protocol than MS in addition to familiarity to a different type of file system. Make no doubt about it, you have to do your homework and a bit of studying pays off in the long run with a smooth running operating system. Best thing to do is visit a bookstore and buy a SUSE Linux book which outlines all the various operations, functions, etc., and familiarize yourself with it before actually doing some hands on operations. It pays off in the long run with greater understanding not only of Linux, but of the subtle differences with XP.
Linux has made substantial GUI changes with each new edition and has done well with SUSE Linux 9.2. My Linux Guru friends rant they are making it too much like MS while others state it is necessary to develop attraction by former MS owners. Regardless, the current GUI is easy to function with once you are familiar with the process just like other system. In fact, Linux has more to offer in terms of customization that XP and generally, what you don't find can be download by some genius who has written code for the very thing you desire. Linux research and development is among the people and not confined to Redmond as MS is. This vast pool of Linux developers adds so many unqie contributions that can only be reviewed by constantly going to the various Linux websites from around the world. Though Linux is free code, there are various companies like SUSE, Redhat and others who sell Linux for a small fee. The development, however, is till among the millions of adherents who develop everything from Tux to a small clock to tell time in Russian, for example. Its truly an amazing example in international cooperation at work on a wonderful project.
One thing continually tiring about XP are the numerous security updates not only for XP, but also the various components such as Office, Outlook, Internet Explorer and Outlook Express. There were eight two weeks ago, but the number this year alone is staggering in comparison to Linux which is confronted with very few in comparison. So one asks why the problem with Microsoft? My guess is two fold with the primary being Microsoft didn't accomplish a great deal of research and development before unveiling a product to the masses for sale. I sense their concept was to present it for sale and then meet each challenge as it arose instead of finding various major during during an expensive and time consumed r/d period. One can also call this profit motive before r/d expenditures whereas Linus research and development is constant involving millions of people worldwide on any given issue. Secondly, it also appears Bill Gates, himself, gain many enemies due to his management style, aggressiveness and monopolistic desires that, in turn, manifested itself in creation of a multitude of hackers who developed a sole mission to find as many flaws or security holes in MS products as possible. In all fairness, there are many reputable laboratories out there which also find flaws and report them to Microsoft and Redmond gives them credit accordingly when announcing the hole and subsequent game plan for it. Regardless, a combination of the two aforemention reasons seem to illustrate the continual need for security upadates, SPs and various other changes issued by MS on a regular basis to those operating Microsoft operating system and products.
That in itself is enough to make even the most faithful to MS wonder what in the heck is going on. Take this example to consider>Outlook Express has a tendency to lose all print in the preview pane at times and also in the email when clicked to read. A diligent search of MS revleas only to a reinstall a dll thrun the run command on an interim basis with no permanent solution to the dilemma. This has ocurred to several of clients' systems and I gave up after exhaustive research for a solution and recommended they use Mozilla Thuderbird instead. All clients agreed this was an excellent recommendation after an initial breaking in period and now will not use anything else. Accordingly, they have also switched over to Mozilla Firefox due to security consideration after difficulties Internet Explorer has experienced and my recommendations. Bottom line was security and no permanent MS solution available even after email contact with MS techreps.
I have found no major problems with Linux nor Mozilla; and those encountered have been quickly resolved through the massive system used by both to encounter and resolve these needs. Linux has a massive knowledge base on SUSE and questions can also be directed to a LIVE PERSON for resolvement who actually emails you back within a short period of time. I was amazed since no waiting time was involved as with MS and secondly, I didn't find myself talking with someone from either China or India, with respect, that difficulties were encountered understanding due to cultural differences. It appears MS has made great strides in this area, but they still lack on the customer service side.
What is the end result for me? I have one hard drive devoted to Linux 9.2 shortly to be upgraded to 9.3 which will be used to develop more knowledge and expertise with; a second harddrive with MS XPSP2 on for the same purpose; and a third on with Windows 2000SPR to remember the good old days. I could list all the difficulties had with XP, but will save that along with solutions for another rant. It will be interesting.
Gain as much knowledge as possible on all operating systems since both MS XP and Linux are being pushed hard throughout the world. They both have good selling points, but Linux is a bit ahead with a low cost tag and safer system; MS pushes on the availability of much software, but has to really work to convey safety. Personally, I would rather see Bill Gates arguing with Linus Torvald at some site in acity where it was all taped for future viewing. Not that Bill would ever do this, but it would be interesting to see and hear what both had to say about their respective systems. I placing my bet on Linus Torvald since Linux is stil surviving after years of being bad mouthed by Bill; particularly that served Gates onces stated was his greated nemeis-Apache. So good, MS installed them at Redmond and during one nasty bug night, these servers saved his butt, but Bill didn't like the annoucement being made Apache had achieved this. In fact, his ego needed massaging after that.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Understanding Spyware, Adware, Malware, Hijacking and Logging
Many nasties exist in cyberland just waiting to plant themselves on an unprotected computer. In fact, recent studies have shown 74% of broadband users had spyware or adware on their computers; 67% had no antivirus or had outdated software on their PCs; and nearly 50% do not currently have a firewall. Statistics can be deceiving, but nearly 85% of computer users do not have adequate protection (antivirus, antispyware, firewall) on their systems placing them at risk. This last statistic is simply amazing considering the amount of information about viruses alone that is commonly known.
What risk, you meekly ask with a wry smile? Why the risk of spyware, malware, hijacking, logware. viruses, worms, trojans and phishing to name the more popular ones with new ones propagating faster than earthworms in summer. The bad guys are constantly creating nasties to invade the good guys' systems which many owners are not even aware of. I was recently called to aid a nervous friend who had no idea whatsoever what was happening to her system. She had recently subscribed to broadband (and I won't mention ComCast by name) and the tech had installed everything by the book. Yes, by the book, except he did not inform her she need a current antivirus, antispyware or firewall to protect her investment. My diagnostics found and removed 1,263 pieces of spyware, 8 viruses, 4 trojans and 6 worms which fortunately had done no permanent damage to the unit. She was encouraged to contact that company I won't disclose (ComCast), but probably didn't since chances are no responsibility would have been taken. Also, this company doesn't offer any free security software for subscribers like Cox Communications does. So it goes.
The first step in diagnosing any problem regarding WARE (weasily and rascally entry) is to closely examine your computer operation. Turn on the unit and then set back to watch the booting up. Here is a checksheet to help you:
1. Turn on your system, set back, relax and watch the advertising show. Quite a show will be displayed if you have sufficient inundated adware (advertising spyware) and you will notice continuous popups. The products displayed are many, but more so is the rapidity of each popup taking up your windows memory as well as bandwidth while dmeonstrating subliminal advertising to the hilt. It is safe to assume you are infested with adware if this occurs, but the products being shown aren't that good. Make one check mark.
2. Lets say you turn on your system and it has difficult booting up. In fact, you have problems entering safemode and mutter to yourself: "damn Microsoft." It may not be Microsoft's entire fault, but a small portion is. Spyware can invade many different portions of your system and be transporting worms or viruses to make your life more exciting as well. Where did they come from, you ask? Probably not from the bar you were hanging at last night nor from the date experienced, but could have came from the email received afterwards; or from that free piece of software you installed; or from just being on the internet. WHAT!!!!! Yup, just by being on the internet.
The internet has changed substantially from years ago. Duhhhhhh!!! A system is at risk these days simply by going on the internet without sufficient protection-nasy bots hang out there testing individual computer protection and zoom onto an unprotected one after sending back sufficient information to bring the equivalent of the red sea spyware to you computer's front door. This may sound exaggerated, but not much since the nastie technology has advanced substantially and for every protection released by a recognized laboratory, a counter-nastie is devised by someone out there to attack it. It can be described as evolutionary to the full extend and is an ever crusading battle for truth, justice and the American way. Where is Superman when you need him?
Back to spyware-plants itself on your computer and sends back information to a server ranging from your marketing habits, sites visited, personal information, etc. It is not a good thing to have on your computer and should be removed as soon as possible.
3. Hijackers-this little devils do exactly what the name implies>hijack your computer and you may not even be aware of it. Hacks come onto your system, look around for personal information like passwords, financial information, telephone numbers, etc., and then proceed to do things like download illegal software onto the harddrive, make numerous phone calls, credit card purchases, etc., while your computer is identified as the one used for all transactions. Normally, they are discovered when the credit card or telephone bill arrives indicating $3000 worth of charges in Singapore and you scream!!; and perhaps when something peculiar happens with the computer like bouncing around or programs not there before. Either way, by then the damage is done and the culprits have skipped out leaving you with the aftermath of perhaps identity theft, numerous long distance and international phone calls, tons of credit card purchases and the need to cry all night long. All you can do is prevent it from even happening again after reporting identity theft to the authorities and Barney.
4. Loggers-these devices are implanted on your system to record and transmit everything you log onto your keyboard. Imagine, everything you key into the system has been transmitted to a server somewhere with the idea of obtaining personal identity such as social security numbers, checkings/saving accounts, and any other preferably financial information that can be gleaned. It's mind boggling!!
5. My new favorite is entitled Child Protection or Surveillance TV...in reality its another device which takes snapshots of your entire harddrive or individual files for transfer to a server located in some unknown place where another computer examines for personal information. Very advanced, very sophisticated and demands a good antispyware with current definitions to find on your system.
6. Malware, also called Riskware, is anything that poses malice or risk to your system. This can range from a latent threat which may lay dormant for awhile and then come forth to deliver a potent virus, worm, logger, or hijacker. It depends upon which form deviousness the programmer had in mind when conceiving or if he or she had been to mass recently. Regardless, they can be identified with a good antispyware and dispatched to nastie heaven in the manurepile of digital bliss.
