Sponge Scott McClellan, Pointer George's press secretary, read an official statement today regarding the unveiling of Deep Throat. The President made a mea culpa earlier in the day by declaring the movie had never been seen nor did he know what it meant. McClellan justified this with all the hard work accomplished by the President taking its toll on his sleep. Apparently, he has been awake for years.
McClellan, still yearning for the light of day, stated the President is happy to hear of the Felt Family announcement and appreciates the bravery it took to come forward. He disputed any cosmic ripples during that time period and added "it only took a good Republican president to calm the raging tides." There were no further questions.
Laura Bush concurred with this statement shortly after returning from Southwest Asia where she touted the women's freedom in Pakistan. Adamant in her proclamation, Ms. Bush refuted arguments women were not free there in spite of having to give up everything after marrying for home and family. She further pointed out her own career aspirations were not forfeited after marriage though as a librarian she hasn't handled books in years nor been in one.
_______________
More documents have surfaced from the British depository attesting to Pointer George and Prime Minster Blair concocting entry into Iraq. One was a map apparently drawn by Bush which could have been interpreted as the Middle East or Europe of Australia or the theater where he saw Deep Throat back in 1973; but the significance was a tic-tac-toe game apparently played by both Bush and Blair to determine who went first. It was won by Bush by a slick line drawn through two Xs and then 90 degrees to another one. Deceptive perhaps, but a nonpluss winner.
_______________
Deferment Dick Cheney, Vice-President, declared his disdain towards those scandalous reports of prisoner abuse in Gitmo. Cheney, appearing on an infomercial, stated his preference for male enhancement tablets compared to those "loose unsubstantiated reports" coming through "liberal pinko groups" who want only to "besmirch our noble efforts somewhere." He further denied any work being accomplished in office other than that approved by 2nd Lady Lynne Cheney in her published lesbian erotic novels. He is a most contrary man indeed.
_______________
Has anyone noticed a similarity between the White House and American Idol.
_______________
Final arguments are coming in the Michael Jackson trial and still the chimp has not been summoned to testify. No faith in the truth!!
_______________
Paris Hilton is engaged. Does it really matter?
_______________
Baa Baa Ann Coulter stated recently Fox News is the most balanced on the air today. Of course, she also believes in truth, justice and the American way under Senator Joseph McCarthy; the Easter Bunny appearing at a Christmas social; and Pointer George never telling a lie. She is a most deluded person.
_______________
If the war in Iraq is going so well, then why aren't National Guardsmen home?
_______________
Would you rather kiss Deferment Dick Cheney or sponsor him in a Jeff Gannon look-a-like contest?
______________
Whatever happened to Arnold Ziffel?
______________
The Supreme Court recently declared truth is an unecessary facet of a democracy since eruditic activity can undermine the economic progress of a government; and stall government contracts; and stymy the trickle up process from corporations; and cause the Halliburton board to become unhappy.
_____________
Finally, an unusual chain of events forced General Motors to admit something. Seems they came out with a new SUV and were showing at various shows on the east coast. Problem was proper federally mandated documents were not displayed on the windows such as component origins. Seems the engine was made in China and GM really didn't want Americans to develop any attitude over this. The fact many autombile industry plants were closed and employees laid off isn't a reason to develop an adverse attitude towards GM building a new manufacturing plant in China to employ thousands. It just means Americans were unwilling to relocate for substandard wages, non-union representation and a totalitarian government. Other than that, what's new.
Vietnam Service
Vietnam Service
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
The Local VA Hospital
©C.R. Hovey, 1974, all rights reserved
I finally went to the local VA Hospital for help. My mind was near the breaking point, sleep was a luxury and most thought my behavior was strange to say the least. I slept on the hard floor and roamed the farm pasture at night spooking our dairy herd-at last they gave more milk! The county sheriff, a family friend, had brought me down from the local city water tower twice in the past 30 days and suggested a check-in with the local VA Hospital would be better than the country clink. I agreed.
"It had to be the war, it had to be the war, it hard to be the war;" I kept repeating this all the way to the VA Hospital. They'll help, God, I know they will. I'm the only one left alive out of my team; 6 dead brothers-2 by suicide in the world and 4 in the Nam. They'll help."
The foyer was well lit and endless amount of staffed desk filled a massive screening room. "Pick a number and be seated" signs were all over the place. Finally, some dismal sounding circus barker massacred my name, but finally I was on my way to someone who could give me some peaceful nights.
This someone was a retired WWII USMC gunnery sergeant who listened patiently while I explained insomnia, dreams, rage outbursts, strange behavior, alientation, detachment, depression and probably all the warning signs of something. His first question was: "Can you prove you were in Nam?" I was astonished and asked exactly what his job was? Found he was a screener, not the messiah who could find some sleep for me. Handed him my discharge certificate, he read, grunted, bitched I had more medals than he did and handed 3000 forms back for me to fill out.
I whipped through the forms rapidly since caffeine always sped me through everything. Then I had to grab another number to see Gunny again which was longer than before. Finally, he was there and the forms were handed over. He quickly reviewed them and said they would be processed and the VA would be in contact within a month. "A month," I said, "a fucking month!" Told him I could be dead within a month at the current rate of events. "I NEED HELP NOW! I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE AFTER SURVIVING OVER THERE, PLEASE!
He smiled, leaned over and blurted: "you goddamn Vietnam Vets...lose the fucking war and then expect to grab at everything for benefits. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL SECURITY! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE SO I CAN HELP REALLY HONORABLE VETS WHO WON THEIR WAR! OKAY!!
If this guy had been a Charley a few months ago, I would have wasted his ass and felt nothing, but this is home, I think. "Okay, sorry about the outburst, I'll wait" was said to him as he smirked at the idea of another victory.
I never heard from the VA Hospital again. Undoubtedly, my paperwork was stashed in the circular container the moment I walked away. The point was clear-everything continued as it did in Nam except this time the real enemy had been defined. Instead of bullets, RPGs, B-40, etc., it was bureaucrats, rules, regs, screeners, bias, prejudice and circular container filing.
I left for Idaho the next day to live in the mountains where my home was for 18 months.
I finally went to the local VA Hospital for help. My mind was near the breaking point, sleep was a luxury and most thought my behavior was strange to say the least. I slept on the hard floor and roamed the farm pasture at night spooking our dairy herd-at last they gave more milk! The county sheriff, a family friend, had brought me down from the local city water tower twice in the past 30 days and suggested a check-in with the local VA Hospital would be better than the country clink. I agreed.
"It had to be the war, it had to be the war, it hard to be the war;" I kept repeating this all the way to the VA Hospital. They'll help, God, I know they will. I'm the only one left alive out of my team; 6 dead brothers-2 by suicide in the world and 4 in the Nam. They'll help."
The foyer was well lit and endless amount of staffed desk filled a massive screening room. "Pick a number and be seated" signs were all over the place. Finally, some dismal sounding circus barker massacred my name, but finally I was on my way to someone who could give me some peaceful nights.
This someone was a retired WWII USMC gunnery sergeant who listened patiently while I explained insomnia, dreams, rage outbursts, strange behavior, alientation, detachment, depression and probably all the warning signs of something. His first question was: "Can you prove you were in Nam?" I was astonished and asked exactly what his job was? Found he was a screener, not the messiah who could find some sleep for me. Handed him my discharge certificate, he read, grunted, bitched I had more medals than he did and handed 3000 forms back for me to fill out.
I whipped through the forms rapidly since caffeine always sped me through everything. Then I had to grab another number to see Gunny again which was longer than before. Finally, he was there and the forms were handed over. He quickly reviewed them and said they would be processed and the VA would be in contact within a month. "A month," I said, "a fucking month!" Told him I could be dead within a month at the current rate of events. "I NEED HELP NOW! I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE AFTER SURVIVING OVER THERE, PLEASE!
He smiled, leaned over and blurted: "you goddamn Vietnam Vets...lose the fucking war and then expect to grab at everything for benefits. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL SECURITY! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE SO I CAN HELP REALLY HONORABLE VETS WHO WON THEIR WAR! OKAY!!
If this guy had been a Charley a few months ago, I would have wasted his ass and felt nothing, but this is home, I think. "Okay, sorry about the outburst, I'll wait" was said to him as he smirked at the idea of another victory.
I never heard from the VA Hospital again. Undoubtedly, my paperwork was stashed in the circular container the moment I walked away. The point was clear-everything continued as it did in Nam except this time the real enemy had been defined. Instead of bullets, RPGs, B-40, etc., it was bureaucrats, rules, regs, screeners, bias, prejudice and circular container filing.
I left for Idaho the next day to live in the mountains where my home was for 18 months.
Memorial Day
Today is Memorial Day. A time to reflect on those who gave their lives in service to this nation. Its a twenty-four hour period which normally finds me hold up in my place, withdrawn, thinking about those friends that died in Vietnam, suicide or later due to lack of adequate VA medical treatment-politics of the living.
This is not a political rant, but rather from the heart as it should be on this day.
Here's my list of some thought of:
Dick Westberg-always remember playing football in the snow with him and his brothers at their home in Marshalltown IA. He died at Rach Kien, SVN, March, 1968.
Harvey Gilbert-friendliest guy in the world working at a Marshalltown grocery store for enough money to go to college. Died in Vietnam.
Darwin Judge-hung with his brother in Marshalltown and was shocked to see he was the last GI to die in Vietnam in 1975.
Darryl Bittner-great guy who worked in the same grocery as Harvey, but decided to do something for his country. Died in Vietnam.
David Rudy-Force Recon who suffered horrendously from Agent Orange. Great smile, but overdosed on Qualude after noticing a rash on his little girl's legs. He survived the Nam, but couldn't deal with her suffering the way he did. She had a normal rash, but he saw what he saw.
Charles Nevin-always smiling, always friendly and a hell of a pilot. Served a tour in Vietnam, survived and died in an aircraft mishap outside Wheelus AB, Libya.
These are, but a few remembered with thoughts just to remind myself their deaths were not to be dwelled upon, but rather to learn from. Memorial Day is a day of remembering, but more so it is a day all of us should forge a way to find peace. A peace that insures no more will have to die for this nation.
Wishful thinking, many of you will say, and unfortunately, there is much credence to that. The Kellog-Briand Treaty of 1928 signed by many nations including the United States outlawed "the crime of war forever." Sadly, it was extinguished by nations seeking to reclaim past glory and established their world position. Outlawing war is easily spoken, but the tendency of humans for domination is more diffcult to comprehend much less dissipate. The search for peace lies not only within a nation, but its citizens who must look within themselves for understand the beautiful and the ugly; view the unvarnished truth about ourselves in relation to everyone else in this world. This is not deemed politically correct in the age we live.
Memorial Day is for the living to contemplate some way to avoid those rows of grave markers seen at Arlington National Cemetery. Very few Veterans met extoll the glory of war, but those who haven't served are caught in a time warp where movies extolling glory still control their impressions. War is ugly. The utter destruction destroys innocence leaving misshapen minds and souls. No one participating in combat returns a whole person, but caught in a struggle between darkness and light. A dream of the past and the present while struggling to create a quality life.
So Dick, Harvey, Darwin, Chuck, Darryl, David, I think of you and so many others that died protecting your buddies and will continue to live as a reminder to others what war is about. Rest in peace and may your premature deaths cause the living to reflect on the nature of our existence still seeing violent hostility as the initial response to international problems.
This is not a political rant, but rather from the heart as it should be on this day.
Here's my list of some thought of:
Dick Westberg-always remember playing football in the snow with him and his brothers at their home in Marshalltown IA. He died at Rach Kien, SVN, March, 1968.
Harvey Gilbert-friendliest guy in the world working at a Marshalltown grocery store for enough money to go to college. Died in Vietnam.
Darwin Judge-hung with his brother in Marshalltown and was shocked to see he was the last GI to die in Vietnam in 1975.
Darryl Bittner-great guy who worked in the same grocery as Harvey, but decided to do something for his country. Died in Vietnam.
David Rudy-Force Recon who suffered horrendously from Agent Orange. Great smile, but overdosed on Qualude after noticing a rash on his little girl's legs. He survived the Nam, but couldn't deal with her suffering the way he did. She had a normal rash, but he saw what he saw.
Charles Nevin-always smiling, always friendly and a hell of a pilot. Served a tour in Vietnam, survived and died in an aircraft mishap outside Wheelus AB, Libya.
These are, but a few remembered with thoughts just to remind myself their deaths were not to be dwelled upon, but rather to learn from. Memorial Day is a day of remembering, but more so it is a day all of us should forge a way to find peace. A peace that insures no more will have to die for this nation.
Wishful thinking, many of you will say, and unfortunately, there is much credence to that. The Kellog-Briand Treaty of 1928 signed by many nations including the United States outlawed "the crime of war forever." Sadly, it was extinguished by nations seeking to reclaim past glory and established their world position. Outlawing war is easily spoken, but the tendency of humans for domination is more diffcult to comprehend much less dissipate. The search for peace lies not only within a nation, but its citizens who must look within themselves for understand the beautiful and the ugly; view the unvarnished truth about ourselves in relation to everyone else in this world. This is not deemed politically correct in the age we live.
Memorial Day is for the living to contemplate some way to avoid those rows of grave markers seen at Arlington National Cemetery. Very few Veterans met extoll the glory of war, but those who haven't served are caught in a time warp where movies extolling glory still control their impressions. War is ugly. The utter destruction destroys innocence leaving misshapen minds and souls. No one participating in combat returns a whole person, but caught in a struggle between darkness and light. A dream of the past and the present while struggling to create a quality life.
So Dick, Harvey, Darwin, Chuck, Darryl, David, I think of you and so many others that died protecting your buddies and will continue to live as a reminder to others what war is about. Rest in peace and may your premature deaths cause the living to reflect on the nature of our existence still seeing violent hostility as the initial response to international problems.
Friday, May 27, 2005
The Real Estate President
So, in my best Irish broque, I say, tell me it isn't so!! The President of the United Stated George W. "Pointer George" Bush is now into real estate. He stated today that billions would be save with the closing of these bases, but was he really honest?
I'm not a financial whiz, but his statement reaks of disbelief. Its like telling someone its all right to have venereal disease when all the pain and suffering is over. It is going to cost millions of dollars to transport troops, logistic and other equipment to new assignment areas. Pointer George didn't tell you that nor did he mention the actual breakdown of cost to accomplish the relocation.
Secondly, ammunition/rocket hauling, etc., is specialized transportation and isn't cheap as well. The government also pays mileage to new assignments for all personnel which is another cost factor and let's not forget the cost of shipping ditty bags on to the next post.
Most importantly, however, there is always collusion to transport important items from the NCO and Officer clubs to the next base. These are vital necessities like the General's nude sculpture in front of the chaplain's office. There will be millions spent just for miscellaneous transportation alone.
It would be wise to contact your local senator or representative to inquire of the total loss to the community as compared to the total amount spent for the military to leave. Secondly, ask for the total cost factor to restablish at the next base and somehow computer a factor for this.
It would be extremely interesting to find statistics like this to show the BRAC committee since no one wanted to talk about the cost of moving down the road>>Walter Reed to Bethesda.
Then we add the total amount saved from closing/realignments and subtract the total outlay for relocation. It should be interesting-then we can have George Bush read it on television from the oval office.
-------------------------------------------
More evidence turned up today of military authorities dissing the Koran. Definitive material depicting a Sergeant throwing a Koran on the floor and grinding it with his boot. Too bad Pointer George wasn't there to watch and then deny the denial with the denial. Regardless, its sick and the enlisted will pay as they always do. SecDOD Rumsfeld issued a statement decrying the actions of a few and I should reply with a letter of censure regarding his creating this tense atmosphere with his infamous all prisoners are terrorists therefore they have no rights BS. He and Pointer George need to answer for their actions before a congressional committee.
---------------------------------------------
The Commander, US Air Force Academy, released a statement of committment towards equality of all religions at that institution. That means all New Age Christians will have to go to the back of the line for two days; and then return to the front where they can minister to Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Gays, Barney, The Teletubbies and Oral Roberts. Its a big disaster due to the Commander, a General, becoming reborn and adding all his aposltyzing messages to everything; and naturally, little lemmings went for to multiply his word. Not a good sign.
