Vietnam Service

Vietnam Service
Vietnam Service

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Magic Leaf Parties

Once upon a time in the Land of Oz, brain cell deprived talking heads decided to propagandize the masses by claiming the recently elected Munchkin president was leading them to communism, no socialism, no fascism., no way!! Utter Glen, the more vocal of the fascist chargers, spend long and hard hours trying to convince everyone of the dangers he saw during the day, in his sleep and visions confronting him at night if his meds weren't taken.. Bile Bill could only claim Utter Glen was right and of course, saw the same problems, but in a different light since a recent civil suit resulted in a $15 million payout to a sexually harassed female munchkin. Surreptitious Sean was distraught since he could not think of other ways to twist facts, figures and his own mind to gain more ratings than Bile Bill, ooops, to convince Ozians the peril they were being confronted with.

Thus the Three Pedants were pitched an idea emanating from more powerful beings, the dread Rich Right Wingers, who desired to oust the Great Munchkin President from the Oz Wizard House It was decided to drink more and then challenge the masses to a giant party where the disaffected could feel better through the magic of chemistry and of course, the hallowed Pedants' words. The theme was argued and argued; finally the dread Rich Right Wingers decided it would be called The Magic Leafs Parties after a historical incident years ago where Munchins threw dandelions at the wizard in protest after Dorothy and the Three Amigos revealed the truth about the All Mighty. The Three Pedants were overjoyed and could see their ratings going sky high, but what if the Munchkins masses started thinking. It was agreed this would not occur since most Munchkins had a two week retention rate according to Bile Bill and all smile with glee.

Thus, the Rich Right Wing began spending millions to sponsor Magic Leaf Parties all over Oz for the masses to complain about balderdash and low taxes. Flux News Network quickly forsook any remaining semblance of objectivity and initiated hyping the events as a way for the Munchkins to express their anger. Commercials, talk shows, and even the Wicked Witch pitched in to support the events. The Three Pedants agreed it would be a solid message to the Munchkin President of their anger and despair.....hopefully causing him to fail. Of course, never once did they consider the failure of the president also meant the failure of Oz....but who cares when ratings are involved?

Alas and Alack, the magic day came and went. The Magic Leaf party went down in flames due to the violent ramblings of a few who Flux News chose to show on the air. As in the past presidential election, the Republwicans could not resist making inflammatory statements and the vocal weird inflamed minority spouted very extreme balderdash in return. The Republwican candidates, both supported by the Wicked Witch, did not disclaim the violent statements and were branded. Thus, the Magic Leaf parties suffered the same fate in addition to displaying a short memory span where balderdash and low taxes originated. In fact, one speaker was booed when he placed direct responsibility on the prior president, Boy In A Bubble Bush, for these problems. Of course, this was true, but no one wanted to hear the truth particularly Flux News.

Flux News attempted to create the best spin, but to no avail. The Magic Leaf parties were disasters leaving the Three Pedants holding the bags. Of course, they could blame the president before Bubble Boy, Wee Willie, for the problems, but that was a time reach. Therefore, the best solution was simply to shout of the great liberal Munchkin plot to destroy the people's message. Of course, an argument ensued over what that message was, who was going to pay some of money back, how the ratings would fall and did anyone have anything to drink.

Noticeably absent during all of these deliberations and event was noted extremist, Dilletante Wush Limburger, who was busy searching for his brain. He was very upset the Scarecrow had beaten him to the punch and daily berated him for his political tendencies. It was sad, but Wush was on a woll and could not be stopped, unless more Magic Pills were needed.

Thus it went in the Land of Oz where neocons and Republwicans blend into one and really can't be differentiated from; not even when the vocal violent minority open their mouths and spout insanity. The Three Pedants like this and blame the Munchkin President for their uttering. Most prefer the Three Pedants just go away referably back to their comfortable lifestyle so far removed from current problems most Ozians are experiencing. Wush, meanwhile, is still searching for his brain, but word has it only one can be dispensed by the Wizard. Poor Wush
, he just has to rough it.