7. One last latter day creation Phishing. Phishing involves professional looking email from what appears to be your bank, ISP, etc., usually stating they are reorganizing financial information and would like for you to resubmit yours again. NOTTTTTTTT!! Its not the real thing and will go only to a server probably out of country where good use will be made of the information given. New security packages now have developed anti-phishing packages, but the best thing is common sense. REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING:
1. Nothing is free completely.....you will always receive something in the background if download.
2. Never open emails you don't recognize. Opening one is sufficient enough to insure an abundance of spam and possible unleashing of nasties upon your system.
3. Never respond to spam. They take it as consent has been given. Best thing is to simply brand it as junk mail, let your system remove it, or delete it, and then report it to your ISP.
4. Don't be taken in by official looking email that resembles your financial institution, ISP or something similar. It probably isn't and could prove far more devastatin than you can imagine. Ignore all Selective Service Draft Notices.
5. Always beware if downloading something, like software, and it comes in a bundled package. Generally, this is an indication it provides products for you to evaluate which involves spyware. Always go to reputable sites for software.
6. USE COMMON SENSE with everything. Keep you antivirus definitions current; update your antispyware consistently; and be aware of your firewall, keep it current and see what it stops.
7. Check your checkings/saving account statements; any other financial investiments; phone bill; credit card statements, etc., to insure nothing out of the ordinary is happening.
8. Never give a contribution to anyone named Barney who claims to be purple and sings a weird song beginning with "I love you, you love me..." Chances are its not Barney, but someone named Bluto seeking enough scratch to find Popeye for a hit. Don't be fooled.
We now come to the part where a discussion of good antispyware products is necessary. Well, this must be prefaced by determining broadband including DSL or using dialup yet. I heartily recommend the use of a router with NAT for broadband/dsl even if only one computer is used. Secondly, choose a good antivirus, firewall and antispyware. I currently utilize an excellent D-Links router with NAT and two anti-spyware programs, SpySweeper and counterSpy. You can't lose with two antispyware programs, but may have difficulty running two antivirus programs simultaneously, i.e. Norton and McAfee. My system only uses one antivirus, Kaspersky Personal Professional and one firewall, Zone Alarm For Wireless. In total, they all work superbly and provide excellent protection for my needs.
I run a wireless for my laptop and use the same two antispyware programs, Kaspersky Anti-Hacker and Kasperky Personal Professional. Again, the protection is superb and no noticeable problems have been noted since configuring both the desktop and laptop.
Now, do you know enough to go out there and fight the good fight. Probably, but you will learn a great deal in the future as the evolutionary struggle continues. You can always visit sites like McAfee, Symantec, Kasperksy, etc., to view the latest virus/worms/trojans; and there are excellent sites for spam like The Spamhaus Project (www.spamhaus.org) or the following for WARE: www.kephyr.com, www.spyware.guide and www.webroot.com has a wonderful guide entitled Truth About Spyware and Adware. There are also psychiatric/psychological sites if you ever become confused to the point of believing you are one with your computer. Feel free to write the following in Google: whyme, hit enter and wait for the results. Help is on the way and you will find your personality again!!!
What risk, you meekly ask with a wry smile? Why the risk of spyware, malware, hijacking, logware. viruses, worms, trojans and phishing to name the more popular ones with new ones propagating faster than earthworms in summer. The bad guys are constantly creating nasties to invade the good guys' systems which many owners are not even aware of. I was recently called to aid a nervous friend who had no idea whatsoever what was happening to her system. She had recently subscribed to broadband (and I won't mention ComCast by name) and the tech had installed everything by the book. Yes, by the book, except he did not inform her she need a current antivirus, antispyware or firewall to protect her investment. My diagnostics found and removed 1,263 pieces of spyware, 8 viruses, 4 trojans and 6 worms which fortunately had done no permanent damage to the unit. She was encouraged to contact that company I won't disclose (ComCast), but probably didn't since chances are no responsibility would have been taken. Also, this company doesn't offer any free security software for subscribers like Cox Communications does. So it goes.
The first step in diagnosing any problem regarding WARE (weasily and rascally entry) is to closely examine your computer operation. Turn on the unit and then set back to watch the booting up. Here is a checksheet to help you:
1. Turn on your system, set back, relax and watch the advertising show. Quite a show will be displayed if you have sufficient inundated adware (advertising spyware) and you will notice continuous popups. The products displayed are many, but more so is the rapidity of each popup taking up your windows memory as well as bandwidth while dmeonstrating subliminal advertising to the hilt. It is safe to assume you are infested with adware if this occurs, but the products being shown aren't that good. Make one check mark.
2. Lets say you turn on your system and it has difficult booting up. In fact, you have problems entering safemode and mutter to yourself: "damn Microsoft." It may not be Microsoft's entire fault, but a small portion is. Spyware can invade many different portions of your system and be transporting worms or viruses to make your life more exciting as well. Where did they come from, you ask? Probably not from the bar you were hanging at last night nor from the date experienced, but could have came from the email received afterwards; or from that free piece of software you installed; or from just being on the internet. WHAT!!!!! Yup, just by being on the internet.
The internet has changed substantially from years ago. Duhhhhhh!!! A system is at risk these days simply by going on the internet without sufficient protection-nasy bots hang out there testing individual computer protection and zoom onto an unprotected one after sending back sufficient information to bring the equivalent of the red sea spyware to you computer's front door. This may sound exaggerated, but not much since the nastie technology has advanced substantially and for every protection released by a recognized laboratory, a counter-nastie is devised by someone out there to attack it. It can be described as evolutionary to the full extend and is an ever crusading battle for truth, justice and the American way. Where is Superman when you need him?
Back to spyware-plants itself on your computer and sends back information to a server ranging from your marketing habits, sites visited, personal information, etc. It is not a good thing to have on your computer and should be removed as soon as possible.
3. Hijackers-this little devils do exactly what the name implies>hijack your computer and you may not even be aware of it. Hacks come onto your system, look around for personal information like passwords, financial information, telephone numbers, etc., and then proceed to do things like download illegal software onto the harddrive, make numerous phone calls, credit card purchases, etc., while your computer is identified as the one used for all transactions. Normally, they are discovered when the credit card or telephone bill arrives indicating $3000 worth of charges in Singapore and you scream!!; and perhaps when something peculiar happens with the computer like bouncing around or programs not there before. Either way, by then the damage is done and the culprits have skipped out leaving you with the aftermath of perhaps identity theft, numerous long distance and international phone calls, tons of credit card purchases and the need to cry all night long. All you can do is prevent it from even happening again after reporting identity theft to the authorities and Barney.
4. Loggers-these devices are implanted on your system to record and transmit everything you log onto your keyboard. Imagine, everything you key into the system has been transmitted to a server somewhere with the idea of obtaining personal identity such as social security numbers, checkings/saving accounts, and any other preferably financial information that can be gleaned. It's mind boggling!!
5. My new favorite is entitled Child Protection or Surveillance TV...in reality its another device which takes snapshots of your entire harddrive or individual files for transfer to a server located in some unknown place where another computer examines for personal information. Very advanced, very sophisticated and demands a good antispyware with current definitions to find on your system.
6. Malware, also called Riskware, is anything that poses malice or risk to your system. This can range from a latent threat which may lay dormant for awhile and then come forth to deliver a potent virus, worm, logger, or hijacker. It depends upon which form deviousness the programmer had in mind when conceiving or if he or she had been to mass recently. Regardless, they can be identified with a good antispyware and dispatched to nastie heaven in the manurepile of digital bliss.
7. One last latter day creation Phishing. Phishing involves professional looking email from what appears to be your bank, ISP, etc., usually stating they are reorganizing financial information and would like for you to resubmit yours again. NOTTTTTTTT!! Its not the real thing and will go only to a server probably out of country where good use will be made of the information given. New security packages now have developed anti-phishing packages, but the best thing is common sense. REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING:
1. Nothing is free completely.....you will always receive something in the background if download.
2. Never open emails you don't recognize. Opening one is sufficient enough to insure an abundance of spam and possible unleashing of nasties upon your system.
3. Never respond to spam. They take it as consent has been given. Best thing is to simply brand it as junk mail, let your system remove it, or delete it, and then report it to your ISP.
4. Don't be taken in by official looking email that resembles your financial institution, ISP or something similar. It probably isn't and could prove far more devastatin than you can imagine. Ignore all Selective Service Draft Notices.
5. Always beware if downloading something, like software, and it comes in a bundled package. Generally, this is an indication it provides products for you to evaluate which involves spyware. Always go to reputable sites for software.
6. USE COMMON SENSE with everything. Keep you antivirus definitions current; update your antispyware consistently; and be aware of your firewall, keep it current and see what it stops.
7. Check your checkings/saving account statements; any other financial investiments; phone bill; credit card statements, etc., to insure nothing out of the ordinary is happening.
8. Never give a contribution to anyone named Barney who claims to be purple and sings a weird song beginning with "I love you, you love me..." Chances are its not Barney, but someone named Bluto seeking enough scratch to find Popeye for a hit. Don't be fooled.
We now come to the part where a discussion of good antispyware products is necessary. Well, this must be prefaced by determining broadband including DSL or using dialup yet. I heartily recommend the use of a router with NAT for broadband/dsl even if only one computer is used. Secondly, choose a good antivirus, firewall and antispyware. I currently utilize an excellent D-Links router with NAT and two anti-spyware programs, SpySweeper and counterSpy. You can't lose with two antispyware programs, but may have difficulty running two antivirus programs simultaneously, i.e. Norton and McAfee. My system only uses one antivirus, Kaspersky Personal Professional and one firewall, Zone Alarm For Wireless. In total, they all work superbly and provide excellent protection for my needs.