--------------------------------------------=-
Hold on to your seat....ready???----Baa Baa Ann Coulter seems to be toning down her drivel. Its twue, Its twue.....I read her last two columns and they were pleasantly mediocre to plasmatic. Wonder if she was instructed to tone down and is merely trying to concentrate on mind altering drugs? Either way, she was go the path of many others to the woodshed for a comeuppance>probably with the ghost of Everett Dirksen.
----------------------------------------------
I have to give Angelina Jolie credit for being a classy lady. Saw her being interviewed by some schmuck named Dr. Dave who asked some pretty crass questions. Ms. Jolie more than held her ground and further elaborated her private life was hers; and no one else's. When ask of Brad Pitt, Ms. Jolie complimented his acting and then asked if there was anything else regarding her good friend. Classsssssyyyyyyy.
----------------------------------------------
Now for the not so classy, Dianna Ross is talking about a music tour again, but can she leave the state due to her DUI convictions. She still has one going in Arizona after boondoggling confinement in Connecticut close to her home. Problem was it was a typical sign in-sign out when you feel like it term which really didn't satisfy the law. Pluse Arizona law requires shrink visits, counseling, AA or similar group and the defendant foots the bill. Oh, Diana, perhaps you and Martha can model ankle bracelets together-come out with a whole new line.
_______________________________________________
Paris Hilton doing a commercial for Wal-Mart!!! Well, they were made for each other..Wal-Mart likes to screw unions and their employees with low wages while Paris just likes to well, uhhhh, party.!!!! There has been a lot of high level flack, however. Get a life, Paris!!
------------------------------------------------
Lastly, Condoleeza Rice was protested against today by a very savy group of people-Code Pink. Approximately 7 entered a hall where Ms. Rice was presented a lecture on fleecing Iraqi Money For More Big Business Ripoff. The Code Pink People slowly down their hoods and presented various live pictures from Abu Ghraib with appropriate litany. They were asked to leave by the police and spent about an hour at the station after being given misdemeanor citations. Ms. Rice, however, was vexed over the living art presented and had to ask several officials what it was supposed to be.
Brain Dead Tests (apnea) should be administered to all high level employees to determine if they are just there for the benefits, the money,.
Next time...
I'm not a financial whiz, but his statement reaks of disbelief. Its like telling someone its all right to have venereal disease when all the pain and suffering is over. It is going to cost millions of dollars to transport troops, logistic and other equipment to new assignment areas. Pointer George didn't tell you that nor did he mention the actual breakdown of cost to accomplish the relocation.
Secondly, ammunition/rocket hauling, etc., is specialized transportation and isn't cheap as well. The government also pays mileage to new assignments for all personnel which is another cost factor and let's not forget the cost of shipping ditty bags on to the next post.
Most importantly, however, there is always collusion to transport important items from the NCO and Officer clubs to the next base. These are vital necessities like the General's nude sculpture in front of the chaplain's office. There will be millions spent just for miscellaneous transportation alone.
It would be wise to contact your local senator or representative to inquire of the total loss to the community as compared to the total amount spent for the military to leave. Secondly, ask for the total cost factor to restablish at the next base and somehow computer a factor for this.
It would be extremely interesting to find statistics like this to show the BRAC committee since no one wanted to talk about the cost of moving down the road>>Walter Reed to Bethesda.
Then we add the total amount saved from closing/realignments and subtract the total outlay for relocation. It should be interesting-then we can have George Bush read it on television from the oval office.
-------------------------------------------
More evidence turned up today of military authorities dissing the Koran. Definitive material depicting a Sergeant throwing a Koran on the floor and grinding it with his boot. Too bad Pointer George wasn't there to watch and then deny the denial with the denial. Regardless, its sick and the enlisted will pay as they always do. SecDOD Rumsfeld issued a statement decrying the actions of a few and I should reply with a letter of censure regarding his creating this tense atmosphere with his infamous all prisoners are terrorists therefore they have no rights BS. He and Pointer George need to answer for their actions before a congressional committee.
---------------------------------------------
The Commander, US Air Force Academy, released a statement of committment towards equality of all religions at that institution. That means all New Age Christians will have to go to the back of the line for two days; and then return to the front where they can minister to Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Gays, Barney, The Teletubbies and Oral Roberts. Its a big disaster due to the Commander, a General, becoming reborn and adding all his aposltyzing messages to everything; and naturally, little lemmings went for to multiply his word. Not a good sign.
--------------------------------------------=-
Hold on to your seat....ready???----Baa Baa Ann Coulter seems to be toning down her drivel. Its twue, Its twue.....I read her last two columns and they were pleasantly mediocre to plasmatic. Wonder if she was instructed to tone down and is merely trying to concentrate on mind altering drugs? Either way, she was go the path of many others to the woodshed for a comeuppance>probably with the ghost of Everett Dirksen.
----------------------------------------------
I have to give Angelina Jolie credit for being a classy lady. Saw her being interviewed by some schmuck named Dr. Dave who asked some pretty crass questions. Ms. Jolie more than held her ground and further elaborated her private life was hers; and no one else's. When ask of Brad Pitt, Ms. Jolie complimented his acting and then asked if there was anything else regarding her good friend. Classsssssyyyyyyy.
----------------------------------------------
Now for the not so classy, Dianna Ross is talking about a music tour again, but can she leave the state due to her DUI convictions. She still has one going in Arizona after boondoggling confinement in Connecticut close to her home. Problem was it was a typical sign in-sign out when you feel like it term which really didn't satisfy the law. Pluse Arizona law requires shrink visits, counseling, AA or similar group and the defendant foots the bill. Oh, Diana, perhaps you and Martha can model ankle bracelets together-come out with a whole new line.
_______________________________________________
Paris Hilton doing a commercial for Wal-Mart!!! Well, they were made for each other..Wal-Mart likes to screw unions and their employees with low wages while Paris just likes to well, uhhhh, party.!!!! There has been a lot of high level flack, however. Get a life, Paris!!
------------------------------------------------
Lastly, Condoleeza Rice was protested against today by a very savy group of people-Code Pink. Approximately 7 entered a hall where Ms. Rice was presented a lecture on fleecing Iraqi Money For More Big Business Ripoff. The Code Pink People slowly down their hoods and presented various live pictures from Abu Ghraib with appropriate litany. They were asked to leave by the police and spent about an hour at the station after being given misdemeanor citations. Ms. Rice, however, was vexed over the living art presented and had to ask several officials what it was supposed to be.
Brain Dead Tests (apnea) should be administered to all high level employees to determine if they are just there for the benefits, the money,.
Next time...
Thursday, May 26, 2005
The Understanding
I spent about 3 years, 9 months, 2 days, 47 minutes and 32 seconds in the service of my country during the Vietnam War. Too many months had been spent in places where killing was regarded as natural as breathing and some had to choose the difference. Good friends, brothers, were lost and I didn't know what for when I returned-that is, my physical being returned, but my mind was still back there. You will find some writings I accomplished on this blog for the next 2-3 days; the first time they have ever been out of the dark box stored in for 30 years or so. A breakthrough, perhaps, or just another form of anger wishing to inform and educate many about the agonies returning from Iraq...
Enjoy the writing and let me know what you think-THANKS!!
_________________________
The Understanding
©2005 C.R. Hovey all rights reserved
Several things were on my mind as I navigated a new Triumph Spitfire beneath snow-filled clouds along a Nebraska intersate highway. This January day in 1970 was gray; weather which most midwesterners learned to be wary of. Fine snow was falling upon the highway and the wind swirled the powder, preventing an impression. Barely visible center stripes flew by while my mind was preoccupied with friends still in the Nam, an Iowa home and Denny Ferris. It had been a long drive from California and now home was so close. A truck stop was up ahead and I pulled in to avoid the inevitable blizzard. Sippping coffee on a cold winter day and being near friendlies was something unaccustomed to after the war zone. I stared out the big window and thought of Tet 68, the farm, Denny Ferris, the summer of 1965 and my own lost innocence.
Central Iowa is beautiful during the spring as the winter meltoff belends into the plush green of early summer. The soft rolling hills, cornfields swaying in tyhe wind and freshly mown alfalfa fragrance revive even the lowest of spirits. Our farm was located in a beautiful valley a mile and a half west of LaMoille and seven miles east of State Center. When you live in a maze of secondary gravel roads, the easiest solution was imply to say you were from Marshalltown, fourteen miles due east of us-it was on the map.
The 1960s are only a memory now, but those days still stand out for many reasons. Two rites of passage were celebrated in 1965-high school graduation from a small Iowa school district; and registering for the military draft. Both were meant to symbolize a transition from adolescent confusion to stabilized adulthood or so the myth went. Neither my eighteenth birthday nor these two rites seemed particularly important until I witnessed the transformatin of Denny Ferris.
My cousin, Dick, lived in nearby Marshalltown and spent a great deal of time at our farm near LaMoille. Occasionally he would bring friends with him on the fourteen mile drive to the farm. On one particular early summer day, a slight built young man sporting wavy brown hair and fiery green eyes stempped out of the 1950 Ford two door sedan. His name was Denny Ferris, and Grandma, as usual made a fuss with both to stay for dinner. She loved to cook for guests and would go out of her way to make people stay-guilt, subtlety, gentle intimidation and her well-known manipulation, "you don't like my cooking" remark-a guaranteed result getter. Denny was a guest and naturally he would stay to peacefully stuff himself. He did and endeared himself forever to my grandmother. He was now no longer an outside, but a bonafide family member-another "stray" Grandma collected, loved and always opened her door to. He spent a great deal of time on our farm before leaving for the US Marine Corps.
Dick and Denny had graduated from Marshalltown High School the year before and I was just finishing at West Marshall in nearby State Center. Both had skirted the draft and Denny had just decided to volunteer for the Marines. The summer of 1965, unknown to me, was his fling at innocence for the last time. Denny lived with an abandon I marveled at. He had style with the ladies, was outgoing and recognized as the perennial jokester. I envied his qualities and wondered if this was what adulthood was really about.
One warm August evening I asked Denny why he was joining the Marines and he said there was a war on and someone had to save the country from boredom! It sounded sensible to me, but then Rocky the Flying Squirrel made more sense than Bob Hope or President Lyndon Baines Johnson. There was this feeling that adulthood was rapidly encroaching upon us and could not be avoided. My draft physical was passed successfully and even a college deferment did not necessarily mean you were safe. Vietnam was invadng my consciousness and I was struggling to understand the meaning of adulthood, responsibility and killing in the military. In my naive innocence, I could not help, but feel Denny was opting for the easy way out.
A fews weeks later I drove him to Des Moines where he had to report to the Armed Forces Entry and Examination Station for military induction. He was quiet while I marveled at the splendor of incoming Indian summer. The change of seasons somewho meant more than I could comprehend-a see change for both of us. His quiet thoughtfulness, Vietnam, the Marines, and coffins coming home seemed to upset my equilibrium. I wasn't particularly talkative either, as even the landscape outside fought to survive the ongoing ravages of cold weather. Denny would look at me and then whistle softly, almost as if he was accept the inevitable. The last few miles went rapidly and finally I was attempting to negotiate the small streets of historic Fort Des Moines. He pointed to an archaic building and said that was the place. Military buildings always seem to be overly neat on the outside to cover the dinginess within. I parked the car in front of the building, got out and went to the passenger side to open the door. What happened next will always be treasured-he was mooning me while doing his best Gomer Pyle impersonation. I told him how ingenious we Americans are in utilizing our abilities in such a short period of time. We laughed so hard, but that didn't change the goodbyes that had to be said. Denny shook my hand, thanked me and walked away doing his best imitation of James Dean. That was how I remembered him in late September, 1965.
Vietnam was now a major concern to me even thought my college plans were solid. I attended Marshalltown Community College during the academic year and witnessed so many contradictions. Draft cards were being burnt at Iowa State University, in nearby Ames, by young men protesting the war while the United States went on the offensive in Vietnam. The draft board check my grades every few weeks, but they were good ensuring my college deferment until summer. Summer months meant days of agonizing while you were 1-1, eligible of induction, until the doors of school opened again. Vietnam was still far away, but beautiful Iowa late summer nights remained. I told myself this, but somehow something had changed or perhaps it was me.
One evening that next summer, 1966, Dick called to tell me Denny Ferris had been discharged from the Marines and was back in town. He had written to us occasionally, but the letters had stopped after a couple of months. Grandma wrung her hands with worry while threatening to "ring his little neck" when he came home. Apparently, Dick said, he had been wounded severely, but seemed to be all right now. There was hesitation in his voice as if he were holding something back. He wanted me to meet both of them in Marshalltown at the nearby drive-in theater, affectionately dubbed as the "passion pit" the next evening. I was excited at the chance to see Denny again, hear about the Corps, the John Wayne stories and be the way we once were. Reality has a way of sidestepping hope at times, or is it the other way around?
Denny was sitting in his old Chevy convertible in the usual spot that next evening near the concession stand, but far enough away for privacy. I pulled up in the row behind him and slowly walked up the incline until I was right beside the Chevy's door. He face was gaunt and that twinkle once in his eyes was strangely absent. He turned, smiled, called me a few choice names in customary tradition to gain a smile from me and then extended an inviation to come in. I noticed the open vodka bottle while walking to the other side, but dismissed it as an earned right of military service.
To this day, I cannot remember the movie on that evening, but recall vividly Denny Ferris. He was slightly drunk and alternated between indifference and caring. At times, Denny was far away and then would come back pleading with me to stay in college to avoid the military. There was so much pain in his eyes that I could not comprehend. There was no use in attempting to discuss Vietnam with him. He would cry, say things I couldn't understand and then suddenly stop as if this were the summer innocence of 65 again. He then looked at me and said he needed some fresh air, a drive on the highway. His last words were someday I would understand as I stood there in the middle of the drive-in watching him back out and away to the main exit. I felt confused and concern for him on one hand while a foreboding for my own future consumed the other half of my thoughts.
That was four years ago and the last time I saw Denny. Now I am sitting in a roadside diner on a snowy day in January, 1970, wondering if I really want to go home. Two years had been spent in Vietnam and now I understand the tears, frustration, agony and gut-wrenching fear-fear not only of the war zone, but of returning to a nation that was hesitant to understand its own war, much less the people sent to fight it.
It didn't take too long to drive home on the interstate and suddenly I was standing in our yard at 2AM. Home after four years of service and two years of killing, dying and lost realities. The below-zero weather made me shiver after being accustomed to the high, humid tropical temperatures. Lower temperatures was not difficult to accept, adjustment would come in time, but I groped for the warmth not only of the body, but of the soul-the glow of dreams and youth left far behind in an Asiatic land. I had come to understand what Denny Ferris had meant.
A few days later I went to Marshalltown to find him. Dick said Denny was around; in fact, numerous friends said he was around, a descrption I wondered might possibly apply to me in a few weeks. Finally, a police office know and respected by my family told me Denny frequented a downtown bar, the Elvo Room, a lot. I walked the few blocks to the bar and stood outside wondering if I should go in. I had numerous instances of self-doubt with people and places once felt welcomed.
I opened the door and walked in. No one really paid any attention to me and the bartender asked what my drink was. Told him a draft in my now at home and worldy wise resonance. Somehow, I do not believe even Wayne Newton would have been impressed. The dim light affected my vision, but as everything came into focus there was Denny Ferris. He was sitting at a round table at the far end of the bar staring into his beer. I paid for the beer and began walking towards him slowly. He paid scant attention until I was only a few feet away and then looked up with the same pain-filled eyes. I looked down at him, reflecting his own sould and he motioned for me to sit.
