There are many fond memories of my Grandparents from my Iowa farm upbringing. Those recollections are regarded with warmness of days gone by in a different time. My Grandmother was 39 years old for 42 more years and that was all there was to it. One did not ask nor challenge her age since it was not proper and downright dangerous to boot. One time the new county tax assessor committed a drastic error by listing my Grandmother's date of birth and actual AGE on the assessment form. Those prior had simply written 39 in pencil and left it at that, but not this new one who was doing it by the book! She thrust it in front of me to reaffirm what she had read which was quickly done. A few seconds passed before I realized she was already out the door and waiting in the car for me to take her to Marshalltown to straighten this matter out with the "young whippersnapper." Grandma was unusually quiet while going there which is not a good sign. She perked up upon my parking in the county courthouse parking lot and bounded out the car with a fierce abandon while telling me to stay put since it wouldn't take long. She returned a few minutes later with a fire in her eye stating the matter had to be taken up with a higher power which I assumed meant a higher county organ for redress. Days passed and then she received a letter from the County Assessor apologizing for the previous form and promising the "inaccurate" age would never happen again. The letter was read to her and the age listed on the form quickly stated also. She smiled broadly in anticipation of my next question which was who was the higher power. Grandma quickly stated everyone has a mother, who should be respected, but the real power is the Grandmother. My Grandma has simply phoned his Grandmother relaying the troublesome deed thrust upon her by her grandson. Apparently, his Grandmother had made a special courthouse trip to inform the young one this type of behavior would not be tolerated and he had better change his ways. The frustrated assessor quickly consented much less he miss out on wonderful holiday dinners and a letter was quickly dispatched to those offended. Grandmother power is universal!
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Another memory of her is the unique way she would always address anything medically wrong with a woman, including the common cold, as a "female problem." Aunt Doris had a female problem and had to undergo an appendectomy while cousin Carol also had a female problem and gave birth to twins. Her references to male family members were quite different and much more precise. Uncle Clyde had a duodenal ulcer which was related in great detail while preciseness was denoted when another male family member had to have surgery in his private area. Related by my Grandmother, he had surgery to corrected one testicle that was hanging lower than the other one and hopefully it would make him work harder at delivering a grandchild. One day I asked her why she went to such lengths to describe all women's medical issues as female problems while going into such great detail with men. She looked at me, smiled, and proceeded to educate me in the ways of the world. It was gently explained women had to put up with a lot and naturally, had a right to protect their civility whenever possible. Consequently, the right existed to regard any medical issue as private and the same did not exist for men since they lacked gentility. It was her way of saying don't buck the system and you'll be fine. It was a way of giving respect to the ladies for the hard work they did to raise the kids, maintain the farm, etc., which generally was not extolled. Therefore, don't take away a portion of their dignity by making it an issue. I didn't and remained a sparkle in her eye!
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Every rural community had a drunk, floozie, gossip and other erstwhile characters which made up the fabric of that local society. Now, our local gossip lived north on the next farm over and was still trying to get over her husband leaving her for another woman. Of course, the gossip sort of forced her husband to leave with incessant chatter, recriminations and threats which finally did him in to the point where he threw up his hands and said, why not? He left and 15 years later, Evelyn was still complaining. One day she told a whopper to a new beau in her life about something my Grandfather had supposedly said causing him to drive over to our farm. Granddad was in the fields and I had returned to gas up another tractor. I noticed this car pull up and an older man get out of the vehicle. Voices quickly raised and I headed for the house yard immediately just as my Grandmother picked up the broom, never a good sign in anger. The man was calling my Grandfather a variety of names and I made the suggestion he should leave while the going was good. He quickly addressed me in an expletive deletive and before I could address the situation, Grandma was after him with the broom launching direct jousts with occasional upper cuts and crosses. The guy fled in holy fear to his car, but it didn't end there. My Grandmother, all 135 pounds of her 5' frame quickly grabbed a brick and heaved it with such precision it broke his rear car window. I stood in amazement wondering why no professional baseball team had not drafted this amazing talented woman with such a fantastic pitching arm. I went to her and found she was laughing so hard to the point of tears. She said only the acts were regretted, but no one said bad things about her family; only she and Granddad had that right. Besides, this would give the "old heifer" (Evelyn) something to crow about and probably mean weeks of peace from telephone calls.
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Rest in peace, Grandma. I miss you more than you know!!
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Another memory of her is the unique way she would always address anything medically wrong with a woman, including the common cold, as a "female problem." Aunt Doris had a female problem and had to undergo an appendectomy while cousin Carol also had a female problem and gave birth to twins. Her references to male family members were quite different and much more precise. Uncle Clyde had a duodenal ulcer which was related in great detail while preciseness was denoted when another male family member had to have surgery in his private area. Related by my Grandmother, he had surgery to corrected one testicle that was hanging lower than the other one and hopefully it would make him work harder at delivering a grandchild. One day I asked her why she went to such lengths to describe all women's medical issues as female problems while going into such great detail with men. She looked at me, smiled, and proceeded to educate me in the ways of the world. It was gently explained women had to put up with a lot and naturally, had a right to protect their civility whenever possible. Consequently, the right existed to regard any medical issue as private and the same did not exist for men since they lacked gentility. It was her way of saying don't buck the system and you'll be fine. It was a way of giving respect to the ladies for the hard work they did to raise the kids, maintain the farm, etc., which generally was not extolled. Therefore, don't take away a portion of their dignity by making it an issue. I didn't and remained a sparkle in her eye!
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Every rural community had a drunk, floozie, gossip and other erstwhile characters which made up the fabric of that local society. Now, our local gossip lived north on the next farm over and was still trying to get over her husband leaving her for another woman. Of course, the gossip sort of forced her husband to leave with incessant chatter, recriminations and threats which finally did him in to the point where he threw up his hands and said, why not? He left and 15 years later, Evelyn was still complaining. One day she told a whopper to a new beau in her life about something my Grandfather had supposedly said causing him to drive over to our farm. Granddad was in the fields and I had returned to gas up another tractor. I noticed this car pull up and an older man get out of the vehicle. Voices quickly raised and I headed for the house yard immediately just as my Grandmother picked up the broom, never a good sign in anger. The man was calling my Grandfather a variety of names and I made the suggestion he should leave while the going was good. He quickly addressed me in an expletive deletive and before I could address the situation, Grandma was after him with the broom launching direct jousts with occasional upper cuts and crosses. The guy fled in holy fear to his car, but it didn't end there. My Grandmother, all 135 pounds of her 5' frame quickly grabbed a brick and heaved it with such precision it broke his rear car window. I stood in amazement wondering why no professional baseball team had not drafted this amazing talented woman with such a fantastic pitching arm. I went to her and found she was laughing so hard to the point of tears. She said only the acts were regretted, but no one said bad things about her family; only she and Granddad had that right. Besides, this would give the "old heifer" (Evelyn) something to crow about and probably mean weeks of peace from telephone calls.
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Rest in peace, Grandma. I miss you more than you know!!