I run a wireless for my laptop and use the same two antispyware programs, Kaspersky Anti-Hacker and Kasperky Personal Professional. Again, the protection is superb and no noticeable problems have been noted since configuring both the desktop and laptop.
Now, do you know enough to go out there and fight the good fight. Probably, but you will learn a great deal in the future as the evolutionary struggle continues. You can always visit sites like McAfee, Symantec, Kasperksy, etc., to view the latest virus/worms/trojans; and there are excellent sites for spam like The Spamhaus Project (www.spamhaus.org) or the following for WARE: www.kephyr.com, www.spyware.guide and www.webroot.com has a wonderful guide entitled Truth About Spyware and Adware. There are also psychiatric/psychological sites if you ever become confused to the point of believing you are one with your computer. Feel free to write the following in Google: whyme, hit enter and wait for the results. Help is on the way and you will find your personality again!!!
Monday, June 20, 2005
Computer Retraining A Must
There are many sentimental possessions which must be evaluated after long ownership for either refurbishing or the dreaded "donate to charity." You have an older computer in you room trembling whenever the "donate" word is mentioned and is carefully calculating the tearjerking story of long and faithful service in spite of your foul-ups. We all come to this point and must evaluate objectively:
1. Can the computer be enhanced further by addition of memory or overdrive processors? Carefully examine the make, model and serial number of your unit to determine feasbility. Go to a site like www.crucial.com to feed in the information just taken to determine availablity of memory and cost factor. This isn't the only place one can go, but will give you a good idea initially of the price range. Maintain a dialogue with your older computer that this isn't the end of the world and no harsh measures are being taken to terminate its life with prejudice. In fact, if you don't already have it, subscribe to cable television and go to a channel like Tech TV for the computer to bond with. It will make your life easier as the unit carefully and delicately takes over the cable provider. You may be rich if the More Mature Unit decides to make a deal with you; if not, find a good Commodore 128.
2. Another option is to check on your aging chip processor to see if it can be upgraded by an overdrive processor. I have used Evergreen in the past and excellent results have been found through their technology. It is beneficial to navigate to their website to ascertain if an overdrive processor is available. The Evergreen website is:
http://www.evertech.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_ID=14&CFID=10343496&CFTOKEN=78977940
There are other companies out there, like PNY, that did make overdrive processors, but their websites would need to be surveyed to determine if processors are still being produced.
Be very careful when saying the word, overdrive processors, for older computers have very acute hearing and get very excited at the prospect of regaining their youth. Their quasi-hormones begin flaring up and before you know it you've got a raging teenager on your hands. Best to keep it quiet until all the facts are in and then sneak the device into the unit while the little beastie is sleeping. Then, upon awakening, the computer can claim divine intervention and sit around glassy eyed instead of romping and stomping like a teenager. On the other hand, the glassy eyed approach may be self-defeating also since I found servers my unit contacted via modem received a sermon prior to full connection. They aren't born televangelists, but aspire to be cybervangelists! Tsk, Tsk.....
3. Finally, you have all your data together, things are looking good and then a decision must be made regarding the type of operating system desired. There are many different routes depending on your memory capability and processor speed. Generally, one should decide which Microsoft operating system would be best since each successive release was more memory intensive than the prior release. This becomes more evident in XP if further MS programs like Office, etc., are added and may jeopardized overall operation. Thus a Senior System, or as mine prefers to be addressed, a More Mature Unit, should be evaluated for an operating system that takes full advantage of its new capability and not one that bends the envelope into distortions thus catapulting the unit into the Twilight Zone.
I have found older operating systems like Windows 98 SE are excellent platforms after all the security packages, etc., have been installed. Not as schnazzy as XP, but outstanding for More Mature Units and will last a long time. Another consideration is, my favorite, SUSE Linux 9.3. SUSE has came a long way in developing a user friendly GUI and software availability now is outstanding! Secondly, this operating system can literally whiz along on 16MB of memory that would stymy Windows into slowness like oil in 5 below zero temperature. I use a carriage system interchangng harddrives between XP and Linux 9.2 with 768MB Ram. Linux gives me no difficulty other than learning a slightly different way of thinking and operation; but that can be overcome with concentration. Its a consideration for some of you who want the best in these days of least.
Now, a very difficult area to consider>how to advise your More Mature Unit you are contemplating placing Linux on the harddrive as an operating system. I would recommend the following: make an audio cassette tape using a completely steel recording unit. Place the unit and prerecorded tape close to the More Mature Unit with an automatic turn-on feature preferably when you are not at home. Activate the recording player and go for a walk, in fact, a very long walk to perhaps Berlin, Paris or Vladivostock. Gaze carefully through your front door window upon return for any evidence of pilfering, contamination or wanton destruction. If nothing is noted, proceed to unlock your front door and quietly enter precluding any conversation to give your position away. Tippy toe to wherever the More Mature Unit is located and casually pop your head into the room and inquire how everything has been the past few days noting the following:
a. Thunderbolts thrown in your direction are a good indication the Linux suggestion has not been fully appreciated. Consider another option fast!!.
b. Overfriendliness by the MMU (More Mature Unit) is automatically suspicious since it may be a precursor to curling your hair or a complete meltdown. Always ascertain if the sincereity is genuine or just another ploy to blow your human mind. Ask the million dollar question right away: "Well, did you find the Linux thing sounded good or do you prefer to remain Microsoft?" Bubbling lava regurgitating from the tower is an excellent indication the MMU is highly agitated and you may want to consider contacting the Fire Department Contamination Cleanup Unit. No need to be overly concerned until their arrival, since prosthetic devices to replace arms or legs are relatively cheap, but avoid costly hosptialization if possible. Conversely, a normal humming is positive and then all one has to determine is which of the processing systems would be best for the MMU. Approach this is a most positive manner and expressly emphasize which would be best....remember, its only a major electrical shock if you choose the wrong one and hair does grow back rapidly. Calmly and with mature voice sound out the name of each operating system to the MMU and give time for adequate response. Disregard the moans, groans and efforts to spread forth an index finger-regard this as a gesture of appreciation! After finding out, you've got a happy machine for a few more years to come.
See how easy it is to convert MMU into happy productive member of society again with the least amount of hair follicles and body parts affected. Be proud of your cerebral approach to this potentially difficult task and impart all the gathered information to a friend who may be confronted with the same dilemma.
Oh, Windows 98 or ME security changes, etc, can be automatically download for installation while the more modern thinking Linux can be installed automatically after hookup to your ISP. Regardless, stroke the MMU with words befitting their age and always remember to appreciate the amount of accumulated wisdom this elder possesses. Be proud and your MMU will be proud with you until a screwup occurs and the the MMU will remind you, in the best grandparent fashion, where your head probably is, isn't, or should be depending on MHZ speed of memory.
1. Can the computer be enhanced further by addition of memory or overdrive processors? Carefully examine the make, model and serial number of your unit to determine feasbility. Go to a site like www.crucial.com to feed in the information just taken to determine availablity of memory and cost factor. This isn't the only place one can go, but will give you a good idea initially of the price range. Maintain a dialogue with your older computer that this isn't the end of the world and no harsh measures are being taken to terminate its life with prejudice. In fact, if you don't already have it, subscribe to cable television and go to a channel like Tech TV for the computer to bond with. It will make your life easier as the unit carefully and delicately takes over the cable provider. You may be rich if the More Mature Unit decides to make a deal with you; if not, find a good Commodore 128.
2. Another option is to check on your aging chip processor to see if it can be upgraded by an overdrive processor. I have used Evergreen in the past and excellent results have been found through their technology. It is beneficial to navigate to their website to ascertain if an overdrive processor is available. The Evergreen website is:
http://www.evertech.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_ID=14&CFID=10343496&CFTOKEN=78977940
There are other companies out there, like PNY, that did make overdrive processors, but their websites would need to be surveyed to determine if processors are still being produced.
Be very careful when saying the word, overdrive processors, for older computers have very acute hearing and get very excited at the prospect of regaining their youth. Their quasi-hormones begin flaring up and before you know it you've got a raging teenager on your hands. Best to keep it quiet until all the facts are in and then sneak the device into the unit while the little beastie is sleeping. Then, upon awakening, the computer can claim divine intervention and sit around glassy eyed instead of romping and stomping like a teenager. On the other hand, the glassy eyed approach may be self-defeating also since I found servers my unit contacted via modem received a sermon prior to full connection. They aren't born televangelists, but aspire to be cybervangelists! Tsk, Tsk.....
3. Finally, you have all your data together, things are looking good and then a decision must be made regarding the type of operating system desired. There are many different routes depending on your memory capability and processor speed. Generally, one should decide which Microsoft operating system would be best since each successive release was more memory intensive than the prior release. This becomes more evident in XP if further MS programs like Office, etc., are added and may jeopardized overall operation. Thus a Senior System, or as mine prefers to be addressed, a More Mature Unit, should be evaluated for an operating system that takes full advantage of its new capability and not one that bends the envelope into distortions thus catapulting the unit into the Twilight Zone.
I have found older operating systems like Windows 98 SE are excellent platforms after all the security packages, etc., have been installed. Not as schnazzy as XP, but outstanding for More Mature Units and will last a long time. Another consideration is, my favorite, SUSE Linux 9.3. SUSE has came a long way in developing a user friendly GUI and software availability now is outstanding! Secondly, this operating system can literally whiz along on 16MB of memory that would stymy Windows into slowness like oil in 5 below zero temperature. I use a carriage system interchangng harddrives between XP and Linux 9.2 with 768MB Ram. Linux gives me no difficulty other than learning a slightly different way of thinking and operation; but that can be overcome with concentration. Its a consideration for some of you who want the best in these days of least.