No words were spoken, at first reminding me of the Fort Des Moines drive years ago, but then he smiled, shook his head in acknowledgement of understanding; somewhere I found a smile to answer. I then knew what he meant and felt so many years ago in that drive-in theater. We spent a lot of time in that spot at the end of the bar over the next few weeks, not really saying much, but it became our haven of understanding from a society gone mad. As time progressed, more people came to join us with the same pain-filled eyes. All remembered their own summers of 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69 and 70. Three months later, Denny Ferris mooned me in the Elbo Room while simultaneously doing his patented Gomer Pyle impersonation and I knew we would both be all right for awhile. Grandma was proud of her boys-her boys were finally coming home.
Enjoy the writing and let me know what you think-THANKS!!
_________________________
The Understanding
©2005 C.R. Hovey all rights reserved
Several things were on my mind as I navigated a new Triumph Spitfire beneath snow-filled clouds along a Nebraska intersate highway. This January day in 1970 was gray; weather which most midwesterners learned to be wary of. Fine snow was falling upon the highway and the wind swirled the powder, preventing an impression. Barely visible center stripes flew by while my mind was preoccupied with friends still in the Nam, an Iowa home and Denny Ferris. It had been a long drive from California and now home was so close. A truck stop was up ahead and I pulled in to avoid the inevitable blizzard. Sippping coffee on a cold winter day and being near friendlies was something unaccustomed to after the war zone. I stared out the big window and thought of Tet 68, the farm, Denny Ferris, the summer of 1965 and my own lost innocence.
Central Iowa is beautiful during the spring as the winter meltoff belends into the plush green of early summer. The soft rolling hills, cornfields swaying in tyhe wind and freshly mown alfalfa fragrance revive even the lowest of spirits. Our farm was located in a beautiful valley a mile and a half west of LaMoille and seven miles east of State Center. When you live in a maze of secondary gravel roads, the easiest solution was imply to say you were from Marshalltown, fourteen miles due east of us-it was on the map.
The 1960s are only a memory now, but those days still stand out for many reasons. Two rites of passage were celebrated in 1965-high school graduation from a small Iowa school district; and registering for the military draft. Both were meant to symbolize a transition from adolescent confusion to stabilized adulthood or so the myth went. Neither my eighteenth birthday nor these two rites seemed particularly important until I witnessed the transformatin of Denny Ferris.
My cousin, Dick, lived in nearby Marshalltown and spent a great deal of time at our farm near LaMoille. Occasionally he would bring friends with him on the fourteen mile drive to the farm. On one particular early summer day, a slight built young man sporting wavy brown hair and fiery green eyes stempped out of the 1950 Ford two door sedan. His name was Denny Ferris, and Grandma, as usual made a fuss with both to stay for dinner. She loved to cook for guests and would go out of her way to make people stay-guilt, subtlety, gentle intimidation and her well-known manipulation, "you don't like my cooking" remark-a guaranteed result getter. Denny was a guest and naturally he would stay to peacefully stuff himself. He did and endeared himself forever to my grandmother. He was now no longer an outside, but a bonafide family member-another "stray" Grandma collected, loved and always opened her door to. He spent a great deal of time on our farm before leaving for the US Marine Corps.
Dick and Denny had graduated from Marshalltown High School the year before and I was just finishing at West Marshall in nearby State Center. Both had skirted the draft and Denny had just decided to volunteer for the Marines. The summer of 1965, unknown to me, was his fling at innocence for the last time. Denny lived with an abandon I marveled at. He had style with the ladies, was outgoing and recognized as the perennial jokester. I envied his qualities and wondered if this was what adulthood was really about.
One warm August evening I asked Denny why he was joining the Marines and he said there was a war on and someone had to save the country from boredom! It sounded sensible to me, but then Rocky the Flying Squirrel made more sense than Bob Hope or President Lyndon Baines Johnson. There was this feeling that adulthood was rapidly encroaching upon us and could not be avoided. My draft physical was passed successfully and even a college deferment did not necessarily mean you were safe. Vietnam was invadng my consciousness and I was struggling to understand the meaning of adulthood, responsibility and killing in the military. In my naive innocence, I could not help, but feel Denny was opting for the easy way out.
A fews weeks later I drove him to Des Moines where he had to report to the Armed Forces Entry and Examination Station for military induction. He was quiet while I marveled at the splendor of incoming Indian summer. The change of seasons somewho meant more than I could comprehend-a see change for both of us. His quiet thoughtfulness, Vietnam, the Marines, and coffins coming home seemed to upset my equilibrium. I wasn't particularly talkative either, as even the landscape outside fought to survive the ongoing ravages of cold weather. Denny would look at me and then whistle softly, almost as if he was accept the inevitable. The last few miles went rapidly and finally I was attempting to negotiate the small streets of historic Fort Des Moines. He pointed to an archaic building and said that was the place. Military buildings always seem to be overly neat on the outside to cover the dinginess within. I parked the car in front of the building, got out and went to the passenger side to open the door. What happened next will always be treasured-he was mooning me while doing his best Gomer Pyle impersonation. I told him how ingenious we Americans are in utilizing our abilities in such a short period of time. We laughed so hard, but that didn't change the goodbyes that had to be said. Denny shook my hand, thanked me and walked away doing his best imitation of James Dean. That was how I remembered him in late September, 1965.
Vietnam was now a major concern to me even thought my college plans were solid. I attended Marshalltown Community College during the academic year and witnessed so many contradictions. Draft cards were being burnt at Iowa State University, in nearby Ames, by young men protesting the war while the United States went on the offensive in Vietnam. The draft board check my grades every few weeks, but they were good ensuring my college deferment until summer. Summer months meant days of agonizing while you were 1-1, eligible of induction, until the doors of school opened again. Vietnam was still far away, but beautiful Iowa late summer nights remained. I told myself this, but somehow something had changed or perhaps it was me.
One evening that next summer, 1966, Dick called to tell me Denny Ferris had been discharged from the Marines and was back in town. He had written to us occasionally, but the letters had stopped after a couple of months. Grandma wrung her hands with worry while threatening to "ring his little neck" when he came home. Apparently, Dick said, he had been wounded severely, but seemed to be all right now. There was hesitation in his voice as if he were holding something back. He wanted me to meet both of them in Marshalltown at the nearby drive-in theater, affectionately dubbed as the "passion pit" the next evening. I was excited at the chance to see Denny again, hear about the Corps, the John Wayne stories and be the way we once were. Reality has a way of sidestepping hope at times, or is it the other way around?
Denny was sitting in his old Chevy convertible in the usual spot that next evening near the concession stand, but far enough away for privacy. I pulled up in the row behind him and slowly walked up the incline until I was right beside the Chevy's door. He face was gaunt and that twinkle once in his eyes was strangely absent. He turned, smiled, called me a few choice names in customary tradition to gain a smile from me and then extended an inviation to come in. I noticed the open vodka bottle while walking to the other side, but dismissed it as an earned right of military service.
To this day, I cannot remember the movie on that evening, but recall vividly Denny Ferris. He was slightly drunk and alternated between indifference and caring. At times, Denny was far away and then would come back pleading with me to stay in college to avoid the military. There was so much pain in his eyes that I could not comprehend. There was no use in attempting to discuss Vietnam with him. He would cry, say things I couldn't understand and then suddenly stop as if this were the summer innocence of 65 again. He then looked at me and said he needed some fresh air, a drive on the highway. His last words were someday I would understand as I stood there in the middle of the drive-in watching him back out and away to the main exit. I felt confused and concern for him on one hand while a foreboding for my own future consumed the other half of my thoughts.
That was four years ago and the last time I saw Denny. Now I am sitting in a roadside diner on a snowy day in January, 1970, wondering if I really want to go home. Two years had been spent in Vietnam and now I understand the tears, frustration, agony and gut-wrenching fear-fear not only of the war zone, but of returning to a nation that was hesitant to understand its own war, much less the people sent to fight it.
It didn't take too long to drive home on the interstate and suddenly I was standing in our yard at 2AM. Home after four years of service and two years of killing, dying and lost realities. The below-zero weather made me shiver after being accustomed to the high, humid tropical temperatures. Lower temperatures was not difficult to accept, adjustment would come in time, but I groped for the warmth not only of the body, but of the soul-the glow of dreams and youth left far behind in an Asiatic land. I had come to understand what Denny Ferris had meant.
A few days later I went to Marshalltown to find him. Dick said Denny was around; in fact, numerous friends said he was around, a descrption I wondered might possibly apply to me in a few weeks. Finally, a police office know and respected by my family told me Denny frequented a downtown bar, the Elvo Room, a lot. I walked the few blocks to the bar and stood outside wondering if I should go in. I had numerous instances of self-doubt with people and places once felt welcomed.
I opened the door and walked in. No one really paid any attention to me and the bartender asked what my drink was. Told him a draft in my now at home and worldy wise resonance. Somehow, I do not believe even Wayne Newton would have been impressed. The dim light affected my vision, but as everything came into focus there was Denny Ferris. He was sitting at a round table at the far end of the bar staring into his beer. I paid for the beer and began walking towards him slowly. He paid scant attention until I was only a few feet away and then looked up with the same pain-filled eyes. I looked down at him, reflecting his own sould and he motioned for me to sit.
No words were spoken, at first reminding me of the Fort Des Moines drive years ago, but then he smiled, shook his head in acknowledgement of understanding; somewhere I found a smile to answer. I then knew what he meant and felt so many years ago in that drive-in theater. We spent a lot of time in that spot at the end of the bar over the next few weeks, not really saying much, but it became our haven of understanding from a society gone mad. As time progressed, more people came to join us with the same pain-filled eyes. All remembered their own summers of 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69 and 70. Three months later, Denny Ferris mooned me in the Elbo Room while simultaneously doing his patented Gomer Pyle impersonation and I knew we would both be all right for awhile. Grandma was proud of her boys-her boys were finally coming home.
MishMash Goes Wild
Recently had the opportunity to converse with a Soldier of God! He was down from the Colorado Springs, Colorado, official headquarters for a few days with some other Soldiers of the Deity looking for new candidates. Fortunately, my college attendance has let to interesting discussions with Holy Hubert, Brother Jed, Sister Disco Cindy and a myriad of others trying to convince us all college womens were whores and guys weren't much better. Of course, if we accept their hands on words, provide money and give each month then life will be better than living in the hedonistic life of pleasure.
My first reaction to this was what a racket, but the entertainment was fun! Brother Jed couldn't get his stories straight since he graduated from high scholl in the early 60s, started college, dropped out and then traveled around the world. Of course, the logical questions posed by yours truly was "why weren't you drafted?". Well, Jed hmmmed and hawwwwed finally stating he would have served his country. I retorted all this was well, but how had he got out of the draft? Further, I related what had been learned from Jed's visits for the 4 years he had appeared and focused the timeline he had provided to him. Jed couldn't really answer since it was obvious he had pull from somewhere that had kept him out of the Selective Service System, but it did deter his ability to call anyone names for awhile. For drama, we would position a disabled Vet near him who would just sit and look. If Jed started to return to the old ways, the Vet would ask about the draft again and mention it was too bad they couldn't trade places. Finally, Jed left with Sister Disco Cindy for newer pastures to spread their word. We waved goodbye as they departed in the new Cadillac wearing Italian suits, silk shirts and nice jewelry. Really miss their word since good bs is hard to find; oops, going to miss a Bush speech.
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A Story copyrighted by me, all rights reserved, 2005 (the legal stuff)
I remember sittng at a hometown bus stop just a few days after returning from Nam. My skin was still an off-yellow from the horse pills, everything caught my attention and too many pounds had been lost since the last home return three years ago.
An elderly woman cautiously sat down beside me on the bench and at first, took only furtive glances. A few moments later, she leaned over and inquired of my health due to obvious appearance. I assured her I was fine and needed only a few months of Grandma's tender loving care and good field work to regain normal vigor.
Not content with that, she doggedly pursued one line of questioning after another I finally interrupted and asked what she really wanted of me?
The woman looked deeply into my troubled eyes and spat out: "your skin color, the nervousness, back from the war, just another doper, ehhhhhh!"
Not content, she continued on, "are you one of those pot smoking, deranged Vietnam Veterans, well??"
"Ma'am, I just came back and only want to get it together again, okay," I passively replied.
She gave me a hard angry stare, those rose with a biblical fury pointng a finger at me emulating a prophet of old. God, she remeinded me of Vietnamese Elders who would do the same each time Americans entered their village. My eyes rilled to the sky as painful memories of death, body bags and friends returned.
"Your type ruin our beautiful country," the matron loudly proclaimed, snapping me back into her reality again.
"Why don't you just leave," the vigilante continued "leave here now and join the rest of your pot smoking friends in Canada."
There were no tears left. I silently stood, gazed at this rock of hollow patriorism and simply walked away. Sounds and memories cling to me as if I am their only friend. I could hear the taunting Vietnamese cacophony as we were leaving their village; and now as I leave THEIR bus stop. It reverberated and found roots in my consciousness.
Where is home today and where can it be tomorrow were the only thoughts in my mind.
I didn't have the heart to tell her on thing. You see, she was the nurse who helped my Mother during those long labor hours eventually bringing me into this world during a raging blizzard on a cold Iowa day. Now, she cast me out with far less difficulty and compassion. The circle had come completely around.
That warm winter day at the bus stop was even chillier after that.
_____________________
Find a time to give your own personal thanks this Memorial Day Weekend to those who gave their lives for this nation.
My first reaction to this was what a racket, but the entertainment was fun! Brother Jed couldn't get his stories straight since he graduated from high scholl in the early 60s, started college, dropped out and then traveled around the world. Of course, the logical questions posed by yours truly was "why weren't you drafted?". Well, Jed hmmmed and hawwwwed finally stating he would have served his country. I retorted all this was well, but how had he got out of the draft? Further, I related what had been learned from Jed's visits for the 4 years he had appeared and focused the timeline he had provided to him. Jed couldn't really answer since it was obvious he had pull from somewhere that had kept him out of the Selective Service System, but it did deter his ability to call anyone names for awhile. For drama, we would position a disabled Vet near him who would just sit and look. If Jed started to return to the old ways, the Vet would ask about the draft again and mention it was too bad they couldn't trade places. Finally, Jed left with Sister Disco Cindy for newer pastures to spread their word. We waved goodbye as they departed in the new Cadillac wearing Italian suits, silk shirts and nice jewelry. Really miss their word since good bs is hard to find; oops, going to miss a Bush speech.
_______________
A Story copyrighted by me, all rights reserved, 2005 (the legal stuff)
I remember sittng at a hometown bus stop just a few days after returning from Nam. My skin was still an off-yellow from the horse pills, everything caught my attention and too many pounds had been lost since the last home return three years ago.
An elderly woman cautiously sat down beside me on the bench and at first, took only furtive glances. A few moments later, she leaned over and inquired of my health due to obvious appearance. I assured her I was fine and needed only a few months of Grandma's tender loving care and good field work to regain normal vigor.
Not content with that, she doggedly pursued one line of questioning after another I finally interrupted and asked what she really wanted of me?
The woman looked deeply into my troubled eyes and spat out: "your skin color, the nervousness, back from the war, just another doper, ehhhhhh!"
Not content, she continued on, "are you one of those pot smoking, deranged Vietnam Veterans, well??"
"Ma'am, I just came back and only want to get it together again, okay," I passively replied.
She gave me a hard angry stare, those rose with a biblical fury pointng a finger at me emulating a prophet of old. God, she remeinded me of Vietnamese Elders who would do the same each time Americans entered their village. My eyes rilled to the sky as painful memories of death, body bags and friends returned.
"Your type ruin our beautiful country," the matron loudly proclaimed, snapping me back into her reality again.
"Why don't you just leave," the vigilante continued "leave here now and join the rest of your pot smoking friends in Canada."
There were no tears left. I silently stood, gazed at this rock of hollow patriorism and simply walked away. Sounds and memories cling to me as if I am their only friend. I could hear the taunting Vietnamese cacophony as we were leaving their village; and now as I leave THEIR bus stop. It reverberated and found roots in my consciousness.
Where is home today and where can it be tomorrow were the only thoughts in my mind.
I didn't have the heart to tell her on thing. You see, she was the nurse who helped my Mother during those long labor hours eventually bringing me into this world during a raging blizzard on a cold Iowa day. Now, she cast me out with far less difficulty and compassion. The circle had come completely around.