Now, a very difficult area to consider>how to advise your More Mature Unit you are contemplating placing Linux on the harddrive as an operating system. I would recommend the following: make an audio cassette tape using a completely steel recording unit. Place the unit and prerecorded tape close to the More Mature Unit with an automatic turn-on feature preferably when you are not at home. Activate the recording player and go for a walk, in fact, a very long walk to perhaps Berlin, Paris or Vladivostock. Gaze carefully through your front door window upon return for any evidence of pilfering, contamination or wanton destruction. If nothing is noted, proceed to unlock your front door and quietly enter precluding any conversation to give your position away. Tippy toe to wherever the More Mature Unit is located and casually pop your head into the room and inquire how everything has been the past few days noting the following:
a. Thunderbolts thrown in your direction are a good indication the Linux suggestion has not been fully appreciated. Consider another option fast!!.
b. Overfriendliness by the MMU (More Mature Unit) is automatically suspicious since it may be a precursor to curling your hair or a complete meltdown. Always ascertain if the sincereity is genuine or just another ploy to blow your human mind. Ask the million dollar question right away: "Well, did you find the Linux thing sounded good or do you prefer to remain Microsoft?" Bubbling lava regurgitating from the tower is an excellent indication the MMU is highly agitated and you may want to consider contacting the Fire Department Contamination Cleanup Unit. No need to be overly concerned until their arrival, since prosthetic devices to replace arms or legs are relatively cheap, but avoid costly hosptialization if possible. Conversely, a normal humming is positive and then all one has to determine is which of the processing systems would be best for the MMU. Approach this is a most positive manner and expressly emphasize which would be best....remember, its only a major electrical shock if you choose the wrong one and hair does grow back rapidly. Calmly and with mature voice sound out the name of each operating system to the MMU and give time for adequate response. Disregard the moans, groans and efforts to spread forth an index finger-regard this as a gesture of appreciation! After finding out, you've got a happy machine for a few more years to come.
See how easy it is to convert MMU into happy productive member of society again with the least amount of hair follicles and body parts affected. Be proud of your cerebral approach to this potentially difficult task and impart all the gathered information to a friend who may be confronted with the same dilemma.
Oh, Windows 98 or ME security changes, etc, can be automatically download for installation while the more modern thinking Linux can be installed automatically after hookup to your ISP. Regardless, stroke the MMU with words befitting their age and always remember to appreciate the amount of accumulated wisdom this elder possesses. Be proud and your MMU will be proud with you until a screwup occurs and the the MMU will remind you, in the best grandparent fashion, where your head probably is, isn't, or should be depending on MHZ speed of memory.
Friday, June 17, 2005
MishMash>What I Did For Relief!
There are many wonderful experiences recalled from my central Iowa upbringing. Farm life was an enlightening, yet somewhat naive lifestyle compared to "city life," as anything to do with traffic lights and concrete streets was generally referred to. There were advantages the city possessed missing from most farms or at least from ours, girls, nightlife and the resulting experiences. This is not to say farmlife was not instructive, but urban dwellers were a bit more progressive. My teenage years were in the early 1960s and I was eager for knowledge not strictly from books. This was time of dissension and violence to many, but to me it was a period of spreading my wings towards perceived adulthood-the mythical age of 21 (cars, credit, alcohol>whatever that tasted like) and yipee!); and have I mentioned, learning more about the opposite sex during balmy summer nights?
One beautiful summer evening in 1964, my friends and I left our farms to cruise the nearby Marshalltown city loop in search of a seemingly rare species-young ladies desirous of our company. Bob was the quiet one, but prone to sudden creativity fits much to our chagrin since many were implemented while the car was moving. Denny was and still is the Dick Van Dyke act-and-look-alike whose best moving vehicle act was singing the song, Supercalifragilisticexpealidotious, complete with dance from the hit movie, Mary Poppins. It was always a treat to see him spring into action the moment anyone remotely suggested a little excitement was needed. Dick, my cousin, acted like the absentminded professor, but possessed a mind like a steel trap. He was always eager to utilize his mental agility in a variety of ways, normally culminating in some type of practical joke. Round out the group was myself, whose innocence is beyond reproach pending further analysis. So there we were, four so strong, in a 1957 Chevy two-door hardtop, white over blue, draggin main street while simultaneously checking out car occupants no more than five feet away. It was totally awesome to four rural teeens at age 16 and rewarding at times to.
After an hour or so of this maze-running, Dick suggested we pick up a six-pack, the ultimate challenge of the early 1960s teenager. My Uncle Clyde owned a local filling station which provided the height of total exhilaration, Pepsi Cola, ice cold and back to main street we went even more super cool than usual. The leaning out of car windows, pounding seats in excitement and emitting various wolf howls brought about inevitable-a pit stop for myself. Being the exquisite gentleman, I announced the earnest need of my body functions and immediately, Denny offered to sing and dance for a donation. Smiling, I declined, but noticed Dick's cheshire grine which have put my antennas on high alert. He was driving a suggested a wonderful place for such a personal activity with privacy to boot. I trusted him as far as I could toss a raging albino Texas longhorn in the middle of a field covered by knee high grass, but could ill afford to ignore Mother Nature's callings much longer.
Since it was after the bewitching hour, 10:00PM, we had to be very careful to avoid to avoid all city police. The streets rolled up in Marshalltown by this hour and local authorities took a special interest in eforcing the curfew. We considered rousting parents out of bed by telephone to claim their curfew-breaking children an abnormality akin to professing the Beatles were from Amarillo, Texas, but police took an odd joy in this form of teen harassment knowing the punishment come at home. Our noble vehicle, a vigilant mounted patrol searching the city-lit darkness for the enforcers while I simultaneously begged, pleaded, cajoled and finally threatened to do the dirty wet deed in the back seat unless a spot was found soon. Dick drove around for a few more minutes until I blustered him to just pull over or else the severest thunderstorm to dat would seem like a spring shower in the back sheet. Again, the mocking grin was not caught, but the others apparently did as he finally stopped in a large parking lot. There was no moon and my only ambition, my life goal, my earnest desire, was to slowly exit the vehice, without jostling, perform the natural function and jump back into the car for more cruising. Those who have held your bladder for any period of time can certainly appreciate my suffering. It is pure hell over each bump, start, stop, acceleration, sudden motion and turn; one curses every drop, every molecule, every atom of liquid drunk and, of course, those who force you to like my three friends who placed a funnel in my mouth to do so. Fate, unfortunately, took another course for me.
Exiting a 1957 Chevy two door hardtop with a distended bladder takes skill, finesse and daring. Dick, the driver and chief suspect, had to lean forward while simultaneously pushing the seat release with his right hand while pulling the seat forward with his left. Then I had to slowly rise in agony, bend over even more in acute pain and take the first step out, deeply upsetting an already rebelling vital organ. It is an art form subsequent generations will hopefully never have to perform unless they have equally cruel inhuman friends. Dick, Denny and Bob were more than helpful in assisting me exit the vehicle which sent a multitude of warning flags up and down in my fuzzy brain. I considered the untimely kindness, but ingnored it in my dire time of painful need. Slowly I walked away from the car approximately ten feet and turned for some reason to look at the trio. They resembled cherubs, smiling from inside the Chevy as if performing a gracious deed for humanity. Standing there in the dark of night, three good friends behind me and finally gaining relief was all I needed.
Oh, what heaven sent joy!!! All was going well then Denny jumped out of the car to begin singing his trademark song with accompanying dance. Bob initiated searchlight procedures with a giant flashlight (allegedly for a missing contact which didn't explain why I was the receipient); and Dick was displaying his musical skill with a car horn rendition of the currently popular Stop In The Name Of Love by The Supremes. Dick finally stopped this somewhat melody after the other two told him they were unable to identify the melody and thus he joined their efforts much to my dismay. Suddenly, they turned the headlights one and Bob caught me completely with the searchlight as I froze with right hand extended around a very personal part of my anatomy. I began praying to a variety of deities to extricate me from this situation in great haste, bu the god ignored my plea typically as suddenly the entire area lit up as bright as day. There I stood, my face a perfect Opie Taylor imitatin, displaying a terrified grin, with right hand still extended around personal member greeting the newfound sun with trepidation.
The sounds of jocularity behind me were matched tendfold by those leaning out their girls' dormitory windows enjoying the free peep show. Dick, in all infinite wisdom and absolute family devotion, had deposited me in a local parochial school girl's dormitory parking lot. At first, I refused to believe hundreds of females were gazing down upon my pitiful plight with absolute glee, but that rapidly change when some were noted with field glasses and telescopes. I was rapidly losing faith in the goodness of womanhood. Never to be one who was inactive, I found myself immovalbe in my current mentioned position with all my thoughts revolving around how would I ever explain this to my Mother who would invariably ask: how did your evening go, son? It was hopeless and my buddies could not be depended upon to keep quiet meaning the whole county would be aware within 15 minutes or so. Woe is me!!
The parking lights went unexpectedly out and then some turned back on again with not as much intensity. My lights blinked to adapt to the darkness and focused on an apparition standing in the doorway fully outlined by an entry light. It was completely black with only a tinge of white surrounding a hidden face, if one existed. I knew this is what society had promised for those caught in vile acts of lawlessness. Crime was not an easy life and here I stood with hand and member still extended as the inspiration of every gothic horror story came slowly down the cement steps towards me. I closed my eyes, whispered "it's only a bad dream," followed by a more emphatic "there's no place like home," and opened my eyes in desperation only when the horrible footsteps were almost upon me. I quickly yelled out, "Niktu, Clod, Barada," but couldn't remember the exact phrase from the Michael Rennie movie. A hand reached out for me and I shuddered in disbelief; too young to die in a Twilight Zone episode or to repeat this time warp over and over again. Forget law school; no fraternity pranks (in utmost innocence, of course); headlines in the Marshalltown Times Republican, "Local Teen Caught With Talleywacker In Hand." My life was going rapidly in front of my eyes, but a silent scream came boiling up from deep within me: "I want to live!!"
The hand touched my shoulder again while I stood transfixed with fear and eyelids painfully shut. If I looked, I would probably turn into a pillar of salt or was it a werewolf? The black shrouded entitiy moved closer to my face and hot breath was felt upon my face smelling of spaghetti overladen with oregano, garlic and parmesan cheese. I attempted to pull away when a voice said: "Why not just put it away and zip it up!." Made sense to me, but this couldn't be so since this line was never used in any horror move ever seen. Stung back to reality, I quickly tucked said member in, zipped up and looked up to catch a woman's smiling face. "This creature of the darkness won't fool me," I told myself with complete knowledge of changelings from The Twilight Zone. She then placed her arm around my shoulder and urged me to relax while we took a little walk. My defenses were wilting as fast as an Eskimo Bar in the hands of a ten year old on a hot summer day. Maybe she was a real nun rushed through my thought channels along with pulsating waves of embarassment, anger and promises of various torture forms towards my three friends. Of course, this acquiesed in the presence of recognized piety and the sister convincingly gave me direction with her stout arm while softly asking if I were Catholic.
"No," I replied quickly hoping for the best with simplicity.
"Too bad," she said actually smiling at me, "you would be ripe for at least five to ten years worth of Hail Marys."
"Who are you?" I stuttered.
"I'm Mother Superior and suspect you are one of the local boys."
"Yes, I am," immediately recognizing that she may not know me. Ah ha, a chance to get out of this unknown yet.
I began laughing nervously wondering if Mother Superior might have pity upon a non-Catholic, but a semi-believer of sorts after this evening prompting her to forego any mention of this incident to anyone, anywhere, anytime, anyhow, shall we say for the next three to four decades. Mother Superior, now the kindest and most generous woman in the world, left me at the sidewalk and pointed down the street where my errant friends still doubling over in humorous ectasy. She told me to take care of myself and added I would be a legend for awhile, but eventually the dorm girls would forget. I shook my head speechless, but almost giddy at the prospect of getting out of this situation without anyone knowing my name. Meekly I thanked her for the kindness and then turned to walk towards the my friends still in the arms of uncontrollable humor.
I was almost at the point of full escape when Mother Superior called out. I turned to face her and she said the words totally engraved in my psyche:
"Give your mother my regards and tell her I will be calling her very very soon to gather some writings."
My meek and humble reply was "yes, Maam. I will."
I could have sworn Mother Superior was stifling a smile as she said it. There were greater concerns, however based upon what she had said being cause for great torment-yikes, back to being a 47 year old pledge. The 1957 Chevy crept up to me, ivory teeth glistening from the windows and offers to appear on the Johnny Carson Show "in hand" from the "three wise men" witin. Any attempt to convey emotions regarding impending doom were met with continued offers of another Pepsi Cola. I gave up completely to my fate.
For several years, I was convinced this dark secret had been kept from my Mother and GrandMother, but this only indicates naive thinking. I returned home shortly after being discharged from the military and during discussion of my future plans, my Mother casually mentioned a conversation had with Mother Superior. I smiled, attempted to change the subject, but then opted to fate my destiny. She continued her conversation revolved around a parking lot incident a few years ago. I immediately confessed the whole sordid affair and naturally blamed the other three (it was the post-Nixon era). Both Mothers had apparently shared great laughter over this, but kept it to themselves. The object lesson is simple>parents and grandparents always know and if they don't, by some divine omission, they will find out somehow. It is simply something all children have to come to the full realization of before its too late.
One last thing, to this day whenever there is a need to use the great outdoors, I find myself recalling Mother Superior, respectfully and impulsively looking around in each direction before proceeding.
©C.R.Hovey, 1989,all rights reserved
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
MishMash>And So It Begins
And so the dance of truth begins between the imperial White House and investigators seeking answers to questions few want to give. 31 years ago this same time of year marked the crescendo to another corrupt administration; that of Richard M. Nixon. Both Republicans and Democrats alike were fed up with his criminal acts and a gallant bipartisan group of politicans marched to the White House to feel him out. Nixon rebuffed their overtures, but eventually chose to resign in lieu of formal impeachment proceedings in the Senate. He was later pardoned by followup President Gerry Ford which was viewed by many as an error or prearranged condition for Ford being vice-president. It allowed Nixon time to rehabilitate his image to that of the senior statesman, but he could never fully accomplish the image change due to documents being released from the National Archives which left a permanent blemish on his credibility.
President Bush is experiencing the same dilemma. He just can't seem to get his facts straight prior to emphatic statements and ends up being regarded as either falsifying or addled, whichever is worse is up to the listener. Recently he still clung to the idea, on the Tim Russert Show, that Sadaam had ordered the WMD inspectors out in 2003 when in reality, it was him, the President of the United States, that had accomplished this. Russert was a bit taken back, but had managed to massage Bush all evening since the President's next stop was the Neil Cavuto Show, another brilliant stage production of puppy love to the far right. Regardless, the President does not appear commanding and looks more like the stress of too many shenanigans is starting to get to him.
Another recent revelation emanating from Downing Street has caused the White House spinmasters to work overtime. This particular document included a sticky legal problem Downing Street had to deal with since "America is set upon a war." The problem was how to enter the war in lieu of signed treaties and obligations. Obviously, Bush had already been regarded as disposed to war in lieu of diplomatic overtures, but England was having reservations since her position is not quite as flippant as Bush's. The main portion, however, dealt with the United States have no viable post-war Iraq plan and that equally concerned the British policymakers. Winning the war is one thing, but the second war is reconstruction commensurate with soliciting the hearts and minds of Iraqis, in this case. No studies had been committed nor special units organized to consider the various possibilites and dilemmas. This by itself is enough to give a General gray hair and elevate the blood pressures, but the President wanted his war regardless of the consequences.
It would appear George W. Bush Jr. has been expecting a comeuppance expected for quite awhile. He has been visibly more nervous, more agitated and has been making a tour of the friendly Fox Network folks who literally schmooze over him. Major bills touted by him are running into difficulty at the same time influential Republicans are backing away from Iraq. Social Security reform has bit the dust and the President has to be considering what his next move with be since the Terry Schiavo backlash will be intensifying after the release of her autopsy results today indicating persistent vegitative state, blindness, half of a normal brain and no abuse found. A grave strategic error by Bush compounded by the House voting today to limit the Patriot Act substantially. The President is finally realizing a comeuppance is near since he never fully explains any of his policy nor allows substantial questioning to occur. There are too many questions lately that Bush refuses to field and he often has to be bailed out when doing so, ala Prime Minster Blair saving him on the Iraq question during their joint press conference.
The time for this administration to come honest, if possible, is overdue. Millions have been wasted on corporate handouts during this war even when the contractor was somewhat dishonest with their books. Halliburton was awarded two bonuses worth $9 million and $12 million for a job well done while auditors are still poring over their mistake ridden books and investigators are seeking anwers to suitcases given to contractors full of green back dollars. There's something rotten in D.C. and it isn't the vegetables decomposing in the alley. Its time to call many in front of a select committe and have both Bush and Cheney testify under oath separately instead of the Bobbsey Twin routine accomplished prior at the 911 commission.
Americans dead now count up to 1705 and there will be more unless the truth to this matter comes out. There will be more Americans suffering from budget cutbacks with that saved money going god knows where or to whom for what. Shades of Nixon return again.
Its true, Nixon is tan, rested and ready for action. He is alive and well counseling in the White House to drones who obey every command. Now, don't mention that word constitution since it sends shivers down their collective weak spines. It is sadly and slowly coming to an end, but not soon enough for those who have died. For that alone, President Bush should be forced to walk Arlington National Cemetery four times daily and talk with families of those lost.
President Bush is experiencing the same dilemma. He just can't seem to get his facts straight prior to emphatic statements and ends up being regarded as either falsifying or addled, whichever is worse is up to the listener. Recently he still clung to the idea, on the Tim Russert Show, that Sadaam had ordered the WMD inspectors out in 2003 when in reality, it was him, the President of the United States, that had accomplished this. Russert was a bit taken back, but had managed to massage Bush all evening since the President's next stop was the Neil Cavuto Show, another brilliant stage production of puppy love to the far right. Regardless, the President does not appear commanding and looks more like the stress of too many shenanigans is starting to get to him.
Another recent revelation emanating from Downing Street has caused the White House spinmasters to work overtime. This particular document included a sticky legal problem Downing Street had to deal with since "America is set upon a war." The problem was how to enter the war in lieu of signed treaties and obligations. Obviously, Bush had already been regarded as disposed to war in lieu of diplomatic overtures, but England was having reservations since her position is not quite as flippant as Bush's. The main portion, however, dealt with the United States have no viable post-war Iraq plan and that equally concerned the British policymakers. Winning the war is one thing, but the second war is reconstruction commensurate with soliciting the hearts and minds of Iraqis, in this case. No studies had been committed nor special units organized to consider the various possibilites and dilemmas. This by itself is enough to give a General gray hair and elevate the blood pressures, but the President wanted his war regardless of the consequences.
It would appear George W. Bush Jr. has been expecting a comeuppance expected for quite awhile. He has been visibly more nervous, more agitated and has been making a tour of the friendly Fox Network folks who literally schmooze over him. Major bills touted by him are running into difficulty at the same time influential Republicans are backing away from Iraq. Social Security reform has bit the dust and the President has to be considering what his next move with be since the Terry Schiavo backlash will be intensifying after the release of her autopsy results today indicating persistent vegitative state, blindness, half of a normal brain and no abuse found. A grave strategic error by Bush compounded by the House voting today to limit the Patriot Act substantially. The President is finally realizing a comeuppance is near since he never fully explains any of his policy nor allows substantial questioning to occur. There are too many questions lately that Bush refuses to field and he often has to be bailed out when doing so, ala Prime Minster Blair saving him on the Iraq question during their joint press conference.