That warm winter day at the bus stop was even chillier after that.
_____________________
Find a time to give your own personal thanks this Memorial Day Weekend to those who gave their lives for this nation.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
MISHMASH>Green With Envy
Millions of American children are green with envy over President Bush's method of handling mistakes when caught. They watch him closely and imitate his style of passing the responsibility off, blame the opposing ideology or the press. Its that easy and then if a problem arises, simply attack the Fourth Estate for stating it regardless-accuse of vileness, a lack of patriotism, an agenda or more control is needed. Regardless, these are great role models for our children to follow and learn from the less than great ones. The best was during the debate when the President was asked if he had made any mistakes during his first term and he could not think of a single one. Simply amazing and the youth he impacted with that silence! What a trained generation of Bushites we have coming on board. No need to cite mistakes when you are always right!!!! Nottttttttttttttttttt!!
_________________
Warren Beatty announced he was not going to place his hat in the ring against Arnold Schwarzennegger for the governship of California. Democrats have turned to a proven leadership team more well known than the governor for getting the job done and able to deflect nasties from the opposition: The Teletubbies. Better know, but perhaps the most important factor-better English.
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Brittany Spears is stil pregnant, but her dog is following Kevin Federline.
_______________
Rush Limbaugh is perspiring profusely after Florida authorities announced his medical records will be seized as evidence to prove he is alive. Limbaugh, facing indictment for drug usage, will argue he has been legally dead for years after failing the intellectual apnea test thus any indictment is fruitless. Prosecutors will argue the opposite citing the nearly $10000 spent weekly to buy hillbilly heroin (oxycontin) from his former maid. Limbaugh's former wife lives next door to his palatial estate and is expected to testisfy for the prosecution acknowledging Rush was almost living most of their marriage except where it mattered.
_______________
A recent Gallup Poll indicated only 40% of Americans approve the way President "Pointer George" Bush is handling the Iraq war. George's handlers have told him nearly 80% of Americans approve his handling the conflict and thus he shouldn't be concerned. Of course the President doesn't know the difference since he admitted not reading papers and only watches Desperate Housewives to keep up on current events. 58%, according to the same poll, felt Replubvans in Congress were acting like "small children" and only 31% polled indicated Congress were anything close to "responsible adults." Gotta make you wonder why we pay the people so much money to act irresponsibly!
_______________
The Senate refused to pass a bill to improve Veterans health benefits voting along party lines-Democrats for and Republicans against. Republican thinking was why should the country pay for those injured when they are stupid enough to enlist. The Senate could use large doses of Prozac!
_______________
First Lady Laura Bush was heckled while visiting Jerusalem recently. It had nothing to do with her interrupting a Muslim religious service for a sight seeing tour of the facility. Of course, her hrecklers were both Jewish and Muslim which is the first time they have joined hands politically in years. Once again, the Bushes have successfully unified former foes against the United States.
_______________
The First Daughters have dropped out of sight and mind. Other than that, who cares!
_______________
Tom Cruse is coming out in a new remake of War of the Worlds produced by Steven Spielberg. This production will not center on aliens being subdued by earth germs, but rather on a hot shot former Navy pilot singing in his underwear screaming "give me the money" while moving his hands on a transparent screen plotting dreams during the Oklahoma land grant run after coming over from Ireland during a high school football game in Pennyslvania. It will be a short movie.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are starring in a movie about two covert operators whose jobs are so secret they don't even realize they are married. Nothing new about this plot since it happens every day to couples in America.
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The Halliburton Corporation board meeting was interrupted by demonstrators recently. The hecklers, led by a mysterious bespectacle middle aged man whose first name was Dick and last name Cheney, wanted more honesty and clarification of outgoing funding. Reporters attempting to interview the man called Dick were unable to stop him from applying for a sixth draft deferment nor gain any type of intelligible nor printable comment beyond profanity.
_______________
The Marines found 10,000 flak jackets were defective after sand penetrated the protective kevlar and caused severe rash to a commanding general. All jackets were called in for inspection and combat troops were instructed to do the best they could not to get injured in combat or Oceanside CA.
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Base closures made headlines recently featuring many prominent names in military history: Lackland AFB, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and many more. Not being closed or realigned are plush general quarters near Washington DC nor Dick Cheney's electrical bill paid for by the Navy which he stiffed for months awhile back.
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The Senate has been busy arguing, pouting and faking tears over judicial appointments, but Congress still finds time for very important tasks, i.e. more improved retirement benefits, pay raises and important public relations contracts.
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The Senate found both Democrat and Republican moderates who put together a compromise for voting on judicial nominess and other stipulations. One major stipulation according to an inside source is the President will take diction lessons and learn how to say stip u la tion, nu cle ar, pre si dent, im peach ment, give me the money.
Lessons are being obtained from Laura who recently returned from the Middle East with a flak jacket, Muslim and Jewish curses and shaking her head why they just can't accept Jesus.
_______________
Michael Jackson may get off the hook. His defense did a great job showing what grifter his mother was and how that had rubbed off on the kid. Now the jury has to determine whether the porno magazines and rose red palms in Michael's possession are grounds to convict him for molesting himself. So, far the Chimp has been quiet, but has indicated he can be bought at price.
________________
Speaking of being bought off, the United States Army came under criticism from the parent of former NFL star/Army Ranger Pat Tillman who was killed in Afghanistan. Seems the Army knew all the particulars within a week, but did not change any of the news reports regrading hostile action, etc., until it leaked out. Pat was killed by friendly fire, but his poor parents were not told a thing. The Army is going to award a Silver Star to Pat Tillman not for heroic actions, but for what he would have done. Rest in peace, Pat.
________________
I would also like to apply for medals while serving in Southeast Asia for action I might have taken and believe they are of sufficient standing to merit the Silver Star or Congressional Medal of HOnor. This is meant as no disrespect to Pat Tillman, but is tweaking the Army a bit on this change of policy. There were many incidents in which I could have done more befitting higher medals. Who do I talk to? President Bush, no-he's not a Veterans; VP Cheney-forget it>5 draft deferment and a baby; I'll find someone to hear my stores even though they are classified. I'll probably get another wienie ribbon and a day pass to the local VA hosptial pscyh ward...gee, at least its free room and board for day.
___________________
Your word for the day to look up is AVER. Very important in today's word.
Keep'em flying and remember none of you are safe when Congress is in session.
_________________
Warren Beatty announced he was not going to place his hat in the ring against Arnold Schwarzennegger for the governship of California. Democrats have turned to a proven leadership team more well known than the governor for getting the job done and able to deflect nasties from the opposition: The Teletubbies. Better know, but perhaps the most important factor-better English.
_______________
Brittany Spears is stil pregnant, but her dog is following Kevin Federline.
_______________
Rush Limbaugh is perspiring profusely after Florida authorities announced his medical records will be seized as evidence to prove he is alive. Limbaugh, facing indictment for drug usage, will argue he has been legally dead for years after failing the intellectual apnea test thus any indictment is fruitless. Prosecutors will argue the opposite citing the nearly $10000 spent weekly to buy hillbilly heroin (oxycontin) from his former maid. Limbaugh's former wife lives next door to his palatial estate and is expected to testisfy for the prosecution acknowledging Rush was almost living most of their marriage except where it mattered.
_______________
A recent Gallup Poll indicated only 40% of Americans approve the way President "Pointer George" Bush is handling the Iraq war. George's handlers have told him nearly 80% of Americans approve his handling the conflict and thus he shouldn't be concerned. Of course the President doesn't know the difference since he admitted not reading papers and only watches Desperate Housewives to keep up on current events. 58%, according to the same poll, felt Replubvans in Congress were acting like "small children" and only 31% polled indicated Congress were anything close to "responsible adults." Gotta make you wonder why we pay the people so much money to act irresponsibly!
_______________
The Senate refused to pass a bill to improve Veterans health benefits voting along party lines-Democrats for and Republicans against. Republican thinking was why should the country pay for those injured when they are stupid enough to enlist. The Senate could use large doses of Prozac!
_______________
First Lady Laura Bush was heckled while visiting Jerusalem recently. It had nothing to do with her interrupting a Muslim religious service for a sight seeing tour of the facility. Of course, her hrecklers were both Jewish and Muslim which is the first time they have joined hands politically in years. Once again, the Bushes have successfully unified former foes against the United States.
_______________
The First Daughters have dropped out of sight and mind. Other than that, who cares!
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Tom Cruse is coming out in a new remake of War of the Worlds produced by Steven Spielberg. This production will not center on aliens being subdued by earth germs, but rather on a hot shot former Navy pilot singing in his underwear screaming "give me the money" while moving his hands on a transparent screen plotting dreams during the Oklahoma land grant run after coming over from Ireland during a high school football game in Pennyslvania. It will be a short movie.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are starring in a movie about two covert operators whose jobs are so secret they don't even realize they are married. Nothing new about this plot since it happens every day to couples in America.
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The Halliburton Corporation board meeting was interrupted by demonstrators recently. The hecklers, led by a mysterious bespectacle middle aged man whose first name was Dick and last name Cheney, wanted more honesty and clarification of outgoing funding. Reporters attempting to interview the man called Dick were unable to stop him from applying for a sixth draft deferment nor gain any type of intelligible nor printable comment beyond profanity.
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The Marines found 10,000 flak jackets were defective after sand penetrated the protective kevlar and caused severe rash to a commanding general. All jackets were called in for inspection and combat troops were instructed to do the best they could not to get injured in combat or Oceanside CA.
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Base closures made headlines recently featuring many prominent names in military history: Lackland AFB, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and many more. Not being closed or realigned are plush general quarters near Washington DC nor Dick Cheney's electrical bill paid for by the Navy which he stiffed for months awhile back.
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The Senate has been busy arguing, pouting and faking tears over judicial appointments, but Congress still finds time for very important tasks, i.e. more improved retirement benefits, pay raises and important public relations contracts.
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The Senate found both Democrat and Republican moderates who put together a compromise for voting on judicial nominess and other stipulations. One major stipulation according to an inside source is the President will take diction lessons and learn how to say stip u la tion, nu cle ar, pre si dent, im peach ment, give me the money.
Lessons are being obtained from Laura who recently returned from the Middle East with a flak jacket, Muslim and Jewish curses and shaking her head why they just can't accept Jesus.
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Michael Jackson may get off the hook. His defense did a great job showing what grifter his mother was and how that had rubbed off on the kid. Now the jury has to determine whether the porno magazines and rose red palms in Michael's possession are grounds to convict him for molesting himself. So, far the Chimp has been quiet, but has indicated he can be bought at price.
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Speaking of being bought off, the United States Army came under criticism from the parent of former NFL star/Army Ranger Pat Tillman who was killed in Afghanistan. Seems the Army knew all the particulars within a week, but did not change any of the news reports regrading hostile action, etc., until it leaked out. Pat was killed by friendly fire, but his poor parents were not told a thing. The Army is going to award a Silver Star to Pat Tillman not for heroic actions, but for what he would have done. Rest in peace, Pat.
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I would also like to apply for medals while serving in Southeast Asia for action I might have taken and believe they are of sufficient standing to merit the Silver Star or Congressional Medal of HOnor. This is meant as no disrespect to Pat Tillman, but is tweaking the Army a bit on this change of policy. There were many incidents in which I could have done more befitting higher medals. Who do I talk to? President Bush, no-he's not a Veterans; VP Cheney-forget it>5 draft deferment and a baby; I'll find someone to hear my stores even though they are classified. I'll probably get another wienie ribbon and a day pass to the local VA hosptial pscyh ward...gee, at least its free room and board for day.
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Your word for the day to look up is AVER. Very important in today's word.
Keep'em flying and remember none of you are safe when Congress is in session.
Friday, May 20, 2005
The Coming of The Sith>MisMash
Scott McClellan, White House press secretary, learned a very valuable lesson recently>don't make excuses for your boss when the press honeymoon is over. Mr. McClellan was challenged numerous times while attempting to drive the final nail into [I]Newsweek's[/I] coffin and probably wished Jeff Gannon were still there lobbing softball questions. Alas and alack, he couldn't come up with believable answers to simple questions like why the President was not notified for 47 minutes after the emergency evacuation began; why the sudden White House emphasis on this particular article; and finally, the clincher, why he hadn't read the Downing Street Memo after criticicizing it. From now on, his new nickname is SpongeScott who absorbs all, but seldom is squeezed for a drop of truth.
The Downing Street Memo is finally getting recognition and analysis in the Fourth Estate. Its obvious when you subscribe to cause and effect theory-Faux News viewing is down considerably and O'Reilly is off by nearly 35%. Obviously, the Handlers will have to come up with something big to place their man in the BIG way again-they tried the dead grenade, live grenade routine with no noticeable results. Here's one that wil bee an absolute hit with everyone-President Bush admits an error!!! Its the hit of the season, el gigantica, the lollapalooza, ultimatica and probably won't be belived due to his track record. Oh, well, he can always go back to his honorable discharge from the guard routine.
The White House went after Newsweek for allegedly printing story that caused riots, but did not mention at all a very nasty cartoon appearing the Washington Times which showed a brave American Soldier petting a turbaned dog (Pakistan) holding a Muslim between its teeth with the GI stating "Get Usasma" or something to that effect. Pakistan is very angry, there have been anti-American riots, but nary a word of criticism from George. You see, Sun Myung Moon, convicted felon and self-proclaimed messiah, owns the Washington Times. Moon has put millions into the Bush Campaign coffers, visited the White House for promo shots and even had a party at the Capitol a few weeks ago where he wore a crown, purple cape and looked divine. Various senators bowed before him, or should it be kowtow, for his grace. Lets see, a convicted felon, close to the President, close to senators and representative, big money and very anti-communist. Okay, its all adds up.....its in the money!!!
Arnold Schwarzennegger has been quiet...he's trying to ascertan a way to save California from himself.
The White House has yet to identify the house staffer who was impersonating a Secret Service agent and ordering people out of public forums the President was at. Apparently, some eagle eyes were scoping the bumper stickers and t-shirts to find hints of non-advanced stages of rampant Republicanism, like Democrat or anti-war slogs, and then the staffer would do his best act to throw them out. Problem, however, is its against federal law, a felony, to impersonate an agent and even more so on the basis they were ejected. Honest White House telling dishonest national magazine they made big error when White House cannot admit they made one too with this guy. Sounds logical to me!!
Professional sports are meeting with Congress to hammer out new legislation to abolish steroids. Sports reps, without NFL, are discussing various tactics to stem the flow by comparing cocaine acquisition notes learned from the House Post Office Scandal a few years ago. Undoubtedly, pro sports will gain much wisdom from our erstwhile leaders and perhaps even a workable bill.
Condoleeza Rice make a quick trip to Iraq, donned a flak jacket and then returned home. Good photo op!!
The discredited Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and Justice donned their war paint once more, flew onto the field of illusionary battle fully funded by rich donations, attempted to locate Senator Hillary Clinton, couldn't find where she had crossed into Cambodia or when, and returned to their side swearing to run nasty television commercials instead. Do these guys have a life?
The last Star Wars flic is out, oh my god!!! Generally, good things have been said, although some are already been complaining about the political overtones. Jeeeeeessssssh, next thing you know, some necons will be organizing a boycott citing Sith was written to diss the President. Now that you mentioned it...hmmmmmmmmm.
Are you ready for this? The fab music group, Journey, was scheduled to have a show here. The million dollar question was asked: with or wthout Steve Perry. Answer: without. Nexttttttttttttttt!!!! Very few groups have the continuity to put on a good show without the main or sub main starliners-saw Steffenwolff a few years ago and they were fantastic. John McKay belted them out and his band was ultra fantastic. Styx, however, was not the same without Tommy Shaw or Dennis DeYoung. Also hear Cream is scheduled to hit the circuit again, but wonder if the originals are gonna do it. Wait and see....
O'Reilly announced during a couple of nights ago he had not made a mistake, a single mistake, during 8.5 years of operation. He was then corrected by his guest for foisting a worn out Jane Fonda machination on the audience, but the non-eruditic O'Reilly stood his ground. The next night he admitted he was wrong which bring the exact total to 3 admissions from numerous wrongos. Lets see, he called Senator Boxer a nut and then denied he said it, but admitted the next night he did; called the last Pope senile, but denied he said it, but finally admitted he did; said he grew up in a poor part of Levitttown NY, but in reality didn't since he was the son of a CPA and Physical Therapist. Hey, you don't send three kids to parochial school then O'Reilly off to Marist College and then London School of Economics to avoid the draft without some big bucks.
It has been a close struggle, but the Chinese Government now own more investments in America than Saudi Arabia. Thank you, President Bush and was this why you recently issued a textile tariff on China? Don't tick them off, George, they have billions of our treasury bonds and may call them in!! Why did you authorize sales to the Chinese?
The Foundation for Peace Committe, announced a recent study of the Palestinian National Authority and used a statement from the PNA Finance Secretary who uttered a fantastic figure of $10 Billion is not accounted for. Wonder if its the same bunch that's running the Iraq war for us?
The trial date for Ken Lay, former Enron CEO and now amnesiac, is drawing closer. He'll probably draw a five month sentence in some posh prison like Martha did and then come out richer than when he went in. American style justice for the rich, there oughta be a law....
Speaking of which, remember the pie-in-the-face guy who successfully tagged Ann Coulter in Tucson. Ann complained about this guy not being indicted, but failed to include one small item-neither she or a designated attorney showed up to ID the guy and file the paperwork. So Ann complained again and now the poor schmuck is being reindicted by the scandal ridden Pima County Attorney's Office. Let's make a deal-Ann spends half of his sentence for him to learn something from being inside like what reality is like. If its good enough for Leona and Zsa Zsa, its good enough for Baa Baa Ann.
Does anyone really care if Paris Hilton writes her autobiography? She's already done one about her pet Chihuahua. He wasn't that cute...
Everybody Loves Raymond will be missed...good show, great cast and my love for Patricia Heaton knew no bounds.....ah, the pangs run so deep.
They better not replace it with some stinking reality show like Brittany Spears does her toenails, Ashley Simpson lipsyncs her lipstick, or Michael Jackson's chimp shows tears for his master's non-conviction. Really believe the people who come up with this reality shows have been sucking mobile home hitches for about 6 months and then wander into a medical facility where they're given lifelong prescriptions for prozac and an anti-constipation. The result if a reality show.
Finally, I reacquainted myself with a beautiful woman last night...hadn't see her in quite awhile and she is really something. Managed to twist my tongue and say something closely resembling Russian, I think, before she hit me on the back and asked if it helped. I said, ya,; she said, okay. Go into her Kia and drove away. What's the moral of this story: when you want something, don't be a dumb ass. If you have to be a dumb ass, then at least be cute!!
See ya all next time in the world of MisMash.
The Downing Street Memo is finally getting recognition and analysis in the Fourth Estate. Its obvious when you subscribe to cause and effect theory-Faux News viewing is down considerably and O'Reilly is off by nearly 35%. Obviously, the Handlers will have to come up with something big to place their man in the BIG way again-they tried the dead grenade, live grenade routine with no noticeable results. Here's one that wil bee an absolute hit with everyone-President Bush admits an error!!! Its the hit of the season, el gigantica, the lollapalooza, ultimatica and probably won't be belived due to his track record. Oh, well, he can always go back to his honorable discharge from the guard routine.
The White House went after Newsweek for allegedly printing story that caused riots, but did not mention at all a very nasty cartoon appearing the Washington Times which showed a brave American Soldier petting a turbaned dog (Pakistan) holding a Muslim between its teeth with the GI stating "Get Usasma" or something to that effect. Pakistan is very angry, there have been anti-American riots, but nary a word of criticism from George. You see, Sun Myung Moon, convicted felon and self-proclaimed messiah, owns the Washington Times. Moon has put millions into the Bush Campaign coffers, visited the White House for promo shots and even had a party at the Capitol a few weeks ago where he wore a crown, purple cape and looked divine. Various senators bowed before him, or should it be kowtow, for his grace. Lets see, a convicted felon, close to the President, close to senators and representative, big money and very anti-communist. Okay, its all adds up.....its in the money!!!
Arnold Schwarzennegger has been quiet...he's trying to ascertan a way to save California from himself.
The White House has yet to identify the house staffer who was impersonating a Secret Service agent and ordering people out of public forums the President was at. Apparently, some eagle eyes were scoping the bumper stickers and t-shirts to find hints of non-advanced stages of rampant Republicanism, like Democrat or anti-war slogs, and then the staffer would do his best act to throw them out. Problem, however, is its against federal law, a felony, to impersonate an agent and even more so on the basis they were ejected. Honest White House telling dishonest national magazine they made big error when White House cannot admit they made one too with this guy. Sounds logical to me!!
Professional sports are meeting with Congress to hammer out new legislation to abolish steroids. Sports reps, without NFL, are discussing various tactics to stem the flow by comparing cocaine acquisition notes learned from the House Post Office Scandal a few years ago. Undoubtedly, pro sports will gain much wisdom from our erstwhile leaders and perhaps even a workable bill.
Condoleeza Rice make a quick trip to Iraq, donned a flak jacket and then returned home. Good photo op!!
The discredited Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and Justice donned their war paint once more, flew onto the field of illusionary battle fully funded by rich donations, attempted to locate Senator Hillary Clinton, couldn't find where she had crossed into Cambodia or when, and returned to their side swearing to run nasty television commercials instead. Do these guys have a life?
The last Star Wars flic is out, oh my god!!! Generally, good things have been said, although some are already been complaining about the political overtones. Jeeeeeessssssh, next thing you know, some necons will be organizing a boycott citing Sith was written to diss the President. Now that you mentioned it...hmmmmmmmmm.
Are you ready for this? The fab music group, Journey, was scheduled to have a show here. The million dollar question was asked: with or wthout Steve Perry. Answer: without. Nexttttttttttttttt!!!! Very few groups have the continuity to put on a good show without the main or sub main starliners-saw Steffenwolff a few years ago and they were fantastic. John McKay belted them out and his band was ultra fantastic. Styx, however, was not the same without Tommy Shaw or Dennis DeYoung. Also hear Cream is scheduled to hit the circuit again, but wonder if the originals are gonna do it. Wait and see....
O'Reilly announced during a couple of nights ago he had not made a mistake, a single mistake, during 8.5 years of operation. He was then corrected by his guest for foisting a worn out Jane Fonda machination on the audience, but the non-eruditic O'Reilly stood his ground. The next night he admitted he was wrong which bring the exact total to 3 admissions from numerous wrongos. Lets see, he called Senator Boxer a nut and then denied he said it, but admitted the next night he did; called the last Pope senile, but denied he said it, but finally admitted he did; said he grew up in a poor part of Levitttown NY, but in reality didn't since he was the son of a CPA and Physical Therapist. Hey, you don't send three kids to parochial school then O'Reilly off to Marist College and then London School of Economics to avoid the draft without some big bucks.
It has been a close struggle, but the Chinese Government now own more investments in America than Saudi Arabia. Thank you, President Bush and was this why you recently issued a textile tariff on China? Don't tick them off, George, they have billions of our treasury bonds and may call them in!! Why did you authorize sales to the Chinese?
The Foundation for Peace Committe, announced a recent study of the Palestinian National Authority and used a statement from the PNA Finance Secretary who uttered a fantastic figure of $10 Billion is not accounted for. Wonder if its the same bunch that's running the Iraq war for us?
The trial date for Ken Lay, former Enron CEO and now amnesiac, is drawing closer. He'll probably draw a five month sentence in some posh prison like Martha did and then come out richer than when he went in. American style justice for the rich, there oughta be a law....
Speaking of which, remember the pie-in-the-face guy who successfully tagged Ann Coulter in Tucson. Ann complained about this guy not being indicted, but failed to include one small item-neither she or a designated attorney showed up to ID the guy and file the paperwork. So Ann complained again and now the poor schmuck is being reindicted by the scandal ridden Pima County Attorney's Office. Let's make a deal-Ann spends half of his sentence for him to learn something from being inside like what reality is like. If its good enough for Leona and Zsa Zsa, its good enough for Baa Baa Ann.
Does anyone really care if Paris Hilton writes her autobiography? She's already done one about her pet Chihuahua. He wasn't that cute...
Everybody Loves Raymond will be missed...good show, great cast and my love for Patricia Heaton knew no bounds.....ah, the pangs run so deep.
They better not replace it with some stinking reality show like Brittany Spears does her toenails, Ashley Simpson lipsyncs her lipstick, or Michael Jackson's chimp shows tears for his master's non-conviction. Really believe the people who come up with this reality shows have been sucking mobile home hitches for about 6 months and then wander into a medical facility where they're given lifelong prescriptions for prozac and an anti-constipation. The result if a reality show.
Finally, I reacquainted myself with a beautiful woman last night...hadn't see her in quite awhile and she is really something. Managed to twist my tongue and say something closely resembling Russian, I think, before she hit me on the back and asked if it helped. I said, ya,; she said, okay. Go into her Kia and drove away. What's the moral of this story: when you want something, don't be a dumb ass. If you have to be a dumb ass, then at least be cute!!
See ya all next time in the world of MisMash.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Errors Compounded
Inevitably, the unavoidable and equally unpleasant task(s) of admitting error happens during our life. Doing so, according to my upbringing, contributes to wisdom and cleanses the conscience. There are others, however, who equate mistake admission as lessening manliness and is to be avoided at all costs. Paraphrasing Richard Nixon, former president, who once stated the commission of a crime is not as bad as being caught. He, of course, was caught and was forced to resign the presidency leaving a tumultuous legacy behind by never admitting wrong. If there was no wrong, then why resign the highest office in the land? Simply, the best defense is an active offense and released documents over time have shown the dark side of this former president’s disregard of the law and people. His attitude and many after him can be summed up by another Nixon statement where he stated it’s not against the law if a president states it.
The military has a unique way of correction by use of the phrase "as you were." This suspends reality, judgment and time while the originator delivers a dictate to be believed now. Consequently, even the most outrageous can be corrected by merely saying, "as you were," and then stating whatever necessary to correct/deny the moment. This belief has more credence in our society than most admit in these days of eclectic morality, veracity and values.
Newsweek admitted they may have, as you were, could have, as you were, might have, as you were, should not have placed all of their credibility into one source after severe White House criticism. The White House, however, is contracted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who states the new story did not influence Moslem opinion as much as internal political instability did. Scott McClellan, White House press secretary, avers the national magazine is to blame, but doesn’t comment on the General’s statement. Reporters challenge McClellan who resorts to emotional appeal, always believe your president and implies government should have more control over the press. Ironically, several other news sources had reported severe abuse including Koran desecration by US military personnel in numerous locations since the conflict broke out. It’s not a new story by any means nor is white House interference in the Fourth Estate. The President, unfortunately has run out of "as you were" uses. Wasn't a single source problem the same issue the White House used to justify invading Iraq as was later disclosed? And then the on again, off again administration relationship with Chalabi....
White House diversion from breaking stories is interesting since you have to focus on what is not meant to see what is intended. In this case, the publishing of a Times of London story, May 2, 2005, which prints a classified memo citing President Bush and Prime Minister Blair planning the future Iraqi war a year before hostilities began. Plots were devised, intelligence fixed upon, policy conceived and, according to the memo, an American President ordaining military action prior to the actual event. It has received full play in the international press, but not in our Fourth Estate.
Has the Fourth Estate admitted a grievous error by not covering this breaking issue in depth? Indeed so since the press upholds a public trust seriously damaged in recent years by governmental payoffs and corporate influence. There was a time when the press felt a compelling need to inform their American constituency even when it meant looming court action. The New York Times argued successfully to the Supreme Court that it "is in the interest of the people of this country to be informed..." to justify printing the Pentagon Papers. These papers outlined the actual Vietnam War reasons undercutting numerous machinations and misinformation given to the public. A New York Times editorial, dated, June 16, 1971, ended with sterling words: "It is the effort to expose and elucidate that truth that is the very essence of freedom of the press."
It's time to wonder after where that diligent search for truth has gone after only 3 decades-will the restoration of public trust ever be fully reinstated; and if confidence in our leadership has been betrayed by misplaced ideology. Now is time for the President to step forth and admit he has made a mistake(s); the first he will have done so since stepping into the White House. It’s not less than masculine, but may save the foundering ideals this nation was based upon from being permanently impaired.
The military has a unique way of correction by use of the phrase "as you were." This suspends reality, judgment and time while the originator delivers a dictate to be believed now. Consequently, even the most outrageous can be corrected by merely saying, "as you were," and then stating whatever necessary to correct/deny the moment. This belief has more credence in our society than most admit in these days of eclectic morality, veracity and values.
Newsweek admitted they may have, as you were, could have, as you were, might have, as you were, should not have placed all of their credibility into one source after severe White House criticism. The White House, however, is contracted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who states the new story did not influence Moslem opinion as much as internal political instability did. Scott McClellan, White House press secretary, avers the national magazine is to blame, but doesn’t comment on the General’s statement. Reporters challenge McClellan who resorts to emotional appeal, always believe your president and implies government should have more control over the press. Ironically, several other news sources had reported severe abuse including Koran desecration by US military personnel in numerous locations since the conflict broke out. It’s not a new story by any means nor is white House interference in the Fourth Estate. The President, unfortunately has run out of "as you were" uses. Wasn't a single source problem the same issue the White House used to justify invading Iraq as was later disclosed? And then the on again, off again administration relationship with Chalabi....
White House diversion from breaking stories is interesting since you have to focus on what is not meant to see what is intended. In this case, the publishing of a Times of London story, May 2, 2005, which prints a classified memo citing President Bush and Prime Minister Blair planning the future Iraqi war a year before hostilities began. Plots were devised, intelligence fixed upon, policy conceived and, according to the memo, an American President ordaining military action prior to the actual event. It has received full play in the international press, but not in our Fourth Estate.
Has the Fourth Estate admitted a grievous error by not covering this breaking issue in depth? Indeed so since the press upholds a public trust seriously damaged in recent years by governmental payoffs and corporate influence. There was a time when the press felt a compelling need to inform their American constituency even when it meant looming court action. The New York Times argued successfully to the Supreme Court that it "is in the interest of the people of this country to be informed..." to justify printing the Pentagon Papers. These papers outlined the actual Vietnam War reasons undercutting numerous machinations and misinformation given to the public. A New York Times editorial, dated, June 16, 1971, ended with sterling words: "It is the effort to expose and elucidate that truth that is the very essence of freedom of the press."
It's time to wonder after where that diligent search for truth has gone after only 3 decades-will the restoration of public trust ever be fully reinstated; and if confidence in our leadership has been betrayed by misplaced ideology. Now is time for the President to step forth and admit he has made a mistake(s); the first he will have done so since stepping into the White House. It’s not less than masculine, but may save the foundering ideals this nation was based upon from being permanently impaired.
Monday, May 16, 2005
MisMash Today
There are many bloggers who put out an excellent product: Kos, The Rude Pundit, and many more. I am learning as I go along and do a lot of reading to improve the quality of this production. That is, technical reading as opposed to my normal bibliophilic tendencies to go through everything my hands are placed on. Here's a listing of books being read and completed this week:
The President of Good and Evil by Peter Singer Chance and Circumstance by Baskir and Strauss Mad In America by Whitaker The Arrogance of Power; The Secret World of Richard Nixon by Anthony Summers Billy The Kid by Robert Utley The Popes Against The Jews by David L. Kertzen And The Band Played On By Schilts
Dodsworth by Sincalir Lewis
Who Spoke Up? An American Protest Against The War In Vietnam 1963-75 by Zaroulis and Sullivan.
Dodsworth by Sincalir Lewis
Who Spoke Up? An American Protest Against The War In Vietnam 1963-75 by Zaroulis and Sullivan.
Enlightened souls have always been the scourage of politicians and bureaucrats. Why not you enlightening yourself and going after the bureaucratic offenders. Just ask "why" and watch the perspiration break out.