The time for this administration to come honest, if possible, is overdue. Millions have been wasted on corporate handouts during this war even when the contractor was somewhat dishonest with their books. Halliburton was awarded two bonuses worth $9 million and $12 million for a job well done while auditors are still poring over their mistake ridden books and investigators are seeking anwers to suitcases given to contractors full of green back dollars. There's something rotten in D.C. and it isn't the vegetables decomposing in the alley. Its time to call many in front of a select committe and have both Bush and Cheney testify under oath separately instead of the Bobbsey Twin routine accomplished prior at the 911 commission.
Americans dead now count up to 1705 and there will be more unless the truth to this matter comes out. There will be more Americans suffering from budget cutbacks with that saved money going god knows where or to whom for what. Shades of Nixon return again.
Its true, Nixon is tan, rested and ready for action. He is alive and well counseling in the White House to drones who obey every command. Now, don't mention that word constitution since it sends shivers down their collective weak spines. It is sadly and slowly coming to an end, but not soon enough for those who have died. For that alone, President Bush should be forced to walk Arlington National Cemetery four times daily and talk with families of those lost.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Believe At Your Own Chosen Speed
Sponge Scott McClellan cannot keep up with the latest variations of policy emanating from his own White House. You can't help, but feel sorry for him being placed in a position where he has to continually spin against an increasingly inquisitivepress corps. So let's create a typical news conference with Sponge Scott:
Sponge: Good Morning, I'm Sponge Scott here for another edition of the No Spin Zone.
Press: How do you relate your initial retracted opinions regarding Newsweek stories creating riots and death in the Muslim world with the revelation that magazine had submitted prior copy to the Pentagon for clearance?
Sponge: Well, this is another example of the liberal media telling an outright falsehood which hasn't been substantiated.
Press: Uhhh, it has been with revealed documents...
Sponge: Ohhh, haven't read that....next!
Press: Sponge, how did Jeff Gannon obtain security clearance for White House press conferences when he could not procure the same from Capitol Hill?
Sponge: Isn't the day beautiful? I just love the smell of cherry blossoms in the morning....
Press: Will you respond to the question, please?
Sponge: Jeff was given temporary clearance by someone, somewhere, here or there. After a date or two; whatever!!!
Press: He lobbed you softball questions and then made up to 200 visits to the White House after hours according to Secret Service logs. How did this happen?
Sponge: Next question....(sighhh, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, elbow to his rib)
Press: The number of violent incidents and related military and civilian deaths have been increasing in Iraq yet the President claims the new government has made great strides in security. Is this so?
Sponge: Don't believe everything you read from a press whom we don't fully control yet. Wonderful progress has been made in Iraq. In fact, both Americans and Iraqis can stroll over to McDonald's for a sandwich and then to the golf course for 18 holes without worrying about their personal safety. Its only when you leave the United States and in Iraq that some security issues become apparent.
Press: There is criticism of the President diassembling facts and statistics for his own benefit. How do you answer that?
Sponge: Disassembling is a very harsh phrase. The preferred is creating since he is so spontaneous with his simplistic replies. Why just the other day I inquired about a pay raise and he asked me point blank: do you work for me? I was impressed enough to start a blank paged book to be published.
Press: There are calls for our prisoner camp in Gitmo to be closed due to persistent reports of prisoner abuse. What is the administration viewpoint?
Sponge: Just a moment, let me develop one. Okay, our viewpoint is Gitmo is not a gulag.
Press: Thats fine, but could you please address the question. And by the way, gulag is just another word for prison.
Sponge: The response is simple. There is no mistreatment of individuals who do not possess any rights to begin with and are just Muslims, terrorists all, and never mind!! They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and we snatched them away. And don't be smart hitting me with definitions of former commie words!
Press: Recent court decisions have ordered the administration to release or charge certain prisoners particularly those with US citizenship. How do you justify denying US citizen's rights in light of subsequent court decisions?
Sponge: The judiciary is in a runaway mode right now, but won't be for long. We'll reel those buggers in so fast their ears flap for making these kind of unlawful decisions. Our viewpoint is the court made the decision, now enforce it. If the president says it, its law.
Press: Say that again.
Sponge: Uhhhh, I said if the president says it, its probably not flawed.
Press: That's not what I heard.
Sponge: You've got bad hearing; and probably liberal too.
Sponge: One more question......
Press: We have had numerous wounded during this and prior conflicts, yet the President is insistent about cutting back as well as diverting more Department of Veteran Affairs funding. A Pentagon spokesperson also stated national security is more important than the wounded in response to admitting indadequate funds exist for treatment and compensation. How can that be justified with all the current needs of Servicemembers and Veterans?
Sponge: Its seems readily apparent they wouldn't have been wounded if they had what it really takes to do the job. Only those who wanted to be hurt came away in that condition and why should we reward them for it. It really chafes my non-military serving underwear to spend millions on a group who simply refused to be trained not to accept casualty status. Only right thinking people should be allowed to serve in the military and of course, after signing a waiver of liability.
Press: Does the President agree with this?
Sponge: Agree with it; he simplified and solidified the policy. It went through a strenuous analysis by congressional non-Veteran members for impartiality and came out this way. Isn't it wonderful to have a President that cares. Now, will you all bow your heads in prayer for the great man who leads us not.....in temptation that is.
Sponge: Good Morning, I'm Sponge Scott here for another edition of the No Spin Zone.
Press: How do you relate your initial retracted opinions regarding Newsweek stories creating riots and death in the Muslim world with the revelation that magazine had submitted prior copy to the Pentagon for clearance?
Sponge: Well, this is another example of the liberal media telling an outright falsehood which hasn't been substantiated.
Press: Uhhh, it has been with revealed documents...
Sponge: Ohhh, haven't read that....next!
Press: Sponge, how did Jeff Gannon obtain security clearance for White House press conferences when he could not procure the same from Capitol Hill?
Sponge: Isn't the day beautiful? I just love the smell of cherry blossoms in the morning....
Press: Will you respond to the question, please?
Sponge: Jeff was given temporary clearance by someone, somewhere, here or there. After a date or two; whatever!!!
Press: He lobbed you softball questions and then made up to 200 visits to the White House after hours according to Secret Service logs. How did this happen?
Sponge: Next question....(sighhh, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, elbow to his rib)
Press: The number of violent incidents and related military and civilian deaths have been increasing in Iraq yet the President claims the new government has made great strides in security. Is this so?
Sponge: Don't believe everything you read from a press whom we don't fully control yet. Wonderful progress has been made in Iraq. In fact, both Americans and Iraqis can stroll over to McDonald's for a sandwich and then to the golf course for 18 holes without worrying about their personal safety. Its only when you leave the United States and in Iraq that some security issues become apparent.
Press: There is criticism of the President diassembling facts and statistics for his own benefit. How do you answer that?
Sponge: Disassembling is a very harsh phrase. The preferred is creating since he is so spontaneous with his simplistic replies. Why just the other day I inquired about a pay raise and he asked me point blank: do you work for me? I was impressed enough to start a blank paged book to be published.
Press: There are calls for our prisoner camp in Gitmo to be closed due to persistent reports of prisoner abuse. What is the administration viewpoint?
Sponge: Just a moment, let me develop one. Okay, our viewpoint is Gitmo is not a gulag.
Press: Thats fine, but could you please address the question. And by the way, gulag is just another word for prison.
Sponge: The response is simple. There is no mistreatment of individuals who do not possess any rights to begin with and are just Muslims, terrorists all, and never mind!! They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and we snatched them away. And don't be smart hitting me with definitions of former commie words!
Press: Recent court decisions have ordered the administration to release or charge certain prisoners particularly those with US citizenship. How do you justify denying US citizen's rights in light of subsequent court decisions?
Sponge: The judiciary is in a runaway mode right now, but won't be for long. We'll reel those buggers in so fast their ears flap for making these kind of unlawful decisions. Our viewpoint is the court made the decision, now enforce it. If the president says it, its law.
Press: Say that again.
Sponge: Uhhhh, I said if the president says it, its probably not flawed.
Press: That's not what I heard.
Sponge: You've got bad hearing; and probably liberal too.
Sponge: One more question......
Press: We have had numerous wounded during this and prior conflicts, yet the President is insistent about cutting back as well as diverting more Department of Veteran Affairs funding. A Pentagon spokesperson also stated national security is more important than the wounded in response to admitting indadequate funds exist for treatment and compensation. How can that be justified with all the current needs of Servicemembers and Veterans?
Sponge: Its seems readily apparent they wouldn't have been wounded if they had what it really takes to do the job. Only those who wanted to be hurt came away in that condition and why should we reward them for it. It really chafes my non-military serving underwear to spend millions on a group who simply refused to be trained not to accept casualty status. Only right thinking people should be allowed to serve in the military and of course, after signing a waiver of liability.
Press: Does the President agree with this?
Sponge: Agree with it; he simplified and solidified the policy. It went through a strenuous analysis by congressional non-Veteran members for impartiality and came out this way. Isn't it wonderful to have a President that cares. Now, will you all bow your heads in prayer for the great man who leads us not.....in temptation that is.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Torture Is Another Word For Gulag In Bush Lexicon
Bush's Command of the English Language Is Torture
Our beloved President In A Bubble recently stated it was absurd to label our Gitmo and Abu Ghraib prison facilities gulags. His statement intrigued me since awareness his readings extended into Russian literature past the teletubbies is surprising or perhaps he picked it up from Valentin Putin. Either way, its doubtful he really understands what a gulag is. A gulag is commonly defined as a system of prisons and labor camps especially for political prisoners, in the old Soviet Union or any place or situation regarded as like such a prison. Hmmm, methinks George has got it wrong again. It would seem Abu Ghraib automatically qualifies under this definition with Gitmo not very far behind with recent revelations. Sadly, our President has bit the big wrong once again, but will never admit it. To admit such would risk being called, just like Arnuld says, "a girly man." And George W. Bush is the gosh darn best Maine Texan who can't ride a horse, tell the truth or admit a mistake.