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May 20th has been designated by the US Army as Recruiter Standdown Day due to numerous incidents of no-nos in ethic and legality by recruiters. Undboutedly, as mentioned before, local commanders will emphasize committment, excellent, honor and then threaten to send them to Iraq if more recruits are brought it. Army concept of discipline is this: open a lock/close the lock. This and the favorite command of "as you were" changes the tone and complexity of everything. For example, Mash, you are biggest candy ass on this man's planet!! Ok, as you were, (its now erased), I see here you received several medals for valor and heroics. You are now the biggest medal carrying candy ass in this man's army. I love logic.
Heres an Army of One caught in the act: "Channel 11 News in Houston revealed that a local Army recruiter was caught on tape, as he left a message threatening a young man with arrest if he didn't come into the recruiting station.
Sgt. Thomas Kelt left this message on that young man's cell phone:
"Hey Chris, this is Sgt. Kelt with the Army man. I think we got disconnected. Okay, I know you were on your cell probably and just had a bad connection or something like that. I know you didn't hang up on me. Anyway, by federal law you got an appointment with me at 2 o'clock this afternoon at Greenspoint Mall, okay? That's the Greenspoint Mall Army Recruiting Station at 2 o'clock. You fail to appear and we'll have a warrant. Okay? So give me a call back." (http://www.khou.com/images/0505/voicemail.wav)
Of course, the recruiter committed a big legal sin by threatening a warrant and could possibly be the receipient of a crap dog himself; but miniscule compared to the bad press the Green Machine is receiving over this.
There have also been incidents where recruiters have supplied information where to find counterfit graduation certification, drug body cleaning kits, etc. And to top it off, the Army announced this week they were dropping enlistment plans down to 15 months.
15 months.....according to law enacted during the Reagan Administration, you have to serve the minimum of 24 months to receive basic Veteran Administration benefits. Unless of course, you are injured on active duty and this changes everything to the date of injury. Nice to hear the Army is thinkng about 15 months to save all the benefit money.....
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Neal Horsley, conservative scourge, admitted during an interview he regularly had sex with a mule. He had been previously lauded by President Bush, but no comment has been forthcoming after this admission. My only concern is why no one interviewed the mule for her viewpoint. Does this mean the radical religious right is reconsidering their stand against same-sex marriages for animal bonking instead.
Another Bush person, Dr. David Hager, member of the Bush Family Values Council, always projected a wonderful family man image until his wife admitted he routinely anal raped her without consent. Those family values can certainly be a killer if you don't watch out.
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President Bush has announced he is going after wasteful Social Security money like SS Disability and SSDI. He desires to cut this funding since its obvious these people only obtained certification of permanent disability curtailing work to avoid the job market and $5.25 per hour. Remember, the Reagan Administration simply bounced 200,000 out without the right of redress...wham, bam, you're out. The US Treasury ended up paying millions in back pay and attorney fees during the Bush I administration due to this. Ironically, most cut suffered from mental health challenges unlike Horsley who likes Mules and Hager, above, who rapes his wife.
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Speaking of a desire to be sexually oriented, Larry Flynt has obtained information from numerous sources that Mr. John Bolton, UN ambassador nominee, participated in paid visits to Plato’s Retreat, the popular swingers club that operated in New York City in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Undoubtedly this was to commiserate the sorrow felt when Nixon had to resign for unpresident like felonies and later, President Reagan found himself in numerous scandals as well. John is a sensitive guy who just like to yell at people and chase high ranking foreign service female staff members down the hotel hallway.
(http://rawstory.com/exclusives/byrne/larry_flynt_bolton_511)
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"The Bush administration periodically put the USA on high alert for terrorist attacks even though then-Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge argued there was only flimsy evidence to justify raising the threat level, Ridge now says.
Ridge, who resigned Feb. 1, said Tuesday that he often disagreed with administration officials who wanted to elevate the threat level to orange, or "high" risk of terrorist attack, but was overruled."
(http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-05-10-ridge-alerts_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA)
Hmmmm, this couldn't have possibly been to keep Americans on their toes and magic fingers towards the ballot box for Bush, could it have? Besides that, the tremendous amount of money wasted caused many governors to simply refuse the call up of National Guard and Law Enforcement for overtime.
What is the moral of this whole story? Simply, George Bush should have kept his National Guard uniform on and not disappeared for up to 18 months. Gosh, I've been out for 35 years and still recall where my assignments were, but the Pres. can't with great detal. Methinks the combination of Daddy getting him into the Guard three days after graduating from college and then a direct commission as a 2Lt which he wasn't even remotely qualified for was a telling point. Well, all you have to do is score the lowest points conceivable on your Officer Test, 25, and you get a direct commission. Too bad he jumped ahead of a multitude of more qualified people to avoid being with the common sort in Vietnam.
Hey, we would have helped him learn the ropes. Taught him counterinsurgency tactics, 32 pressure points on the human body that can rander or kill someone, how to read the jungle, who Charley was and how to avoid E-8s....a very important skill. Also, he could have found some class cocaine for the habit at cheap prices along with Snake Brand Hash and learned the intricacies of sending it home.
By dodging the draft, George forsook us and is not even considered a Veterans since he did not spend any federal active duty time. Plenty of Texas Air National Guard duty time the first few months in flight school, but then the mysterious disappeance into Alabama; USAF thratening to bounce him out on bad paper; the urgent phone calls for help; and finally, corroborating documents substanting his time in Texas by the Texas Air National Guard, not Alabama. Wow, I am really not impressed.
__________________________
Finally, Dave Chappelle has surfaced and stated he was not in a drug program, a psychiatric facility, or with Dick Cheney in the Cessna. Dave was kicking back since he needed the time to vegged out from thos intense execs at higher level. Dave, keep your cool; contact me and we'll cruise the Arizona desert where you can mellow out and really enjoy life for a change. You can even bring Dick Cheney along unless he has a mission with the Cessna.
__________________________
May 20th has been designated by the US Army as Recruiter Standdown Day due to numerous incidents of no-nos in ethic and legality by recruiters. Undboutedly, as mentioned before, local commanders will emphasize committment, excellent, honor and then threaten to send them to Iraq if more recruits are brought it. Army concept of discipline is this: open a lock/close the lock. This and the favorite command of "as you were" changes the tone and complexity of everything. For example, Mash, you are biggest candy ass on this man's planet!! Ok, as you were, (its now erased), I see here you received several medals for valor and heroics. You are now the biggest medal carrying candy ass in this man's army. I love logic.
Heres an Army of One caught in the act: "Channel 11 News in Houston revealed that a local Army recruiter was caught on tape, as he left a message threatening a young man with arrest if he didn't come into the recruiting station.
Sgt. Thomas Kelt left this message on that young man's cell phone:
"Hey Chris, this is Sgt. Kelt with the Army man. I think we got disconnected. Okay, I know you were on your cell probably and just had a bad connection or something like that. I know you didn't hang up on me. Anyway, by federal law you got an appointment with me at 2 o'clock this afternoon at Greenspoint Mall, okay? That's the Greenspoint Mall Army Recruiting Station at 2 o'clock. You fail to appear and we'll have a warrant. Okay? So give me a call back." (http://www.khou.com/images/0505/voicemail.wav)
Of course, the recruiter committed a big legal sin by threatening a warrant and could possibly be the receipient of a crap dog himself; but miniscule compared to the bad press the Green Machine is receiving over this.
There have also been incidents where recruiters have supplied information where to find counterfit graduation certification, drug body cleaning kits, etc. And to top it off, the Army announced this week they were dropping enlistment plans down to 15 months.
15 months.....according to law enacted during the Reagan Administration, you have to serve the minimum of 24 months to receive basic Veteran Administration benefits. Unless of course, you are injured on active duty and this changes everything to the date of injury. Nice to hear the Army is thinkng about 15 months to save all the benefit money.....
____________________________
Neal Horsley, conservative scourge, admitted during an interview he regularly had sex with a mule. He had been previously lauded by President Bush, but no comment has been forthcoming after this admission. My only concern is why no one interviewed the mule for her viewpoint. Does this mean the radical religious right is reconsidering their stand against same-sex marriages for animal bonking instead.
Another Bush person, Dr. David Hager, member of the Bush Family Values Council, always projected a wonderful family man image until his wife admitted he routinely anal raped her without consent. Those family values can certainly be a killer if you don't watch out.
________________________
President Bush has announced he is going after wasteful Social Security money like SS Disability and SSDI. He desires to cut this funding since its obvious these people only obtained certification of permanent disability curtailing work to avoid the job market and $5.25 per hour. Remember, the Reagan Administration simply bounced 200,000 out without the right of redress...wham, bam, you're out. The US Treasury ended up paying millions in back pay and attorney fees during the Bush I administration due to this. Ironically, most cut suffered from mental health challenges unlike Horsley who likes Mules and Hager, above, who rapes his wife.
______________________________
Speaking of a desire to be sexually oriented, Larry Flynt has obtained information from numerous sources that Mr. John Bolton, UN ambassador nominee, participated in paid visits to Plato’s Retreat, the popular swingers club that operated in New York City in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Undoubtedly this was to commiserate the sorrow felt when Nixon had to resign for unpresident like felonies and later, President Reagan found himself in numerous scandals as well. John is a sensitive guy who just like to yell at people and chase high ranking foreign service female staff members down the hotel hallway.
(http://rawstory.com/exclusives/byrne/larry_flynt_bolton_511)
______________________
"The Bush administration periodically put the USA on high alert for terrorist attacks even though then-Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge argued there was only flimsy evidence to justify raising the threat level, Ridge now says.
Ridge, who resigned Feb. 1, said Tuesday that he often disagreed with administration officials who wanted to elevate the threat level to orange, or "high" risk of terrorist attack, but was overruled."
(http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2005-05-10-ridge-alerts_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA)
Hmmmm, this couldn't have possibly been to keep Americans on their toes and magic fingers towards the ballot box for Bush, could it have? Besides that, the tremendous amount of money wasted caused many governors to simply refuse the call up of National Guard and Law Enforcement for overtime.
What is the moral of this whole story? Simply, George Bush should have kept his National Guard uniform on and not disappeared for up to 18 months. Gosh, I've been out for 35 years and still recall where my assignments were, but the Pres. can't with great detal. Methinks the combination of Daddy getting him into the Guard three days after graduating from college and then a direct commission as a 2Lt which he wasn't even remotely qualified for was a telling point. Well, all you have to do is score the lowest points conceivable on your Officer Test, 25, and you get a direct commission. Too bad he jumped ahead of a multitude of more qualified people to avoid being with the common sort in Vietnam.
Hey, we would have helped him learn the ropes. Taught him counterinsurgency tactics, 32 pressure points on the human body that can rander or kill someone, how to read the jungle, who Charley was and how to avoid E-8s....a very important skill. Also, he could have found some class cocaine for the habit at cheap prices along with Snake Brand Hash and learned the intricacies of sending it home.
By dodging the draft, George forsook us and is not even considered a Veterans since he did not spend any federal active duty time. Plenty of Texas Air National Guard duty time the first few months in flight school, but then the mysterious disappeance into Alabama; USAF thratening to bounce him out on bad paper; the urgent phone calls for help; and finally, corroborating documents substanting his time in Texas by the Texas Air National Guard, not Alabama. Wow, I am really not impressed.
__________________________
Finally, Dave Chappelle has surfaced and stated he was not in a drug program, a psychiatric facility, or with Dick Cheney in the Cessna. Dave was kicking back since he needed the time to vegged out from thos intense execs at higher level. Dave, keep your cool; contact me and we'll cruise the Arizona desert where you can mellow out and really enjoy life for a change. You can even bring Dick Cheney along unless he has a mission with the Cessna.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
MISMASH AT ITS BEST
Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Once again, remind myself that the President doesn't read papers or books without pictures; he depends on his aides to brief him on anything important. Oh, Aid!!! Oh, Aid!!!!
A recent MI6 report indicates Dubya and Papa Blair had already agreed by July, 2002, to invade Iraq. This was about a year before the war was launched and the two leaders decided to oust Sadaam by shaping intelligence for that goal and never really had any intention to avert a war. The British Government has already certified the validity of the document and it poses a possible impeachment for George. On a side note, President Bush introduced a bill for a 10,000 square foot condominim with all the accoutrements, bike tracks, a library of Billy The Goat books, and a tennis court for a new high roller federal prison. He expects full cooperation from Congress and a soon arrival.
VP Cheney claims to have no knowledge of this, anything else, difficulty finding his office and will apply for his 6th draft deferment.
Secretary of State Rumsfeld is pleading pre-dementia and cannot recall anything but his 401Ks, Swiss bank account numbers and how successful he wasn't in creating the new military.
88 Congressional Members have asked George to explain the MI6 document content, but so far the President has only stated "Ari Fleischer made me do it!" When really pushed to explain, the President ran from the room screaming, "no pictures, no read."
Let me see if I understand this....a Republican and member of George's Family Values Council has admitted having sex with a mule.....hmmmmmm. Well, at least its all in the family.
Dennis Miller is still fired, but is applying for the position of Court Jester at the White House.
Major automobile have their stocks downgraded to almost worthless and this economy is not in trouble?????
On a serious note, Pat Robertson has announced he will soon be directing a hostile takeover of Oral Roberts' 900 foot high Jesus and is requesting faith partners to donate at least $5 million to avert his return to an honest life.
Along the same lines, Vice President Dick Cheney held a special press conference to announce he was not in the Cessna which recently violated White House space by existing. Further, the VP claimed he didn't what one looked like and was probably eligible for a 6th deferrment from the military draft.
2nd Lady Lynn Cheney also announced her prior novels were not lesbian erotic novels but merely Sapphos inclined debauchery with a tendency toward intimacy not normally associated with heterosexual relationships. Jeff Gannon concurred with her findings.
Speaking of Jeff, he is really upset about not being able to visit the White House late in the evening like before. Wonder who the John was? There was a scandal under Daddy Bush's White House with the same thing, but not Jeff. Wonder who the Johns were?
Jennifer Aniston is definitely not going to reconcile with herself after a very publicized breakup.
Daniel Day Lewis is one talented actor who keeps producing one good movie after another. Wonder how that makes Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears feel?
Is the AFLAC Duck a licensed insurance representative in accordance with the laws of its state?
Would we trust Bolton to babysit our children much less represent this nation at the United Nations?
Submariners are very upset with the potential closing of Rotten Groton, Connecticut. The place holds so many memories for the entire Silent Service that this writer believes it needs more consideration. Just look at all the teeth prints at the Petty Officer Bar.
The only major bases not considered for closing which would save billions were Iraq and Afghanistan. Secretary Rumseld stated he had difficulty finding these nations on the map and thus could not calculate the total save or his IQ.
O'Reilly viewership is down by 30% and plunger lower than Dennis Miller. Now, the erstwhile spinner of fibs once claimed 6,000,000 watched him, but then it was discovered only 2,000,000 actually cared enough. Now if we deduct 30% of this we come up with 600,000 which means his viewership is 1,400,000 people. Knowing O'Reilly, this energetic bunch was actually recruited from a Haitian Zombie Corps, only know two words O Reilly, and automatically sign fan letters. Hey, O'Reilly, you started diving after sexually harassing your own producer. Quit lying, tell the truth and leave. There's a reality show out there for you some where--humping a rifle in Iraq. I can see it now: Rush, Michael Savage and O'Reilly humping the desert for someone to harass.
The baseball steroids issue seems to have passed into the clubhouse for better varieties.
And Finally, The Minutemen gave up their patriotically inspired defense of Arizona's borders for a better and cooler climate in San Diego. It had absolutely nothing to do with the Mexican Army moving forces to their area across the border nor the crosses deviating to either flank to go around. It was simply too darn hot and they aren't paid enough to endure uncomfortable conditions. Next time there will be coolers and cable. The life of a vigilante.
I thinkthere I am; and still in need of a job. Writer/Historian available here.
Will work for internet access........
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Once again, remind myself that the President doesn't read papers or books without pictures; he depends on his aides to brief him on anything important. Oh, Aid!!! Oh, Aid!!!!