There needs to be a distinction made from legitimate interrogation techniques and perverted cruelty. What was seen at Abu Ghraib was beyond the pale of conventional military doctrine with only the small fry being punished. The military is guided by numerous directives including the rules of land warfare which our leaders have conveniently forgotten. There's no doubt the same occurred at Gitmo according to what the Army finally admitted today. Any time one sees sexual humiliation, among other things, indicates the system has suffered a breakdown and only pathos results. The inability to break someone mentally and resorting to primitive techniques indicates not only a lack of discipline, but overall inability to achieve results through knowledge, skill and guile.
Secondly, its very hard to generalize about doing to "them" what they are doing to us. Who is exactly "them?" According to statements made by the Secretary of Defense and reinforced by the President, "them" are basically anyone in the warzone appearing to be Muslim, who are all terrorists anyway, possessing no rights under signed treaties. The White House and SecDef did a turnaround on this, but the damage had already been done. Convince the average scared undertrained GI the other side, "them" is inhuman and the results. Beware whenever any president relates how much we value life and the other side doesn't.
Bravado comments are a typical kneejack reaction to anyone who doesn't understand the nature of guerrila warfare. Its ugly with no boundaries; unforeseen combat anytime, anywhere, at any moment with a duration of seconds. The US response with conventional military strategy instead of trained counterinsurgency forces is reminiscent of Vietnam. The inevitable result is chaos and wholesale slaughter of innocents and guilty alike>the old "kill them all and let God separate them" syndrome. Troops trained in COIN are the necessary ingredient for any success in Iraq and Afghanistan; not conventional troops who will react as negatively to "search and destroy" as their predecessors did in Vietnam. Send the people trained for the job to do the job; anything else is a disservice to our troops and nation.
Lastly, much is read regarding the validity of torture, but how many of those uttering these remarks have ever seen it? How many have underwent it? My training in the military had a special block where torture was applied in a most realistic fashion to force understanding of what being captured meant. I won't belabor the details, but can relate it wasn't pleasant. Try this...stand against a wall, move back approximately four steps and then place your forehead against the wall. Stay that way for 3, 4 or 5 hours until your head feels like it will explode; all the time constant music or speeches are blaring; a light is constantly on; you stand in your own urine or feces; and interrogators constantly yelling in your ears. This is minor, but chances are many of you couldn't endure much less talk about it later. Your head will ring for days!!!
Finally, torture was used widely in Vietnam beyond the norm ranging from bamboo under the fingernails to the Bell Telephone hour-placing portable telephone electrical wires on the testicles and then ringing which sent a heavy electrical jolt for Uncle Sam. It didn't matter whether they were VC or not, some just enjoyed doing it. GIs are no different from anyone else when placed in uncompromising situations without adequate leadership-they resort to whatever is needed to get the job done regardless. GIs flung ration cans at Vietnamese children since they were "them," not human, inflicting injury and death. Sad, but true and seen by many including my good friend, Shawn, who threw a c-rats can forcing the child to fall under the wheels of a 4X4. He is 100% disabled from PTSD and other afflictions stemming from his Vietnam experiences and still wakes after seeing the child's face in his persistent dreams. An incident 35 years old just happened today to him and many others.
Don't go into a war like Iraq with moral platitudes, place the US on a pedestal, send over those untrained in interrogation, incarceration or even the Geneva Convention, subject them to the rigors of guerilla warfare, place them in no-win positions between CIA-MI-White House-Outsource Operatives with conflicting orders and then expect good things to happen????!!!! This is like sending out half-way trained police officers to get the job done and then turn your backs when the bad happens. And it would. I would expect those of you who glorify this type of unprofessional perverse cruelty to fully support increased DVA hospital funding where many of these young men and women will end up with severe mental afflictions as a result of what they have seen and done. Let us hope they won't be deserted like many have by the DOD and VA in the past. This that to those is already ocurring to those injured physically, but not much is said about that. Supporting the troops is a 100% committment, not just the glory supposed to be with it.
If the current administration wanted the post-war job to be done right, then they would have dispatched the most highly trained, most motivated,educated in Arab language/studies and exceedingly capable people to do the job instead of those given makeshift assignments just to fill a slot. Shoddy leadership seeps downward until theh inevitable result is chaos like the final years of action in Vietnam. Again you have the willing led by incapable doing a job for the ungrateful. They went into battle witout enough water, ammunition, armor, medical supplies and god knows, what else. If you support the troops, demand the very best for them-no substitutes. There is no substitute for leadership and our wonderful servicemembers don't have it. The actions of a few miscreant officers and enlisted unfairly characterize those whose service is honorable. The brave ones are overshadowed by the perverse actions of a few whose superiors develop a coverup inflicting damage to our military, nation and world standing. Please, forget the rhetoric and demand leadership to correct the darkness threatening to envelop us again. Its time for the President and others to get out of the bubble for a good dose of reality.
By the way, if you don't believe our military is in crisis, check on what just happened on the USS Nimitz; and the hazing exerted on naval vessels in the war zone. Its symbolic.....
There needs to be a distinction made from legitimate interrogation techniques and perverted cruelty. What was seen at Abu Ghraib was beyond the pale of conventional military doctrine with only the small fry being punished. The military is guided by numerous directives including the rules of land warfare which our leaders have conveniently forgotten. There's no doubt the same occurred at Gitmo according to what the Army finally admitted today. Any time one sees sexual humiliation, among other things, indicates the system has suffered a breakdown and only pathos results. The inability to break someone mentally and resorting to primitive techniques indicates not only a lack of discipline, but overall inability to achieve results through knowledge, skill and guile.
Secondly, its very hard to generalize about doing to "them" what they are doing to us. Who is exactly "them?" According to statements made by the Secretary of Defense and reinforced by the President, "them" are basically anyone in the warzone appearing to be Muslim, who are all terrorists anyway, possessing no rights under signed treaties. The White House and SecDef did a turnaround on this, but the damage had already been done. Convince the average scared undertrained GI the other side, "them" is inhuman and the results. Beware whenever any president relates how much we value life and the other side doesn't.
Bravado comments are a typical kneejack reaction to anyone who doesn't understand the nature of guerrila warfare. Its ugly with no boundaries; unforeseen combat anytime, anywhere, at any moment with a duration of seconds. The US response with conventional military strategy instead of trained counterinsurgency forces is reminiscent of Vietnam. The inevitable result is chaos and wholesale slaughter of innocents and guilty alike>the old "kill them all and let God separate them" syndrome. Troops trained in COIN are the necessary ingredient for any success in Iraq and Afghanistan; not conventional troops who will react as negatively to "search and destroy" as their predecessors did in Vietnam. Send the people trained for the job to do the job; anything else is a disservice to our troops and nation.
Lastly, much is read regarding the validity of torture, but how many of those uttering these remarks have ever seen it? How many have underwent it? My training in the military had a special block where torture was applied in a most realistic fashion to force understanding of what being captured meant. I won't belabor the details, but can relate it wasn't pleasant. Try this...stand against a wall, move back approximately four steps and then place your forehead against the wall. Stay that way for 3, 4 or 5 hours until your head feels like it will explode; all the time constant music or speeches are blaring; a light is constantly on; you stand in your own urine or feces; and interrogators constantly yelling in your ears. This is minor, but chances are many of you couldn't endure much less talk about it later. Your head will ring for days!!!
Finally, torture was used widely in Vietnam beyond the norm ranging from bamboo under the fingernails to the Bell Telephone hour-placing portable telephone electrical wires on the testicles and then ringing which sent a heavy electrical jolt for Uncle Sam. It didn't matter whether they were VC or not, some just enjoyed doing it. GIs are no different from anyone else when placed in uncompromising situations without adequate leadership-they resort to whatever is needed to get the job done regardless. GIs flung ration cans at Vietnamese children since they were "them," not human, inflicting injury and death. Sad, but true and seen by many including my good friend, Shawn, who threw a c-rats can forcing the child to fall under the wheels of a 4X4. He is 100% disabled from PTSD and other afflictions stemming from his Vietnam experiences and still wakes after seeing the child's face in his persistent dreams. An incident 35 years old just happened today to him and many others.
Don't go into a war like Iraq with moral platitudes, place the US on a pedestal, send over those untrained in interrogation, incarceration or even the Geneva Convention, subject them to the rigors of guerilla warfare, place them in no-win positions between CIA-MI-White House-Outsource Operatives with conflicting orders and then expect good things to happen????!!!! This is like sending out half-way trained police officers to get the job done and then turn your backs when the bad happens. And it would. I would expect those of you who glorify this type of unprofessional perverse cruelty to fully support increased DVA hospital funding where many of these young men and women will end up with severe mental afflictions as a result of what they have seen and done. Let us hope they won't be deserted like many have by the DOD and VA in the past. This that to those is already ocurring to those injured physically, but not much is said about that. Supporting the troops is a 100% committment, not just the glory supposed to be with it.