A recent MI6 report indicates Dubya and Papa Blair had already agreed by July, 2002, to invade Iraq. This was about a year before the war was launched and the two leaders decided to oust Sadaam by shaping intelligence for that goal and never really had any intention to avert a war. The British Government has already certified the validity of the document and it poses a possible impeachment for George. On a side note, President Bush introduced a bill for a 10,000 square foot condominim with all the accoutrements, bike tracks, a library of Billy The Goat books, and a tennis court for a new high roller federal prison. He expects full cooperation from Congress and a soon arrival.
VP Cheney claims to have no knowledge of this, anything else, difficulty finding his office and will apply for his 6th draft deferment.
Secretary of State Rumsfeld is pleading pre-dementia and cannot recall anything but his 401Ks, Swiss bank account numbers and how successful he wasn't in creating the new military.
88 Congressional Members have asked George to explain the MI6 document content, but so far the President has only stated "Ari Fleischer made me do it!" When really pushed to explain, the President ran from the room screaming, "no pictures, no read."
Let me see if I understand this....a Republican and member of George's Family Values Council has admitted having sex with a mule.....hmmmmmm. Well, at least its all in the family.
Dennis Miller is still fired, but is applying for the position of Court Jester at the White House.
Major automobile have their stocks downgraded to almost worthless and this economy is not in trouble?????
On a serious note, Pat Robertson has announced he will soon be directing a hostile takeover of Oral Roberts' 900 foot high Jesus and is requesting faith partners to donate at least $5 million to avert his return to an honest life.
Along the same lines, Vice President Dick Cheney held a special press conference to announce he was not in the Cessna which recently violated White House space by existing. Further, the VP claimed he didn't what one looked like and was probably eligible for a 6th deferrment from the military draft.
2nd Lady Lynn Cheney also announced her prior novels were not lesbian erotic novels but merely Sapphos inclined debauchery with a tendency toward intimacy not normally associated with heterosexual relationships. Jeff Gannon concurred with her findings.
Speaking of Jeff, he is really upset about not being able to visit the White House late in the evening like before. Wonder who the John was? There was a scandal under Daddy Bush's White House with the same thing, but not Jeff. Wonder who the Johns were?
Jennifer Aniston is definitely not going to reconcile with herself after a very publicized breakup.
Daniel Day Lewis is one talented actor who keeps producing one good movie after another. Wonder how that makes Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears feel?
Is the AFLAC Duck a licensed insurance representative in accordance with the laws of its state?
Would we trust Bolton to babysit our children much less represent this nation at the United Nations?
Submariners are very upset with the potential closing of Rotten Groton, Connecticut. The place holds so many memories for the entire Silent Service that this writer believes it needs more consideration. Just look at all the teeth prints at the Petty Officer Bar.
The only major bases not considered for closing which would save billions were Iraq and Afghanistan. Secretary Rumseld stated he had difficulty finding these nations on the map and thus could not calculate the total save or his IQ.
O'Reilly viewership is down by 30% and plunger lower than Dennis Miller. Now, the erstwhile spinner of fibs once claimed 6,000,000 watched him, but then it was discovered only 2,000,000 actually cared enough. Now if we deduct 30% of this we come up with 600,000 which means his viewership is 1,400,000 people. Knowing O'Reilly, this energetic bunch was actually recruited from a Haitian Zombie Corps, only know two words O Reilly, and automatically sign fan letters. Hey, O'Reilly, you started diving after sexually harassing your own producer. Quit lying, tell the truth and leave. There's a reality show out there for you some where--humping a rifle in Iraq. I can see it now: Rush, Michael Savage and O'Reilly humping the desert for someone to harass.
The baseball steroids issue seems to have passed into the clubhouse for better varieties.
And Finally, The Minutemen gave up their patriotically inspired defense of Arizona's borders for a better and cooler climate in San Diego. It had absolutely nothing to do with the Mexican Army moving forces to their area across the border nor the crosses deviating to either flank to go around. It was simply too darn hot and they aren't paid enough to endure uncomfortable conditions. Next time there will be coolers and cable. The life of a vigilante.
I thinkthere I am; and still in need of a job. Writer/Historian available here.
Will work for internet access........
Friday, May 13, 2005
MisMash II
Satire With A Special Touch
A Cessna penetrated the Washington D.C. flight zone causing great concern while simultaneously displaying flaws in the emergency reaction plan. It was found not everyone was evacuated (ironically, all Democrats except Sen. Lieberman), few knew how to make decisions nor who made them nor who shoots down what, when or how. President Bush was bicyling the Maryland countryside and was notified 40 minutes later of the evacuation. Officials weren't sure whether he was coming or going at the time, but did notice Billy The Goat was open on the handlebars.
Ken Lay, former Enron head, is scheduled to go on trial in June for financial hijinks related to the corporation's meltdown. So far, his defense has consisted of "I didn't know"; "it was a really big business"; "I wasn't aware of everything going on"; "George Bush was a good friend, but I'm not supposed to say he is now"; "my dog misses me" and "my wife is poverty stricken since our income is down to god knows how many mizillion dollars a month." Insanity is not a defense option.
The Yankees boast some of the greatest talent in baseball, but can't climb from the lower divison. Perhaps George Steinbrenner should run the Yankees in the Kentucky Derby and let the five horses play baseball.
Former First Lady Nancy Reagan was honored for her Alzheimer's research fight and justiably so. She was not honored for being strung out on downers (according to daughter Patty), running the nation, believing in astrology, making derogatory remarks about Vietnam Veterans or not making it as an actress. One area she scored high marks for was buying china. According to the citation, Nancy paid $142,000 for china which is considered quite a steal considering $7.2 million was paid to the Russians for Alaska.
All these recruiting scandals has caused the Army to announce a 15 month enlistment which is 9 months short of earning DVA benefits. May 20 has been declared an Army Recruiter down day dedicated to commanders rebriefing them on ethics, honesty and committment followed by a threat to send the whole lot to the Aleutians if they don't produce! Perhaps a morale speech by Attorney General Gonzales on torture.
The RealID enactment has experienced a setback due to many states complaining of turf infringement. Vice-President Cheney was immediately dispatched to quell the fire, but could only come up with his "get out of jail free" card when asked for ID at the airport. He was immediately ushered to a Cessna for flight back to Washington DC. Ooops, that's a state secret..never mind!
Valeri Putin, Russian leader, admitted he wasn't angry at President Bush for not exactly pro-Russian comments made in Latvia, but rather for not holding hands with him in public. He just couldn't understand this since Russia has the largest underground oil deposits in the world.
Comedienne somewhat Joan Rivers was scheduled for a Tucson AZ appearance and showed up prompting some to ask for their money back.
IBM announced anticipated layoffs of up to 3000 people in Europe, but had to find them first.
Qwest lost the bidding war for MCI to Verizion causing a great stir somewhere with someone. Undoubtedly Qwest will raise domestic rates to find the reason with a mythical research study (is that creative accounting?)
Tom DeLay supporters had a gala event to fete their man who promptly accused the Democrats for all his problems. That's certainly giving a lot of credit to a party exceedingly quiet in Washington. Tom is also planning to write his memoirs as soon as a paper supplier is found for the right influence deal.
Dennis Miller is quitting his show after someone noticed he had one. His only comment was it was his decision to leave on his own terms after being fired for ratings lower than the earth's core.
Mic Jagger, 62, announced the Stones will be going on tour again after Keith Richards is noticed to have some type of movement.
In an attempt to regain lost fans, Brittany Spears announced today she is still a virgin even though pregnant, twice married and a very publicized love affair with Justin Timberlake. Spears, who is making a reality show with hubby Kevin Federline, states her new production will definitely be a baby and the show will definitely be unproduced, unwanted, unshown, you know, and who cares.
Finally, Bill Gates announced IPod needs to move over, but failed to disclose why or for what or when or how. Kind of reminds us of Longhorn or Whistler or Chicago or how windows was a tad bit like the one Apple had.
I think therefore I am. I am therefore I think I still need an income
Ken Lay, former Enron head, is scheduled to go on trial in June for financial hijinks related to the corporation's meltdown. So far, his defense has consisted of "I didn't know"; "it was a really big business"; "I wasn't aware of everything going on"; "George Bush was a good friend, but I'm not supposed to say he is now"; "my dog misses me" and "my wife is poverty stricken since our income is down to god knows how many mizillion dollars a month." Insanity is not a defense option.
The Yankees boast some of the greatest talent in baseball, but can't climb from the lower divison. Perhaps George Steinbrenner should run the Yankees in the Kentucky Derby and let the five horses play baseball.
Former First Lady Nancy Reagan was honored for her Alzheimer's research fight and justiably so. She was not honored for being strung out on downers (according to daughter Patty), running the nation, believing in astrology, making derogatory remarks about Vietnam Veterans or not making it as an actress. One area she scored high marks for was buying china. According to the citation, Nancy paid $142,000 for china which is considered quite a steal considering $7.2 million was paid to the Russians for Alaska.
All these recruiting scandals has caused the Army to announce a 15 month enlistment which is 9 months short of earning DVA benefits. May 20 has been declared an Army Recruiter down day dedicated to commanders rebriefing them on ethics, honesty and committment followed by a threat to send the whole lot to the Aleutians if they don't produce! Perhaps a morale speech by Attorney General Gonzales on torture.
The RealID enactment has experienced a setback due to many states complaining of turf infringement. Vice-President Cheney was immediately dispatched to quell the fire, but could only come up with his "get out of jail free" card when asked for ID at the airport. He was immediately ushered to a Cessna for flight back to Washington DC. Ooops, that's a state secret..never mind!
Valeri Putin, Russian leader, admitted he wasn't angry at President Bush for not exactly pro-Russian comments made in Latvia, but rather for not holding hands with him in public. He just couldn't understand this since Russia has the largest underground oil deposits in the world.
Comedienne somewhat Joan Rivers was scheduled for a Tucson AZ appearance and showed up prompting some to ask for their money back.
IBM announced anticipated layoffs of up to 3000 people in Europe, but had to find them first.
Qwest lost the bidding war for MCI to Verizion causing a great stir somewhere with someone. Undoubtedly Qwest will raise domestic rates to find the reason with a mythical research study (is that creative accounting?)
Tom DeLay supporters had a gala event to fete their man who promptly accused the Democrats for all his problems. That's certainly giving a lot of credit to a party exceedingly quiet in Washington. Tom is also planning to write his memoirs as soon as a paper supplier is found for the right influence deal.
Dennis Miller is quitting his show after someone noticed he had one. His only comment was it was his decision to leave on his own terms after being fired for ratings lower than the earth's core.
Mic Jagger, 62, announced the Stones will be going on tour again after Keith Richards is noticed to have some type of movement.
In an attempt to regain lost fans, Brittany Spears announced today she is still a virgin even though pregnant, twice married and a very publicized love affair with Justin Timberlake. Spears, who is making a reality show with hubby Kevin Federline, states her new production will definitely be a baby and the show will definitely be unproduced, unwanted, unshown, you know, and who cares.
Finally, Bill Gates announced IPod needs to move over, but failed to disclose why or for what or when or how. Kind of reminds us of Longhorn or Whistler or Chicago or how windows was a tad bit like the one Apple had.
I think therefore I am. I am therefore I think I still need an income
Thursday, May 12, 2005
MISMASH
Sitting at the table watching Dune and wondering if Washington D.C. needs a larger portion of spice.
Read an article that 10 bases on the prior military closing list rate "most polluted" status. Well, that stands to reason since a great amount of coffee were dumped during all those necessary breaks. EPA states it doesn't have enough money to clean them up to recent Bush cutbacks, but the President signed another bill yesterday providing Iraq and Afghani military operations another $82 billion. Apparently its a choice whether people suffer there or die here from chemical poisoning.
President Bush is issuing a retraction to a redaction for a reduction in the production of obfuscation within his administration and is now seeking obscuration. Confusion is a primary ingredient for the expedient flow of this government.
Paula Abdul should have stuck to choreography and left reality behind.
Jerry Falwell has announced he has reconciled with the Teletubbies during his recent hospital stay somewhere between painkillers.
Another military academy has come under the microscope for religious discrimination. Don't really know why this is a surprise since my basic training experience gave me two choices on Sundays-either Protestant or Catholic services.
Steroids no longer seem to be the top issue in baseball. Apparently, the enhancer does not increase brain size since no one to seems recalls the late Lyle Alzado who pleaded for athletes to avoid lest his own fate. Rest in peace, Lyle.
Laura Bush dissed her husband at the official White House Press Association dinner. Its not surprising the White House had a dinner for the press since so many may already receive government funding, but Laura Bush dissing her husband. She stated he attempted to milk a "male horse." What does that say for her choice in love?
Michael Jackson is still on trial for molestation, but one wonders why the prosecution hasn't called the chimp to testify?
Tammy Faye Baker is still Tammy Faye Baker. Who the hell is Tammy Faye Baker?
Who is Tucker Carlson and why would anyone listen to someone that doesn't understand Jon Stewart has a comedy show. Carlson needs a tour of duty with the Marines to find the meaning of honor and sacrifice. Carlson wouldn't last one day of Marine basic!!!
Speaking of sacrifice, United Airlines recently received manna from heaven after a bankruptcy court granted them a divorce from the pensions. Thousands will be lost on individual retirement account yearly, but United is happy. So ecstatic the board will probably give the CEO a bonus. Wonder why President Bush is not hawking this as "governmentizing" retirement since the feds have have to pay off only a portion of the fund.
The pentagon stated recently they could not afford to provide compensation nor medical treatment for those injured in the war on terrorism. In face, a spokesperson stated the needs of national security were greater. No comment needed.
Two Detroit automakers had their stocks downgraded to junk status which isn't good news for this country. Paraphrasing an old adage, the way of Detroit is the way of the United States.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is still married and convicted.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if our government was as open as viewing West Wing?
Speaking of which, Wag The Dog is rapidly becoming the norm rather than the exception.
Rush Limbaugh's court case suffered a reversal when his appeal to have his medical records remain private was denied. This is unusual since he wants his medical records private to avoid drug, doctor farming, and money laundering prosecution while the Justice Department is arguing for access to all abortion clinic files for possible prosecution. So how do you reconcile the wide mouth of the right wing arguing cops shouldn't be able to use a warrant to cart away his med records and in the next breath demanding abortion clinics give up all their files to see if prosecutors can go after women who had abortions. Limbaugh's Logic!!!
Pat Robertson still thinks Charles Taylor, former cruel dictator of Nigeria, was a good Christian. Charles Taylor wishes Pat would shut the hell up, but likes all the money he got.
Why are so many children in this country dying from murder?
President Bush wants to cut food stamps for the poor elderly in this nation. Reasoning is this will stimulate the economy through dog food sales-the scandal the Reagan Administration had to endure when many seniors were found existing on cheap dog food. Give another bonus to Halliburton.....
Why is the Navy naming carriers after those still living instead of following tradition of only the deceased? The George H.W. Bush is going to be renamed The October Surprise.
Ann Coulter has announced she intends to remain Ann Coulter as long as people pay attention to her. $30,000 a pop for lectures isn't bad for someone who had difficulty practicing law where courts ascertain the truth.
Finally, Attorney General Gonzales stated the abuses at Abu Ghraib were alleged incidents. Of course, his comments fly in the face of international law specifically the Convention Against Torture, the 4th Geneva Convention and recent court martial convictions. Citing these as alleged is like saying we have no war dead from the war on terrorism.
Cogito ergo sum. I need an income.
Read an article that 10 bases on the prior military closing list rate "most polluted" status. Well, that stands to reason since a great amount of coffee were dumped during all those necessary breaks. EPA states it doesn't have enough money to clean them up to recent Bush cutbacks, but the President signed another bill yesterday providing Iraq and Afghani military operations another $82 billion. Apparently its a choice whether people suffer there or die here from chemical poisoning.
President Bush is issuing a retraction to a redaction for a reduction in the production of obfuscation within his administration and is now seeking obscuration. Confusion is a primary ingredient for the expedient flow of this government.