If the current administration wanted the post-war job to be done right, then they would have dispatched the most highly trained, most motivated,educated in Arab language/studies and exceedingly capable people to do the job instead of those given makeshift assignments just to fill a slot. Shoddy leadership seeps downward until theh inevitable result is chaos like the final years of action in Vietnam. Again you have the willing led by incapable doing a job for the ungrateful. They went into battle witout enough water, ammunition, armor, medical supplies and god knows, what else. If you support the troops, demand the very best for them-no substitutes. There is no substitute for leadership and our wonderful servicemembers don't have it. The actions of a few miscreant officers and enlisted unfairly characterize those whose service is honorable. The brave ones are overshadowed by the perverse actions of a few whose superiors develop a coverup inflicting damage to our military, nation and world standing. Please, forget the rhetoric and demand leadership to correct the darkness threatening to envelop us again. Its time for the President and others to get out of the bubble for a good dose of reality.
By the way, if you don't believe our military is in crisis, check on what just happened on the USS Nimitz; and the hazing exerted on naval vessels in the war zone. Its symbolic.....
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Arnold Ziffel: An Animal For All Seasons
Arnold Ziffel
Jerry Sommers, American producer and writer for Green Acres, a mid 1960's TV sit-com.
"He was a wonderful contrast for Eva Gabor and fun to write for. Eva's an elegant beauty and with Arnold playing with her we got part of the old beauty and the beast identification in a humorous manner. In the show, she treated the pig just like a young boy and the audience loved it."
Jerry Sommers, American producer and writer for Green Acres, a mid 1960's TV sit-com.
Arnold Ziffel, very popular actor from the television series Green Acres went to porker heaven in 1972. He was an immensely intelligent young man who sparred with the best minds in the business and usually won. Then President Richard Nixon was considering appointing him to be Ambassador to the United Nations, but found him too savvy for his ego. Arnold informed the president he had enough oinkers around him already dragging the administration down into the wallow. Arnold told Dick he preferred choosing his own friends rather than yes people. Strong words for a country buff. Nixon attempted to force an IRS audit upon Arnold, but the wily one proclaimed himself a national sovereign duly reporting Tricky Dick to the ASPCA, NRA, FFA, PGA and such. Nixon withdrew swearing retribution, but unfortunately the grim reaper took Ziffel first.
Arnold Ziffel: poet, writer, classical music expert, political scientist, progenitor of Miss Piggy, and wily opponent of those who opposed this great nation. A great purebred American.
Arnold Ziffel: poet, writer, classical music expert, political scientist, progenitor of Miss Piggy, and wily opponent of those who opposed this great nation. A great purebred American.
Rest In Peace
_______________
Along the same vein, President Bubble Boy Bush has announced a 60 day tour of the United States to hawk his Social Insecurity privatization plan; now reduced to a 30 day tour and probably will be cut back again to a one day trip riding his bicycle around the Maryland countryside stopping anyone who appears to care about his message. Hey, Bubble Boy, there are more important issues than lining the pockets of your buds>like Iraq, Afganistanc, affordable medial care, etc.
_______________
Bubble Boy also went on the record blaming the press for Iraqi problems. Seems he feels just when defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, the press would screw it up. No wonder he turned to Jeff Gannon, male escort webmaster and pseudo-journalist, for a welcome ear. Jeff would visit late at night (its twue! according to Secret Service logsheets!), but no one knew who he came to see or when he left. Methinks, as Pogo stated years ago, "we have met the enemy and they is us."
_______________
The Michael Jackson trial has been turned over to the jury, but they wanted to hand it back, call it a day and go home. The presiding judge stated their had to be a verdict forcing the jury to retire for discussion about Michael's umbrella. The Jackson Clan did show in court to show their support for Michael on this last day of deliberations, but did not perform. They left that up to the Jackson fans who were funny enough. Only time will tell whether the jury finds him GUILTY or INNOCENT of being not too bright. Michael Jackson should pack it in if found innocent, divest himself of US holdings and move to France. Get out of Dodge before someone else decides to file another suit. On the other hand, he should contact Martha Stewart if found guilty to discuss the best resort prisons in this nation and particularly how to make millions at the expense of others who lost life savings. Gosh, isn't justice for the rich and famous a stitch??
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Kathie Lee Gifford states she is offended at not being invited back to Regis & Kelly. That's like the Texas Air National Guard being chafed over Bubble Boy wanting to return to finish the 18 missing months in his military obligation. No way; go away and stay with Cody. You too, Bubble Boy!!
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A famous newspaper recently printed a schmucky article about the everyday Deferment Dick and Exotic Lesbian Novel author Lynne Cheney family having a normal evening dinner. Trying their best to be like the Cleaver Family, Ward (Dick) attempted to assert his authority while June (Lynne) acquiesed perpetually to the kids and her husband. Sorry, people, there is enough dysfunction here to make an infinite perpetual energy machine.
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The Navy is making earth shaking important decisions with ramifications around the globe: new uniforms which seem an awful lot like current USMC ones. Further, hours have been devoted to determining the proper attire for physical training-the right shorts, the right shirt equate the right attitude. Wonder why Blackwell isn't taking this into assessment for his critiques? Its important for a military branch to consider all their minor options when so many major ones need to be neglected in absence of positive spin. Where are you when we need you the most, Admiral Zumwalt!!
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Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld is upset which indicates he does have emotions therefore he thinks, there he is, therefore he exists. Not good news for the military community.
_______________
The Department of Veteran Affairs has begun closing down various hospital wards claiming its part of a cost-saving measure. Their reasoning is simple-closure means Vets will not use them thus saving money for overhead, salaries, etc. Gee, that's shrewd thinking at the expense of those of served honorably and at cost of their personal well being. Bubble Boy sez his administration has been very kind and supportive to Vets. Right, and Vlad the Impaler always gave morphine shots to his intended victims. Get a life, George, and come down to wear their shoes for a while. Sorry, forgot he's not a Vet-no federal active duty time-just Air National Guard and off time.
_______________
Finally, Pickles Bush, esteemed First Lady, has created a stir by intimating she may run against former First Lady and current Senator Hillary Clinton. Hmmmmm, that's kind of like her husband, Bubble Boy, giving a lecture on sexually transmitted diseases to a group of nuns. No relevance, no way, no how. Pickles just needs to fess up and just say no when George mutters "no damn gulag in my administrashun!"
_______________
Along the same vein, President Bubble Boy Bush has announced a 60 day tour of the United States to hawk his Social Insecurity privatization plan; now reduced to a 30 day tour and probably will be cut back again to a one day trip riding his bicycle around the Maryland countryside stopping anyone who appears to care about his message. Hey, Bubble Boy, there are more important issues than lining the pockets of your buds>like Iraq, Afganistanc, affordable medial care, etc.
_______________
Bubble Boy also went on the record blaming the press for Iraqi problems. Seems he feels just when defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, the press would screw it up. No wonder he turned to Jeff Gannon, male escort webmaster and pseudo-journalist, for a welcome ear. Jeff would visit late at night (its twue! according to Secret Service logsheets!), but no one knew who he came to see or when he left. Methinks, as Pogo stated years ago, "we have met the enemy and they is us."
_______________
The Michael Jackson trial has been turned over to the jury, but they wanted to hand it back, call it a day and go home. The presiding judge stated their had to be a verdict forcing the jury to retire for discussion about Michael's umbrella. The Jackson Clan did show in court to show their support for Michael on this last day of deliberations, but did not perform. They left that up to the Jackson fans who were funny enough. Only time will tell whether the jury finds him GUILTY or INNOCENT of being not too bright. Michael Jackson should pack it in if found innocent, divest himself of US holdings and move to France. Get out of Dodge before someone else decides to file another suit. On the other hand, he should contact Martha Stewart if found guilty to discuss the best resort prisons in this nation and particularly how to make millions at the expense of others who lost life savings. Gosh, isn't justice for the rich and famous a stitch??
_______________
Kathie Lee Gifford states she is offended at not being invited back to Regis & Kelly. That's like the Texas Air National Guard being chafed over Bubble Boy wanting to return to finish the 18 missing months in his military obligation. No way; go away and stay with Cody. You too, Bubble Boy!!
_______________
A famous newspaper recently printed a schmucky article about the everyday Deferment Dick and Exotic Lesbian Novel author Lynne Cheney family having a normal evening dinner. Trying their best to be like the Cleaver Family, Ward (Dick) attempted to assert his authority while June (Lynne) acquiesed perpetually to the kids and her husband. Sorry, people, there is enough dysfunction here to make an infinite perpetual energy machine.
_______________
The Navy is making earth shaking important decisions with ramifications around the globe: new uniforms which seem an awful lot like current USMC ones. Further, hours have been devoted to determining the proper attire for physical training-the right shorts, the right shirt equate the right attitude. Wonder why Blackwell isn't taking this into assessment for his critiques? Its important for a military branch to consider all their minor options when so many major ones need to be neglected in absence of positive spin. Where are you when we need you the most, Admiral Zumwalt!!
_______________
Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld is upset which indicates he does have emotions therefore he thinks, there he is, therefore he exists. Not good news for the military community.
_______________
The Department of Veteran Affairs has begun closing down various hospital wards claiming its part of a cost-saving measure. Their reasoning is simple-closure means Vets will not use them thus saving money for overhead, salaries, etc. Gee, that's shrewd thinking at the expense of those of served honorably and at cost of their personal well being. Bubble Boy sez his administration has been very kind and supportive to Vets. Right, and Vlad the Impaler always gave morphine shots to his intended victims. Get a life, George, and come down to wear their shoes for a while. Sorry, forgot he's not a Vet-no federal active duty time-just Air National Guard and off time.
_______________
Finally, Pickles Bush, esteemed First Lady, has created a stir by intimating she may run against former First Lady and current Senator Hillary Clinton. Hmmmmm, that's kind of like her husband, Bubble Boy, giving a lecture on sexually transmitted diseases to a group of nuns. No relevance, no way, no how. Pickles just needs to fess up and just say no when George mutters "no damn gulag in my administrashun!"
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