Paula Abdul should have stuck to choreography and left reality behind.
Jerry Falwell has announced he has reconciled with the Teletubbies during his recent hospital stay somewhere between painkillers.
Another military academy has come under the microscope for religious discrimination. Don't really know why this is a surprise since my basic training experience gave me two choices on Sundays-either Protestant or Catholic services.
Steroids no longer seem to be the top issue in baseball. Apparently, the enhancer does not increase brain size since no one to seems recalls the late Lyle Alzado who pleaded for athletes to avoid lest his own fate. Rest in peace, Lyle.
Laura Bush dissed her husband at the official White House Press Association dinner. Its not surprising the White House had a dinner for the press since so many may already receive government funding, but Laura Bush dissing her husband. She stated he attempted to milk a "male horse." What does that say for her choice in love?
Michael Jackson is still on trial for molestation, but one wonders why the prosecution hasn't called the chimp to testify?
Tammy Faye Baker is still Tammy Faye Baker. Who the hell is Tammy Faye Baker?
Who is Tucker Carlson and why would anyone listen to someone that doesn't understand Jon Stewart has a comedy show. Carlson needs a tour of duty with the Marines to find the meaning of honor and sacrifice. Carlson wouldn't last one day of Marine basic!!!
Speaking of sacrifice, United Airlines recently received manna from heaven after a bankruptcy court granted them a divorce from the pensions. Thousands will be lost on individual retirement account yearly, but United is happy. So ecstatic the board will probably give the CEO a bonus. Wonder why President Bush is not hawking this as "governmentizing" retirement since the feds have have to pay off only a portion of the fund.
The pentagon stated recently they could not afford to provide compensation nor medical treatment for those injured in the war on terrorism. In face, a spokesperson stated the needs of national security were greater. No comment needed.
Two Detroit automakers had their stocks downgraded to junk status which isn't good news for this country. Paraphrasing an old adage, the way of Detroit is the way of the United States.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is still married and convicted.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if our government was as open as viewing West Wing?
Speaking of which, Wag The Dog is rapidly becoming the norm rather than the exception.
Rush Limbaugh's court case suffered a reversal when his appeal to have his medical records remain private was denied. This is unusual since he wants his medical records private to avoid drug, doctor farming, and money laundering prosecution while the Justice Department is arguing for access to all abortion clinic files for possible prosecution. So how do you reconcile the wide mouth of the right wing arguing cops shouldn't be able to use a warrant to cart away his med records and in the next breath demanding abortion clinics give up all their files to see if prosecutors can go after women who had abortions. Limbaugh's Logic!!!
Pat Robertson still thinks Charles Taylor, former cruel dictator of Nigeria, was a good Christian. Charles Taylor wishes Pat would shut the hell up, but likes all the money he got.
Why are so many children in this country dying from murder?
President Bush wants to cut food stamps for the poor elderly in this nation. Reasoning is this will stimulate the economy through dog food sales-the scandal the Reagan Administration had to endure when many seniors were found existing on cheap dog food. Give another bonus to Halliburton.....
Why is the Navy naming carriers after those still living instead of following tradition of only the deceased? The George H.W. Bush is going to be renamed The October Surprise.
Ann Coulter has announced she intends to remain Ann Coulter as long as people pay attention to her. $30,000 a pop for lectures isn't bad for someone who had difficulty practicing law where courts ascertain the truth.
Finally, Attorney General Gonzales stated the abuses at Abu Ghraib were alleged incidents. Of course, his comments fly in the face of international law specifically the Convention Against Torture, the 4th Geneva Convention and recent court martial convictions. Citing these as alleged is like saying we have no war dead from the war on terrorism.
Cogito ergo sum. I need an income.
HOW TO APPPROACH YOUR COMPUTER
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Your computer is a living breathing organism which has brought much joy and frustration into your life. You must treat your beastie as a family member with supportive talk, occasional compliments, stroking, assurance it always has a home and immaculate cleaning inside and out.
Now, the first step in approaching your computer is to ascertain where Tron slept last night. Computers often take the same characterisitcs as cats which means they sleep where they want and just dare anyone to wake them up. Don't become overly concerned if you can't find that G-5 or Microsoft Media Center; they are very attached to the home and usually don't go far. Please do the following to call your computer:
Your computer will come bumping along and meekly take its previous position ready for you to move those magic fingers. Note the content look on the unit's monitor, the eagerness to chomp those bytes and take you into a new dimension. But not Yet....
Respositioning the computer is over, but now you have to first exert ownership authority and then approach the computer. Ownership can be expressed by simply going behind the unit and reading the serial number two times in a slow melodic tone. Then contact the company help desk where you purchased it and ask the tech to state your name twice as the owner and then serial number. The computer will acknowledge this by rocking from the right to the left twice before playing various windows sounds.
Now you are ready to sit down and approach the computer. Go slowly into your favorite chair, place your hands on the table, your head between the hands and state the following: "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy." This levels the playing field from the exertion of ownership and a balance has been struck. However, don't be alarmed if the wrong approach is used. Merely ask the computer to come down from the top of the cupboard in a soft voice and reassure there are no hard feelings. The unit will be initially reluctant, but will eventually come down. I suggest a packed picnic with several fluid bottles spread over an oriental rug for maximum effect and a cold bottle of Chablis.
The computer returns and you are ecstatic!! Now place your right hand on the keyboad and gently rub your fingers over each key. This makes the apparatus feel at home and also arouses both AMD and Intel Chips. Do this for several seconds and gently work you hand towards the CPU turn on button. Prior to pushing the button, take a deep breath and sing the following song, in A preferably: Inna Gadda Da Vida. There are only 17 total words in the song so it will be easy to remember, but the music is heavy duty. Your computer will begin rocking out and you can easily push that magic button. REMEMBER THOUGH-don't be alarmed if you forget a word or two>hiding in the refrigerator is sooting for the computer and you can easily persuade it to return by following directions in the first paragraph. If necessary, go to a lyric site on the internet for the 17 words, but for gosh sakes, DON'T LET YOUR COMPUTER KNOW YOU HAVE STROKED THE KEYS OF ANOTHER!
Computer has returned, both it and monitor are on and your are ready......well, almost. Be a good doobie and check the firewall, antispyware, antivirus and anything else to transmit a solid note of caring to your PC. Chips have developed feelings over the years, but there are always some emotions being felt for the first time. This bonding is necessary to ensure safe operation of the unit as well as extending your affection. If you blow this step, simply remember you can pick up your computer two blocks away sitting on the corner with its power cord hung high begging to hitchhike somewhere. A new age church has built a giant facility on the California-Arizona border that houses runaway computers; and tech-counselors deal with their issues of abandonment, homelessness, rejection, etc. Its big business.
Now, be positive. Your computer is there and you are ready to whing out a solid day of computing. Some other tips make common sense: clean your computer regularly inside and out; scrub that keyboard; vacuum all that crud out of the keyboard and computer innards; and finally, help that mouse find rotation again. If you notice corn growing out of your mouse, that may be a good sign of outstanding fertilizer has built up over the 10 years or so you have owned it. Clean the little darling with Jack Daniels, alcohol, cotton swabs and Irish Lullabies. After awhile it will be spic and span; and so will you! DO NOT TRY TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!
All right, you are ready.......now go do your thing!!!! Oh, by the way, more than one computer in the house means doing this with each. It seems almost certain computers will be unionized within a year so prepare for many things like a home computer steward. The wonder of technology! Always remember, if nothing else works, water immersion is subtle and deadly!
Now, the first step in approaching your computer is to ascertain where Tron slept last night. Computers often take the same characterisitcs as cats which means they sleep where they want and just dare anyone to wake them up. Don't become overly concerned if you can't find that G-5 or Microsoft Media Center; they are very attached to the home and usually don't go far. Please do the following to call your computer:
- Windows Based Units: state loud and firmly: "Yah, I was looking at Linux last night and really like the new 9.3 GUI."
- Linux Based Units: again, loudly and firmly: "Perhaps its best to return to Windows XP since more software was available."
Your computer will come bumping along and meekly take its previous position ready for you to move those magic fingers. Note the content look on the unit's monitor, the eagerness to chomp those bytes and take you into a new dimension. But not Yet....
Respositioning the computer is over, but now you have to first exert ownership authority and then approach the computer. Ownership can be expressed by simply going behind the unit and reading the serial number two times in a slow melodic tone. Then contact the company help desk where you purchased it and ask the tech to state your name twice as the owner and then serial number. The computer will acknowledge this by rocking from the right to the left twice before playing various windows sounds.
Now you are ready to sit down and approach the computer. Go slowly into your favorite chair, place your hands on the table, your head between the hands and state the following: "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy." This levels the playing field from the exertion of ownership and a balance has been struck. However, don't be alarmed if the wrong approach is used. Merely ask the computer to come down from the top of the cupboard in a soft voice and reassure there are no hard feelings. The unit will be initially reluctant, but will eventually come down. I suggest a packed picnic with several fluid bottles spread over an oriental rug for maximum effect and a cold bottle of Chablis.
The computer returns and you are ecstatic!! Now place your right hand on the keyboad and gently rub your fingers over each key. This makes the apparatus feel at home and also arouses both AMD and Intel Chips. Do this for several seconds and gently work you hand towards the CPU turn on button. Prior to pushing the button, take a deep breath and sing the following song, in A preferably: Inna Gadda Da Vida. There are only 17 total words in the song so it will be easy to remember, but the music is heavy duty. Your computer will begin rocking out and you can easily push that magic button. REMEMBER THOUGH-don't be alarmed if you forget a word or two>hiding in the refrigerator is sooting for the computer and you can easily persuade it to return by following directions in the first paragraph. If necessary, go to a lyric site on the internet for the 17 words, but for gosh sakes, DON'T LET YOUR COMPUTER KNOW YOU HAVE STROKED THE KEYS OF ANOTHER!
Computer has returned, both it and monitor are on and your are ready......well, almost. Be a good doobie and check the firewall, antispyware, antivirus and anything else to transmit a solid note of caring to your PC. Chips have developed feelings over the years, but there are always some emotions being felt for the first time. This bonding is necessary to ensure safe operation of the unit as well as extending your affection. If you blow this step, simply remember you can pick up your computer two blocks away sitting on the corner with its power cord hung high begging to hitchhike somewhere. A new age church has built a giant facility on the California-Arizona border that houses runaway computers; and tech-counselors deal with their issues of abandonment, homelessness, rejection, etc. Its big business.
Now, be positive. Your computer is there and you are ready to whing out a solid day of computing. Some other tips make common sense: clean your computer regularly inside and out; scrub that keyboard; vacuum all that crud out of the keyboard and computer innards; and finally, help that mouse find rotation again. If you notice corn growing out of your mouse, that may be a good sign of outstanding fertilizer has built up over the 10 years or so you have owned it. Clean the little darling with Jack Daniels, alcohol, cotton swabs and Irish Lullabies. After awhile it will be spic and span; and so will you! DO NOT TRY TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!
All right, you are ready.......now go do your thing!!!! Oh, by the way, more than one computer in the house means doing this with each. It seems almost certain computers will be unionized within a year so prepare for many things like a home computer steward. The wonder of technology! Always remember, if nothing else works, water immersion is subtle and deadly!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
THE OLD MAN AND THE POSTAL SYSTEM
Now, one of the good, kind decent Post Office folk has asked me to say a few words on their behalf. Seem some of you'uns have been gettin" persnickedy about the system's effluency. Will, I'm here to prove yer plumb wrong!!!
First of all, they deliver mail the best they can. We mountain Folk don't get a lot of mail, but when Clem Flyfaster shows up every Spring and Fall with the Official Bag, we's happy people! Most of the time he can't get through cuz of varmints creatin' trouble, bad snowstorms or hellatious rains. In fact this Spring, all we got was a batch of incoming tax notices, a bonafide correspondence from President Theodore Roosevelt and Liberty Bond Drive announcements.
We expect better service as soon as the Postmaster's horse is feeling better. Seems like the poor critter's been ailin' somethin' fierce since he got a bad dose of that their crazy weed, hemp or mayjiwana as city slickers call it. All that animal does in lick, nothin' but lick!! Poor Clem's barn has taken one he-ll of a lickin' every day since he ate it, but signs are lookin' up.
Our Leading Citizen asked a long haired stranger, who claimed to be "far out," highly educated I s'pose, what to do with the horse. The dern Freak recommended somethin' called a "downer" and that critter just perked right up for awhile. He quit lickin," but now just stares something fierce at the barn midpole all day. Clem wasn't feelin' too kindly himself so the stranger left some magic roots for him. His eyes been lookin' kinda glassy ever since, but Clem's still the best durn mailman we ever had besides being the only one.
Clem is a man of integrity too, just like all the rest of the mail carriers. He's hones and good with money. In fact, twice a year Clem saves enough to git somethin' new. This year, after the mail came in, he gave to all the charities and bought himself a new house. Your could almost swear he was carrying a bag of money instead of mail!! He's our Mayor too and takes care of things like City revenuer-sharing allottments, etc; all those wicked socialistic instruments, he sez. Good to have a man smart enough to handle the Feds and their strange ways. We don't worry about Social Insecurity or Medicare. Clem sez its all a Communist Plot and returns the money!! Fine man, he is!!
Well, don't know what else to say except you Bubs that critize the Postal People are a bit daff or pixilated as Granny would say. Cuz just as sure as this is the year, the year ahhhhh, they year welllllll, of nice sunrises and sunsets, the Postal System is fine and upritey. Just think these things out and you'll see what I mean.
I thank you for readin' this; Bless America and down with everything beyond our comprehension....Clem sez a lot of bad changes goin' on in the Vallies, but we don't hear much in our little town of Awareness!! Best that way, though. It's hard enough being simple backward people resistin' thos tainted progressive notions.
First of all, they deliver mail the best they can. We mountain Folk don't get a lot of mail, but when Clem Flyfaster shows up every Spring and Fall with the Official Bag, we's happy people! Most of the time he can't get through cuz of varmints creatin' trouble, bad snowstorms or hellatious rains. In fact this Spring, all we got was a batch of incoming tax notices, a bonafide correspondence from President Theodore Roosevelt and Liberty Bond Drive announcements.
We expect better service as soon as the Postmaster's horse is feeling better. Seems like the poor critter's been ailin' somethin' fierce since he got a bad dose of that their crazy weed, hemp or mayjiwana as city slickers call it. All that animal does in lick, nothin' but lick!! Poor Clem's barn has taken one he-ll of a lickin' every day since he ate it, but signs are lookin' up.
Our Leading Citizen asked a long haired stranger, who claimed to be "far out," highly educated I s'pose, what to do with the horse. The dern Freak recommended somethin' called a "downer" and that critter just perked right up for awhile. He quit lickin," but now just stares something fierce at the barn midpole all day. Clem wasn't feelin' too kindly himself so the stranger left some magic roots for him. His eyes been lookin' kinda glassy ever since, but Clem's still the best durn mailman we ever had besides being the only one.
Clem is a man of integrity too, just like all the rest of the mail carriers. He's hones and good with money. In fact, twice a year Clem saves enough to git somethin' new. This year, after the mail came in, he gave to all the charities and bought himself a new house. Your could almost swear he was carrying a bag of money instead of mail!! He's our Mayor too and takes care of things like City revenuer-sharing allottments, etc; all those wicked socialistic instruments, he sez. Good to have a man smart enough to handle the Feds and their strange ways. We don't worry about Social Insecurity or Medicare. Clem sez its all a Communist Plot and returns the money!! Fine man, he is!!
Well, don't know what else to say except you Bubs that critize the Postal People are a bit daff or pixilated as Granny would say. Cuz just as sure as this is the year, the year ahhhhh, they year welllllll, of nice sunrises and sunsets, the Postal System is fine and upritey. Just think these things out and you'll see what I mean.
I thank you for readin' this; Bless America and down with everything beyond our comprehension....Clem sez a lot of bad changes goin' on in the Vallies, but we don't hear much in our little town of Awareness!! Best that way, though. It's hard enough being simple backward people resistin' thos tainted progressive notions.
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